


Wheels

by Whispersmummy



Category: Berena - Fandom, Casualty (TV), Holby City
Genre: Actual plot, F/F, Fix It Fic, Fluff and Smut, It's All Okay In The End, Leah isn't an asshole, Menopause, Mirror Sex, Oral Sex, Threesome - F/F/F, Tribbing, Whatsapp, bernie goes on an emotional journey, bernie is an understanding human being, bernie is being brave and making friends, canon ish compliant, ethan has kissed a guy, fantasies, i guess this is now a crossover fic with casualty, leah doesn't ruin it all, noel is a dark horse, post-episode, serena is so very conflicted, series 20, sex in a public place, strap on, text sex, very okay in fact
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2019-10-02 22:03:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17271956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whispersmummy/pseuds/Whispersmummy
Summary: Life can be surprising. Wheels turn, things come up. Third wheels aren't always a bad thing.What could have happened, with a little more communication, openmindedness and acceptance.Gifted to my fine friend Nat, as a thank you for Tiny Dancer, and perhaps with influences from it...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serenacampbell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenacampbell/gifts).



Bernie had overslept during the day so had hurried to get to the hospital for her night shift, dropped Serena’s flowers off at reception, leaving with them strict instructions to deliver them forthwith to AAU. After several hours of textual silence—no thank you text from Serena was a bad sign—she investigated the issue and discovered the flowers had been taken to oncology.

Due to the packed status of the trauma facility on the ED, she’d been unable to personally rectify the situation. So she had sent a dutiful David across the hospital as delivery boy. She liked the nurse—he reminded her somewhat of Jason. Sensible and plain in the way he spoke, as well as a little ostracized by the rest of the team.

She hated not being able to take Serena out on her birthday. Just a dinner, perhaps a nice bottle somewhere and some music. Nothing too taxing, not really. Especialy with the recent death of their colleague—not that she’d known Roxanna all that well. However, the determination in Serena’s text at around ten suggested she had made happy plans. Bernie had nodded to herself as she had replied, caressing the letters on her phone screen as if she could portray the affection she felt just by that gesture. Her heart swelled as she watched the two little blue ticks appear. Then she swallowed her love for Serena and went about her shift again, safe in the knowledge that Serena was having a nice time.

At five A.M. she crept into the leafy detached and hung her coat and bag on the allocated hook. She smiled at Serena’s coat, which hung next to it, and the scarf she’d seen her off in after making her a hearty egg-based breakfast. She’d taken special care over the toast, making sure it was the perfect shade of gold, and the coffee she’d brewed was a new batch from a reputable independent shop in town. The smell of good coffee lingered even now, the next day. Bernie allowed it to fill her lungs as she took her boots off and organised them neatly next to Serena’s.

Next, she went into the kitchen and poured a glass of milk. She always struggled to sleep well after her first night. She hoped a milky drink would help. She slipped it slowly and gazed out of the kitchen window at the trees that swayed orange in the streetlamps. The sun had yet to come up—she loved this time of the day. Everyone was asleep, including Serena. She wondered how Guinevere had slept, whether she had kept her parents up all night yet again. She considered offering her services for the afternoon if Greta wanted a rest, but she had only been back a couple of weeks and wasn’t sure if the young woman trusted her quite yet. Especially not enough to look after the baby.

She leant against the counter and smiled at the cardigan that was thrown over the back of one of the oak chairs around the table. She fingered the softness of the wool and remembered unbuttoning it around a week ago, when Serena had pressed her up against the very counter she currently had her elbow on. Bernie sighed and felt a tingle trickle through her body. It was nice to be able to think about encounters, without the worry that it might be months before they saw one another again. She was glad she had left Nairobi once the trauma facility had found its feet. Glad she had returned to Serena once she was able to. She didn’t much like being apart from her.

The tingly feeling lingered and she cast her gaze upwards to the ceiling. She imagined Serena in bed, curled up probably, with one hand outstretched, waiting for Bernie’s warm body to settle in beside her. Just for an hour or so. Then she’d have to get up for work.

After downing the rest of her milk, Bernie tiptoed upstairs to brush her teeth and wash her face. She slipped out of her clothes whilst still on the landing and thanked whoever was up there that Jason no longer lived with them. It was rather freeing to be able to undress somewhere she wouldn’t wake Serena after a night shift.

She relished creeping into _their_ bedroom—a new thought that had become very pleasurable to think about—and shuffling as quietly as she could around the bed. Pulling the covers back, she made sure not to disturb the sleeping mound on the other side, before sinking onto the mattress in her knickers and socks, and lying down gently.

The mound stirred and inhaled deeply, but then the breath left Serena and she seemed to still, her expression still relaxed in sleep. Bernie snuggled down into the pillow and draped the duvet over herself. She sighed deeply, allowing tenderness to sweep through her at the sight of Serena’s smooth face in slumber.

_You’re so beautiful._ She could barely help reaching the few inches between them and running a fingertip down Serena’s jaw. Another long intake of breath, but again Serena didn’t wake.

Bernie pulled her hand back and settled down properly, bending her knees up and making herself comfortable on her side, facing the middle of the bed. She lay her hand against the back of Serena’s and closed her eyes.

A few minutes later she was on the edge of sleep, that hazy place one goes to just before happy dreams begin. The hand underneath hers shifted, then slid away. It returned atop Bernie’s, fingers curling warmly around hers.

A low murmur escaped Bernie’s lips. The answering murmur, and the nose that nuzzled her cheek, made her open her eyes.

Serena was exhibiting all of Bernie’s favourite sleepy symptoms: lowered lashes, a little dot of drool in the corner of her lips, and a deep darkening of her eyes. “Morning,” she whispered, squeezing Bernie’s fingers again.

Bernie stretched, half pleased that Serena had pulled her back from sleep, half irritated as she had been so close, and turned her hand over to slot their fingers loosely together. “Morning.”

“Shift go okay?”

Bernie nodded. “Sorry about the bouquet.”

Serena rubbed her eyes with her free hand and shrugged. “It’s the thought that counts.” She touched Bernie’s chin. “I had an okay birthday.”

“Apart from the Roxanna thing.”

Serena’s expression faltered and sadness filled her eyes with tears.

“Sorry.” Bernie cleared her throat to strengthen her voice. “She seemed nice. But I only met her a handful of times.”

“Me too.” Serena sucked her bottom lip and then let out a miserable but amused breath. “I feel selfish. It had to happen on my birthday, didn’t it?”

“Don’t.” Bernie shifted closer and slid a hand under her head.

Serena smiled and closed her eyes against Bernie’s hand. She tilted her chin back and Bernie took the hint. Serena’s lips were soft and pliable and the minute Bernie parted her own, Serena responded in kind.

Soft sighs and murmurs rumbled through both of them intermittently. Bernie traced the buttons on Serena’s pyjama top with intent. The fingertips sliding against the bare skin of Bernie’s back secured the suggestion that Serena wanted the same.

Serena broke the kiss after a while and her eyes sparkled in the darkness. “Don’t fall asleep.” She held up one finger and rolled out of bed, before disappearing into the en suite.

Bernie wriggled against the mattress, the previous tingling having been turned up a notch or two. The space between her legs throbbed as she lay in anticipation of Serena’s return. She checked the clock. Serena still had a good forty minutes until she had to be up and in the shower.

“Thought I’d cash in my birthday present a day late,” Serena said as she climbed back into bed, having shed her pyjamas on the way. She looked radiant, all curvy flesh and goose-pimpled skin that Bernie couldn’t wait to get her hands on. She rolled on top of Bernie the minute they touched and grinned down at her, a glint in her eye that Bernie reckoned was mischievous. “This all right?”

Instead of answering verbally, Bernie reached up and pulled Serena’s lips down to her own. Serena’s thighs around her hips felt so good—Bernie loved it when Serena took a little control. Her breasts slid against Bernie and Bernie moaned.

Serena’s laugh vibrated through them. “I’m so glad we have time this morning.”

“Me too,” Bernie managed, Serena’s full weight on her making her mind spin and her sex throb.

Serena hummed her approval as she combed her fingers through Bernie’s hair. “You’re so sexy, darling.”

“And you.” Bernie tugged at the back of Serena’s head, but got a raised eyebrow in return.

“Eager, hmm?”

Nodding dumbly, Bernie groaned again as Serena rolled her hips downwards, the cotton of her pants rubbing against Bernie’s pubic bone. “Serena,” she sighed, trailing her fingertips up and down Serena’s back.

The greying strands that fell over Serena’s eyes hid her gaze for a while, so Bernie pushed them back. “How was your evening?”

Serena pecked her lips and pressed her hips against Bernie’s again. Arousal shot across Bernie’s body like lava and she arched her back. Something passed across Serena’s eyes however, and she looked away briefly.

Concern peeked through Bernie’s arousal. “S-serena?”

Her lip returning inside her mouth, Serena’s gaze remained to one side. “It was fine.”

Something about the pinched tone of her voice made Bernie’s chest hurt. “What happened?”

To Bernie’s relief, Serena smiled and chuckled. She leant up on her elbows—one either side of Bernie’s head—and nodded. “Okay.” She huffed as if to herself, at her own inability to articulate perhaps, then rolled from Bernie and lay beside her, leaning her head in her hand.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re going to tell me something I’m not going to like?” Despite Bernie’s relief, something was obviously bothering Serena. The tension in her jaw was a dead giveaway.

“Right. So. We have a new F1 on AAU.”

“You said.” Bernie nodded too. “Leah…something.”

“Faulkner. She um…well she’s had a rough first shift. Made a little bit of an error when it came to patient handling…anyway. That’s by the by.” Serena made a sweeping gesture across the duvet and Bernie caught her hand.

“What did she do?” She smoothed her thumb across Serena’s knuckles.

Serena opened her mouth and then paused. Her gaze returned to Bernie’s and her expression relaxed somewhat. “You know? It’s not that big a deal. I think I sorted it.”

Bernie squeezed Serena’s fingers. “Tell me?”

Serena rolled her eyes. “Fine. She…I think she propositioned me.”

Bernie nearly fell out of bed. Her horror and surprise must have been plain on her face because Serena looked desperate.

“I didn’t…obviously I didn’t accept. Or even lead her on. At least I don’t think I did.” She clutched at Bernie’s hand, fear sliding into her eyes.

A barked laugh echoed throughout the bedroom and a minute later Bernie realised it had come from her own lips. She clamped her mouth shut and forced heart to slow. “I hope you told her where to go.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Serena looked away again, obviously deep in worried thought.

“What did she do exactly?” Bernie adopted a calmer, more sensitive tone.

“Um…” Serena caught her eye again and visibly relaxed when she saw Bernie’s small smile. “She…we went out for a drink. I bought us a bottle. I had no idea she was…anyway. She told me her flat was just down the road. She put her hand on my knee.” Guilt flickered across Serena’s face as she swallowed.

“And you did what?” Bernie was surprised and rather impressed with herself when her voice came out soft.

“I… Well she had this…awfully sincere look in her eye. I didn’t exactly know what to do.”

Bernie tilted her head. “Have you never had a woman come onto you before?”

“Ah, no. Apart from Fleur.”

“And you didn’t even notice that.” Bernie smirked. “Darling, you really have no bloody idea how gorgeous you are, do you.”

A deep flush covered Serena cheeks. “Well, I…” She seemed to grapple for words. Then she smiled, her teeth glinting in the darkness. “Female acquaintance-wise, there’s only really been you. No other woman has made advances.” She patted Bernie’s shoulder. “And you weren’t exactly forthright about the whole thing.”

“True.”

“So, I just sort of…” Serena huffed. “Told her I had an early start and that I should get a taxi.”

“Ah. I wondered why your car wasn’t in the drive.”

“Yes, we got somewhat trolleyed on Shiraz. She seemed quite happy to have whatever I was offering.”

Bernie looked at her.

Serena’s eyes became wide.

Bernie couldn’t help it. She was glad humour coloured her words. “Apparently in more ways than one.”

Her palm making contact yet again with Bernie’s shoulder, this time in mock-annoyance and blatant disbelief, Serena rolled onto her back and pushed a hand through her hair. “Oh God, I’m going to have to be a bit firmer with Dr Faulkner, aren’t I?”

“An F1? Your direct subordinate? I should think so.”

Serena nodded and squeezed her eyes shut.

Bernie hummed affectionately and cuddled up to her side. Serena’s whole body was tense. “It’s alright. I’m sure she’ll get the message.”

“I was sort of hoping the message had been received.” Serena groaned. “Oh God and there I was buying her wine and talking with her about her past relationships. She was quite understanding about the whole long-distance thing, although of course, it’s not an issue anymore.”

“No.” Bernie kissed under her ear. “Because I’m right here.”

Giggles bubbled within Serena’s chest. “And how wonderful it is.” She turned her head towards Bernie and captured her lips. The kiss was slow and steady, concreting any worry that loitered inside Bernie.

Bernie sighed deeply as the kiss broke. “Don’t worry.”

“You don’t think I’m an absolute fool?” Serena shook her head on the pillow. “She’s at least fifteen years…possibly even twenty…my junior.”

“Not a fool,” Bernie murmured, her hand sliding down Serena’s neck, her shoulder, her ribs, tickling patterns into her waist, before her fingers curled around her hip. She pulled once, twice, and Serena rolled back on top of Bernie with a smile. They both sighed. “Just irresistible.”

Her lips a millimetre from Bernie’s, Serena smiled. “D’you reckon?”

Bernie simply nodded.

“Okay.” And they were kissing again, the heat building between them until Bernie couldn’t stop her hands from wandering over the curve of Serena’s buttocks.

Leaning up on her elbows and flicking her tongue out against Bernie’s bottom lip, Serena pressed her hips downwards, calling forth a renewed jolt of arousal within Bernie. “You…you don’t mind that…that another woman thinks I’m attractive?”

“Of course I mind.” Bernie sucked at Serena’s neck, grazing her teeth against Serena’s soft skin until she whimpered. “It’s annoying, but not surprising. Like I said, you’re damn hot.”

Serena chuckled and squeezed Bernie’s hips with her thighs. “Am I?”

“Just so long as it’s just a…a crush she enjoys from afar. So long as you don’t feel uncomfortable, or harassed.”

Gazing down with dark eyes, Serena’s smile widened affectionately. She brushed a lock of hair back from Bernie’s forehead. “If I do, I’m sure you’ll find some way to warn her off.”

“I know thirteen ways to kill a person with my bare hands.” Bernie stretched back against the pillows. Her hands slid up Serena’s sides and Serena hissed when they cupped her breasts. _God, she’s so soft. I never get bored of touching her._

“Not the only thing you know how to do with your hands,” Serena gasped, arching her back when Bernie’s thumbs circled her nipples.

“That’s right. I’m a great surgeon too.”

Serena scoffed in disbelief, then pressed their lips firmly together. “She gave me a birthday muffin,” she murmured against Bernie’s lips.

Bernie pulled back with an arched eyebrow. “Did she?”

“Mmm-hmm.” That smirk was back in place.

“Got something better right here,” Bernie said, before trailing her hands downwards and sneaking her fingertips into Serena’s knickers.

Her eyes closed the minute Bernie’s hand slid between her legs, and the breath that shuddered out of her was laced with a moan.

Bernie answered Serena with a moan of her own, the wetness she found an absolute delight. She wondered briefly about the cause: has their conversation about the obviously attractive F1 been kindling to Serena’s arousal, or had it been Bernie’s caring jealousy and talk of doing something about it? Perhaps Serena liked her macho side, not that it surfaced too often these days. She wasn’t in the army anymore. She didn’t need to prove her strength in that way. These days it was more about love and acceptance and personal bravery than guns and running and the field. Bernie preferred the love part, most definitely, but the rest, she hadn’t made up her mind about yet.

Starting up a steady rhythm against Serena’s centre, Bernie lifted her other hand to comb through Serena’s hair as they kissed. The greying tresses were a delightful new addition since Serena’s return from the vineyards of France, and Bernie loved to touch them, knowing that the embrace of her natural colour had come hand-in-hand with Serena’s acceptance of herself. And the way Serena moaned when Bernie touched her hair was just as absorbing.

Serena started rolling her hips, her whole body undulating and sliding deliciously against Bernie’s. When Bernie fluttered her fingers right where she knew Serena wanted them, Serena gasped.

“Oh darling,” Serena breathed, her eyes opening lazily.

Bernie moved her hand downwards and slipped two fingers inside Serena, causing her breathing to hitch and her hips to jump. She tugged her hair gently and slid her tongue against Serena’s, then nipped her bottom lip.

Her wrist was aching already. She withdrew her hand, much to Serena’s apparent disquiet, and pulled the waistband of Serena’s pants over her hipbone. “Off,” she hissed.

Kneeling up, Serena struggled out of her underwear and smiled when Bernie did the same. Bernie held open her arms and Serena settled back on top of her, knees either side of Bernie’s ribs, the sweet smell of her arousal tickling Bernie’s nose.

Without hesitation, Bernie’s lips touched Serena’s at the same moment her fingers slid back inside her. Serena keened and pressed her hips downwards when Bernie curled her fingers.

“There?” Bernie whispered.

Lips parted and breath rushing between them, Serena nodded.

Bernie drew tiny circles against Serena’s front wall, relished the tightening of Serena’s thighs and the jolt of her hips. Blotches of rouge covered Serena’s neck and chest and beads of sweat had gathered between her breasts.

With her free hand, Bernie swept a droplet from her cleavage, painting the wetness on Serena’s nipple.

Serena’s hands fisted either side of the pillow and she began rocking her hips against Bernie’s hand at the contact.

Grinning up at her, Bernie pressed back, thankful for her long fingers and her ability to read the depth of arousal in Serena’s expression. “Much better than a silly muffin.”

Serena nodded in sincere agreement, her hips thrusting and thrusting. Her pubic hair brushed Bernie’s on every press, which caused tingles of arousal to burn across Bernie’s belly. When Bernie brought her thumb forward, her knuckle pressing against the slick bundle of nerves, Serena’s rocking stilted.

“Oh God.” Serena’s voice was nothing more than a squeak.

It filled Bernie’s heart, sent tremors down her legs and across her erogenous zones.

Serena leant down and kissed Bernie’s neck, her tongue flicking out and her teeth grazing Bernie’s skin. Her whole body pressed against Bernie’s their perspiring skin slippery and causing friction all at once. Bernie’s hand was trapped between them but she didn’t care. She could stand it. She knew Serena was close.

Moans, rumbling through Serena in time with the jumping of her hips and the rolls of Bernie’s hand, bounced off the walls of the bedroom with gusto. Serena pressed her nose and mouth into Bernie’s shoulder, her nipples dragging across Bernie’s skin with her thrusts. Bernie’s sex throbbed and her own moans joined Serena’s. She didn’t reckon she’d ever been so turned on in her life.

A moment later, Serena’s body tensed. Her hips sped up and a rush of wetness coated Bernie’s hand. As she started to shake, Bernie wrapped her arm around Serena’s hips and urged her on, encouraging her to move, curling and uncurling her fingers inside Serena.

Serena pushed up on her arms, her head thrown backwards and her eyes closed. She shook hard, her mouth wide in a smile, her hips pressing Bernie’s hand deep inside her. The walls around Bernie’s fingers trembled, then contracted in waves as Serena came.

Finally, Serena’s lungs expanded and fell. One hand drifted to Bernie’s cheek as her eyes blinked open. Her hips jumped intermittently, her internal muscles pulling at Bernie’s hand, keeping her inside. Once her gaze had focussed on Bernie, Serena’s face broke in a sleepy smile.

“Oh bugger.”

Bernie furrowed her eyebrows but couldn’t help the smile that lingered due to her hand still being tugged emphatically by Serena’s internal muscles. “What?”

“I’ve got to get up now.” Serena wiggled her hips and Bernie withdrew, causing Serena to tense at the sensation.

“Sorry,” Bernie said, and it was clear from Serena’s reaction that she felt anything but as well.

“Definitely better than a muffin, though.” Serena sat back on her heels and stretched her arms above her head. She still sat astride Bernie, her backside planted firmly against Bernie’s thighs.

“Well, that’s good.” Bernie grabbed a tissue from the side of the bed to dry her hand, disposed of it by throwing it across the room into the bin, then trailed her fingertips up and down Serena’s thighs.

Serena hummed with something resembling affection and pleasure. “So much better.”

Bernie grinned up at her. “You should get up.”

“But…” Serena sent a long look up Bernie’s body. “What about…”

“It’s fine.”

“I can tell you’re not done.”

Bernie shrugged. “I can take care of…” She bit her lip. It wasn’t something they’d ever talked about.

Serena’s smile softened. “That seems rather unfair.”

“It’s fine,” Bernie repeated. She grazed her thumbs over Serena’s hips. “It’s your birthday.”

“Hmmm. Would have liked to have opened my present though.” Serena winked at her. “Played with it a bit, perhaps.”

“Go on, Ms Campbell.” Bernie patted her, indicating she should get up. “Your patients need you.”

Serena leant down and whispered in Bernie’s ear. “You need me.”

Bernie pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I _want_ you. That’s different.”

Tilting her head to one side, Serena gazed down at Bernie with a smile. Then she sighed and nodded, glancing towards the clock. “Shame. I suppose being late the day after my birthday, when we are working opposing shifts, is already going to start tongues wagging.”

Bernie lifted an eyebrow.

Laughter bubbled from both of them.

“Alright, alright.” Serena rolled her eyes and groaned. “I’m getting up.” She gave Bernie a stern look. “You make sure you _do_ take care of yourself. I know you. You’ll struggle to sleep unless you do.”

Bernie gazed up at her, soft warmth flooding her chest. “All right.” She tickled her finger in a line down from her neck and between her breasts.

Serena chuckled. “Maybe wait until I’m in the shower, hmm? Otherwise I’ll be overwhelmed with the need to call in sick.”

“Can’t you do that anyway?”

“Day after my birthday? No chance.”

Bernie sighed as Serena knelt up and slid off the bed. The lack of warm skin against her own made her shiver, so she pulled the duvet up to better cover herself.

Serena skidded into the bathroom with only a slight wobble to her step and a wave over her shoulder. The en suite door closed behind her.

Snuggling back into the pillows, Bernie trailed a hand between her legs, the images of Serena bucking atop her just moments before fuelling her arousal. In no time at all she was writhing and biting back moans, her fingers circling and caressing her clit quickly, her back arching as each wave of pleasure broke within her. Her orgasm crashed over her like a stormy sea, Serena’s moans filling her mind. She lay, breathless and beaming, her hand falling away into the sheets. Sleep tugged her towards it once she’d stopped twitching. She fell asleep naked and sated, and stirred only briefly when Serena came back into the bedroom and pressed a kiss into her hair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, here we have post ep 20.41. Skew what happened into something that would have happened if Bernie wasn’t in Nairobi. And Serena definitely didn’t say: “Don’t tempt me.”
> 
> And yes, I am fully aware that Bea is currently in France. This is, after all, an AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support I've had, guys.
> 
> Who can't believe it's a month today that my novel comes out? Me!

_In Albie’s again?_ Bernie chuckled as she replied to Serena’s text. She pocketed her phone before shouldering her bag and making her way out of the hospital. It was a fairly short but blustery walk to the pub. The wall of warmth that hit her was like stepping out from an air-conditioned airport and into the Nairobi sun. It smelt different though; sort of like home.

She saw Serena the minute she rounded the corner. She was sitting with a large glass of wine, her legs crossed and her head tilted to one side. There was the ghost of a wrinkle between her eyebrows.

Bernie sidled up to her and slid a hand along Serena’s shoulder. Apparently deep in thought, the touch made Serena twitch. Bernie leant down and dropped a kiss onto the top of Serena’s head. “Hi.”

“Hello.” The joy in Serena’s voice seemed mixed with relief.

“Alright?”

Serena nodded and sipped from her glass. “Want one?”

“I’ll get it.” With a squeeze to her shoulder, Bernie left her bag next to the armchair Serena was currently occupying and jogged over to the bar. She rested her hip against it as she waited her turn and allowed her gaze to drift over the clientele.

A woman with short blonde hair was over one side chatting with Bea. The woman was pretty, had big blue eyes and a knowing smile. Bea was acting with shyness, tucking her hair behind her ear and leaning into the woman’s space. Bernie reckoned there was probably a few years between them, but the look in Bea’s eyes was that of admiration.

_I don’t think I’ve seen this newbie in the ED. I wonder who she is._

Drink in hand, Bernie returned to Serena, who had finished half her glass. This time, Serena gave her a brighter smile and reached for her hand as Bernie sat in the armchair next to her.

Bernie returned the smile and glanced over at Bea and her companion again. “Looks like Dr Kinsella has a new friend.” Bernie gestured towards the couple with her glass.

Serena strained around to look and Bernie felt her fingers tense. When Serena turned back her cheeks were pink.

Confusing and affection fizzed inside Bernie. “What? Surely you don’t mind seeing other women getting flirty together?” She caressed her thumb over the back of Serena’s hand and dropped her tone to a whisper. “We’re not the only lesbian couple in the world, you know.”

“I know,” Serena stated, the lines back between her brows. She twisted her mouth uncomfortably and then sighed deeply. “That’s Dr Faulkner.”

Realisation dawned. “Oh.” Bernie returned her attention to Bea and Leah, squinting in consideration. “I thought she looked a bit old for Bea.”

“Is she?” Serena bit her lip and trained her gaze on the coffee table in front of her.

“A bit.” Bernie frowned and tugged at Serena’s hand. “You all right?”

“What?” She jumped as she had when Bernie had walked in and her cheeks reddened even further. “Sorry. Yes. I’m perfectly fine.” Guilt shone from her eyes as she lifted her gaze to Bernie’s.

“What is it?” Bernie softened her voice, concern taking over from amusement.

“I… She…” Serena looked around her with a clearly embarrassed air.

Bernie squeezed her fingers. “Hey. Has something happened?”

“No. Not exactly.”

“You spoke properly with her, didn’t you? Dr Faulkner?”

The look on Serena’s face said it all. She shakily reached for her glass.

“You didn’t.” Bernie rolled her eyes but then forced a smile onto her face. Something about the way Serena sat slightly hunched made her think all she wanted to do was hide. “So, come on. What happened?”

Another huge sigh. Then Serena appeared to relax, just a bit, and turned to face Bernie properly. After a small sip of wine, she placed her glass on the table. “The delightful Ethan sent up Scary Sue.”

“From ITU. I know. Had an abscess, didn’t she?”

“She rather enjoys a natter. Gossip would be more accurate actually.” Serena picked at a thread on her trousers and stared at it for a while, before smoothing it down. “I overheard Leah telling Donna that Sue had been gossiping about me and you.”

“Oh.” Bernie wasn’t sure how to respond, so she waited for Serena to continue.

“Apparently Sue had heard tell that I was going to be moving back to Nairobi sometime soon. She wasn’t sure where she’d heard it. She hadn’t heard, however, that you were back in the country. I put them right on that account.” Serena fumbled with her trouser leg, and then pushed her shoulders up near her ears. “It just made me feel a bit uncomfortable.”

Bernie dropped Serena’s hand and smoothed her fingers around the back of Serena’s neck. “Hey.” She waited for Serena to look at her. “Sue’s always like that. Ethan was saying that she hadn’t even been on the ED five minutes and she was already talking about Alicia’s assault.” Bernie wrinkled her nose. “I think she’s one of those people that just can’t help it. But I don’t think she means anything by it.”

“I know.” Serena’s expression dropped and she looked a bit sad. “Leah said she’s lonely.” Her big brown eyes gazed at Bernie and glittered wetly. “I know what that’s like.”

Bernie played with the short hairs at the base of Serena’s neck. “Not anymore, I hope.”

“Course not,” Serena impressed, before pressing a kiss to Bernie’s cheek.

Bernie turned her head shortly afterwards and pulled her in for a proper kiss, one that was soft but in no way hurried.

When they pulled apart, Serena was smiling. A delighted hum rumbled through her and she touched Bernie’s cheek with clear affection. “Sometimes when we work opposite shifts, it’s difficult. But I know when we’ll have a day off together and I’m well aware I can wait until then.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

The look between them lingered for a while longer and Bernie felt her stomach settling back down. _I’m glad I can make her feel better when she’s stressed._ “So apart from being gossiped about…” Bernie tickled a circle into Serena’s skin, right below her ear. Goose pimples erupted beneath her fingers and Serena blushed again. _That’s another way of making her feel better, I suppose._ “Anything else bothering you?”

Serena’s gaze dropped again and, again, Bernie gave her time. “I just…” She wriggled in her seat and picked up her glass again. “Today was…difficult. No, that’s not the right word.” Her eyes flicked towards where Leah and Bea were still standing together.

“Is Dr Faulkner still making it clear she wants to shag you?”

Serena choked on her wine. Her hand flapped before her face. “Don’t…don’t _do_ that.” Humour sparkled in her eyes.

Bernie chuckled. “Sorry. It’s true though, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t use such sordid terminology.”

“Whatever words you use, the fact remains.”

Serena huffed and put her glass back down. “It was only at the end of the shift. She was getting her bloodstained top from her locker. I went in to get my things. She invited me for a drink, which I declined. I had admin to do, reams and reams of paperwork.” A shudder went through Serena’s shoulders. “I just…” She gestured in the air. “…I don’t know why I get so flabbergasted with her. She irritates me; don’t ask me why. I don’t think I’ve figured it out myself.”

Bernie rubbed her shoulder, hoping to ease her discomfort. “Is she still being needy?”

“Yes,” Serena groaned, her fingers to her temple. “She wanted my support whilst she lanced Sue’s abscess.”

Bernie made a noise of combined annoyance and sympathy.

“I mean, I know she hadn’t done one before, but it’s not exactly rocket science. I tried really hard to encourage her to do it by herself but she was very insistent.”

“Sounds like she lacks confidence.”

“That can’t be true. In the locker room, she was quite…forward. Despite my attempt to remind her I’m well and truly taken, she still seems to think she has a chance.”

“Does she?” Bernie had meant it as a joke, a tease to make Serena smile. Unfortunately, it came out more accusatory than she had intended.

Serena blinked at her. “No. Of course not. Why would you—“

“I wasn’t.” Bernie pressed her lips together. “I was joking.” She resumed the circles against Serena’s neck. “Trying to lighten the mood.”

Serena’s lips curled upwards. “Anyway, I think mentioning you made a small difference. We’ll see. If it doesn’t work, I shall just have to let slip the thirteen ways of killing someone with your bare hands information.”

A smirk tugged Bernie’s face and she allowed herself a laugh. “That’s more like it.”

“I really wish she didn’t irritate me so much.” Serena pouted and leant sideways so that her cheek rested against Bernie’s shoulder.

Bernie slid her arm around Serena’s back and kissed her temple. “She’ll gain the skills and confidence soon, I’m sure. Maybe you just expect her to be better at it because she’s a bit older.”

“Hmm. Maybe.” Serena nuzzled against Bernie’s shoulder.

“And until then, your fabulous mentoring skills will be well-used.”

“I hope so.” Serena’s lips brushed Bernie’s neck, making her shiver.

She leant her head against the top of Serena’s, her nose sinking into the salt-and-pepper hair. She inhaled deeply and sighed at the familiar scent of shampoo, perfume and sweet smell that was Serena.

They sat in comfortable silence, the occasional touch and squeeze interrupting an otherwise settled few moments. When Serena’s kisses became more deliberate, trailing and nipping just a touch at Bernie’s neck, Bernie glanced around, before sinking her fingertips into Serena’s hair. “Keep doing that and you’ll be in trouble, Campbell.”

“Maybe I want to be in trouble,” Serena whispered back, before lifting her head and looking Bernie dead in the eye.

Bernie swallowed audibly and drained her glass, before standing shakily and starting towards the ladies’. She didn’t even need to look behind her to know that Serena was following her. Just before she pushed the door of the bathroom open, she glanced towards Leah and Bea.

Leah’s gaze was following Bernie, one eyebrow lifted.

Lifting her chin defiantly, Bernie stared straight at Leah, narrowing her eyes in a way she hoped conveyed an appropriate level of yes-that’s-exactly-what-we’re-going-to-do.

The way Leah’s eyes widened in surprise and—was that approval?—made Bernie grin. Serena’s hand snuck inside her own before she pulled them both into the bathroom.

It was, thankfully, deserted. Even so, Bernie led Serena into a cubicle and closed the door behind them. The lock made a scraping noise as she slid it firmly into place. When she turned to face Serena in the confined space, she was greeted by the deepest look of hunger she’d ever seen. It was as if they were drawn together by magnets and their first kiss was hurried and accompanied by muffled moans. Bernie clutched at Serena’s waist, feeling Serena’s hand sliding into her hair both sides.

Serena pulled back first and seemed to be taking a breath, holding Bernie at arm’s length. Her eyes shone and she was smiling. “Are we really doing this?” she hissed.

“Again?” Bernie winked at her, stepping slightly forwards to press Serena against the wall.

“Hmm. We were drunk that first time.”

“Yeah. And we didn’t exactly go—” Bernie paused when the door into the bathroom opened and at least two sets of footsteps echoed off the tiled walls. She swallowed and lowered her lips to Serena’s ear. “We didn’t go all the way.”

Serena caressed her cheekbone with her thumb. “Aw. ‘All the way’, like we’re in secondary school.”

Bernie’s cheeks burned but she couldn’t help the grin that seemed glued to her face.

“Do you…” Serena cleared her throat quietly. “Would you like to...?” She shrugged and lowered her lashes.

Giggles from outside their little haven made them both muffle snorts of amusement.

“Why Ms Campbell. How very brazen.”

Serena just shrugged again and then batted her eyelashes.

Dipping her head slowly, Bernie pressed Serena firmly but carefully against the wall, before pressing her lips to Serena’s. This time, the kiss was lazy, but full and deep. Tingles shot down Bernie’s back. She closed her eyes and concentrated on how Serena felt against her. She belt one knee and pressed it between Serena’s soft thighs. Her hands skimmed up and down Serena’s waist, from her hips to her ribs.

The ribs under her fingers expanded widely, and Serena belt her own knee in kind, rolling her hips forward, perhaps to increase the friction between them.

Bernie responded by doing the same and then curling her thumbs into Serena’s belt loops. When she tried to inch them south, Serena broke the kiss and chuckled. “All right, Soldier. Easy.”

“Sorry.” Bernie was panting and she sucked on her bottom lip as she opened her eyes. She took in the way Serena’s cheeks and neck were flushed, the way her eyes shone with mischief. She slid her hands to the roundness of Serena’s backside.

It had been a while since Bernie had been turned on whilst still fully clothed. Usually their make-out sessions—and she’d never call them that openly, that was far too adolescent a phrase—were when they were in pyjamas, or at least in jogging bottoms and t-shirts. Bernie had taken to going bra-less when they were at home and weren’t entertaining. Serena never complained; quite the opposite. Bernie had woken several times from napping on the sofa to find Serena’s skilled fingertips working their magic on her nipples.

Those two erogenous areas were currently pressed achingly against the padded cups of her bra, and Bernie briefly wished she hadn’t worn one. Then she thought of the cold weather and wandering eyes of her colleagues and breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t. This was not the time nor place to be saluting the world.

Still gathering Bernie’s hair between gentle fingers, Serena was studying her as if simply the act of looking was turning her on. Bernie felt a soft tug behind her ear and bit back a growl. “How am I supposed to take it easy when you’re doing that,” she indicated Serena’s hands, “and looking at me like that?” She tilted her head one way, then the other.

Serena combed Bernie’s hair behind both ears, which caused Bernie to shiver with delight. “You’re just so…” But apparently she couldn’t think of an appropriate word to describe how Bernie was.

Taking pity on her, Bernie pursed her lips coyly and dipped her head. “Right back at you.”

With her tongue poking out in an utterly adorable expression of thought, Serena darted her gaze around them. “So…how is this going to work?”

“You mean: will we be able to stand up if we’re…” Bernie narrowed her eyes before glancing beside them, at the suspiciously pristine toilet.

Whoever had come into the bathroom left, chattering away and allowing the door to snick closed. Silence fell.

Serena stared in horror at the toilet. “I am _not_ sitting astride the loo whilst you fuck me.”

Bernie faltered and then balked when she realised what Serena had said.

Serena, for her part, looked reasonably amused and perhaps even a little pleased with herself. “What? The word ‘fuck’ is worse than ‘shag’?”

Bernie manage to gather her wits again and frowned cockily. “I was in the army. I’m allowed to use foul language.”

“Well, I was a barmaid at uni. Doesn’t that give me extra swearing privileges?”

Giving Serena a biting kiss to appease her, Bernie set her expression into one of consideration. “Hmm. I suppose against the wall would be preferable.”

“I’m not sure whether either choice is preferable.” A touch of frustrated misery slid into Serena’s eyes.

Bernie smoothed the tiny piece of hair by Serena’s ear and chucked her chin affectionately. “Why don’t we have a go and see what happens?”

After winding her arms around Bernie’s neck, Serena smiled up with glistening teeth and pulled Bernie down the inch of height difference to plant their lips against one another.

Kissing commenced, with wide sweeps of lips and the wet slidings of tongues. Serena held Bernie securely around the neck, one hand filtering through her hair intermittently, the other scraping its blunt nails against her hairline, almost hard enough to leave a mark.

The caress caused Bernie to gasp and flatten Serena against the wall again, her knee shoving between Serena’s legs. She felt so good, pressed hard against her, all that curve and supple softness. She moved her hands up Serena’s sides, over her ribs and to the wire of her bra. At Serena’s encouraging but soft murmurs, she pushed one cup up and tickled tiny patterns into the flesh of Serena’s breast through both her blouse and vest.

_Too many layers._ Bernie’s brain remembered the back clasp through a haze of arousal and she fumbled for a few seconds, but got it open through both layers.

Serena chuckled softly and wiggled so that the bra shifted out of the way.

Inspired by the way Serena’s breasts felt, free and in her hands through her clothing, Bernie caressed and plumped, her thumbs sweeping gently over Serena’s nipples.

That made Serena moan and clutch at her, pulling Bernie’s lips roughly downwards and against her neck.

Bernie complied, kissing and biting, praying she wouldn’t mark Serena’s lovely skin but half hoping she did. Hoping Leah would see when they were finished and returned to the pub. Hoping Leah knew that Serena was all for Bernie, and no one else.

She had to hold herself back though because, of course, Serena would not be happy if Bernie gave her a love bite. Love bites were not things that strong and sophisticated women like Serena had. Not past the age of eighteen, anyhow.

Deciding to use tongue rather than teeth, she painted letters into Serena’s neck. She spelled her own name, then Serena’s, and finally wrote ‘I love you’. By the breathy gasps and murmurs coming from the woman in Bernie’s arms, she figured Serena wasn’t up for reading right then. Not that it mattered. Bernie knew that Serena knew how she felt about her.

The muscles in Serena’s shoulders tensed and Bernie found her hand being guided downwards. She blinked down at Serena and discovered a sweaty mess, with Serena’s fringe sticking to her forehead. “Y’all right?” Bernie managed.

Serena nodded quickly. “Hot flush. Be over in a minute.” She nodded towards the floor. “Don’t stop though.”

“I don’t mind waiting if—” Bernie was cut off by Serena’s own fingers pressing against her sex through her jeans.

“No need.” Serena smiled at Bernie, before, with a dexterity Bernie didn’t think was possible for someone in such a messy state, she undid the button and fly. Serena’s other hand released Bernie’s before sweeping up her belly to cup one of her bra-clad breasts.

She held a groan back through a bitten lip and rested her forehead against Serena’s. “Oh darling.”

“Touch me,” Serena requested, the pinking of her cheeks displaying how shy she felt about saying the words.

“Of course,” Bernie replied sincerely and her fingertips skimmed the soft skin exposed above Serena’s waistband before she undid the button and zip.

The minute her fingertips slipped beneath the material of Serena’s trousers, Bernie realised how terribly turned on Serena was. The wetness she found was intoxicating and she immediately slipped her fingers into Serena’s underwear and further, curling around her mons and relishing in the wiry hairs against her palm.

“Yes.” Serena moved her feet apart on the tiled floor and rocked her hips forwards. She stretched backwards against the wall and moulded Bernie’s breast in her hand.

Bernie stared down at her, all sweaty and beautiful, with ribs heaving, and lips parted and just begging to be kissed. She gave into the urge—not that she was holding back at all, I mean, why bother?—and locked their lips together. She groaned when Serena’s fingers jammed down her jeans and straight into her underwear, fingers beginning to press and release in a rhythm.

It wasn’t enough to properly stimulate in a way she really wanted, but Bernie could tell Serena knew this and was probably just teasing for a while. That mischievous glimmer in her eye was back and it made Bernie laugh. The hand on her breast move to her lips to quieten her.

“Someone might come in.”

Bernie fluttered her fingers against Serena’s clit and grinned at the strangled gasp it triggered. “Someone is going to come…in.” She winked and Serena rolled her eyes.

“Terrible. It’s a good job your better in bed than you are at jokes.”

“Isn’t it?” Bernie dipped her head to catch Serena’s earlobe between her lips.

Gasping and arching her back, Serena squeezed Bernie’s breast again then lifted on foot from the floor to hitch it around Bernie’s hip. “I’m not sure this is going to be a mutual thing, Bernie.”

“Finding it difficult to concentrate?”

“A little.”

“It’s all right.”

“No.” Serena pressed her hips against Bernie’s once more, and then wiggled away. She pushed Bernie against the opposite wall, slightly knocking the wind out of her.

Bernie lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Oh yes.” Serena’s free hand, the one that wasn’t down Bernie’s jeans, wrapped around her right thigh and tugged. “Give me a bit more access, hmm?”

Bernie complied, lifting her knee and instantly feeling the benefit between her legs.

Those fabulous fingers dipped lower and slid inside her, before drawing out and concentrating on her clit. Serena kissed her, pushing her hips between Bernie’s and effectively holding her up against the wall.

With gusto, Bernie cupped Serena’s head and kissed her back, figuring who was she to complain when Serena wanted something that wasn’t all together unpleasant? The fingers between her legs circled and then began to slide back and forth, a slow and agonisingly gentle rhythm. Bernie stopped herself from trying to speed Serena up. At least she wasn’t being teased anymore.

One of Bernie’s hands left Serena to smack against the wall by her hip. She groaned breathily and then bit her lip to stop anything else from escaping. Her pelvis began to rock of its own accord, in time with the slow thrusts of Serena’s hand. A shiver passed through her when Serena touched an especially tingly spot.

“You’ve not fallen over yet,” Serena whispered, grinning like some kind of cat with the promise of cream. “I’m impressed.”

“You have no idea how difficult this is,” Bernie gasped, gripping onto Serena’s shoulder to make sure she didn’t end up on her backside on the tiles. “Good job I’ve been to the gym this week.”

A noise similar to that of the aforementioned cat broke out of Serena. “Now that _is_ a lovely image. You with weights, working out. All sweaty and…” She trailed off and gave Bernie an impish look.

“If you want sweaty…you got your wish.” Bernie shuddered and gasped, the pleasure building to a burning fire, causing her sex to spasm and her knees to shake.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Serena murmured, pulling Bernie against her, pressing her against the wall and holding her around the waist with her free hand.

Bernie came apart. Flames licked from her sex and outwards, scorching a trail of pleasure all the way to her fingertips. It was as if electricity blazed across her skin. Her nipples sparked. Her sex hummed. Her mouth opened in a silent cry.

A warm mouth attached itself to her neck. She was vaguely aware of being sucked, licked, bitten. When the fog of orgasm cleared, she lifted her head from the wall and blinked at Serena.

The cat with the cream expression had intensified. Serena was licking her lips. Then she did something that nearly made Bernie pass out. She pulled her hand from Bernie’s jeans and sucked on her fingers. The noise that rumbled from Serena’s chest was almost indecent.

With shaky legs, Bernie gathered her strength before she caught Serena by the waist, returning her to the original wall. Serena squeaked as her back hit it, and wrapped her curvy thigh around Bernie’s hip.

Bernie wasted no time. She slipped her fingers beneath Serena’s trousers and knickers and fastened her lips to Serena’s neck. Stroking her clit in quick sweeps and knowing that Serena needed little time or encouragement to make her way full steam ahead to an orgasm, Bernie gathered her around the waist and held her close.

With a gasp, Serena buried her face in Bernie’s shoulder. She shook hard, her legs going completely floppy underneath her. Bernie grabbed her and copied what Serena had done, holding her against the wall and allowing her to relinquish her whole weight. After a few seconds of her hips twitching, Serena let out a soft little moan and relaxed.

Her eyes were wide and clear when she looked up at Bernie. A slow sexy smile spread across her face, followed swiftly by a self-deprecating roll of her eyes.

Bernie shushed her, waving off her embarrassment, and removed her hand from Serena’s trousers. She considered her fingers briefly before shrugging and sticking them into her mouth. She knew what Serena tasted like. Oral sex was something they’d both given and received in equal measures: a regular occurrence. But she figured maybe Serena would be as enamoured with the gesture as she had felt when Serena had done it earlier.

Something that reflected the love and affection Bernie currently had swirling within her shone from Serena’s eyes. “I love you,” Serena whispered.

They kissed gently, the previous heat between them chased away and replaced with acceptance and tenderness.

“I love _you_ ,” Bernie whispered once the kiss was over. She glanced around them, at their half-opened trousers and the way the rest of their clothes were askew. Serena’s bra was bulging the neckline of her blouse where it was pushed up. Bernie stepped away to allow her the room to reorganise herself, and re-buttoned and zipped her own jeans. She smoothed down her top and waited for Serena to reattach her bra at the back, before touching a finger to her chin.

“Do we looked like we just had sex in a public loo?” Serena asked, in an over-innocent way.

Bernie chuckled. “Probably.”

“Maybe we should sneak out the back door.”

Bernie immediately felt disappointed—she had so wanted to parade their libidos to whoever still remained in the pub and especially Leah—but pushed the emotion away when she saw Serena chewing her lip. She sighed and then smiled. “Out the back is fine.”

“One more kiss though. Just to round off the night.”

Serena’s lips were extra soft and pliable when Bernie kissed her, evidence that her orgasm had been satisfying and enough. Bernie reckoned they’d both sleep well, once they dragged themselves out of the toilet cubicle and home.

“I suppose no one could accuse us of being old fogies,” Bernie commented nonchalantly as they peeked out the door to check no one was lingering to catch them.

“No one would dare.” Serena smirked and washed her hands, before drying them.

Bernie stared at her backside blearily, then caught sight on the red mark on her own neck. She decided she didn’t mind. It had been worth it. _Definitely going to sleep well. If I can work out how to put one foot in front of the other…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little aside, during the Gaskell Debarkle. For continuity purposes.

“Ms Wolfe?” Robyn’s voice carried across the ED.

Bernie looked up from the head wound she was stitching and smiled at the young nurse. “Yep?”

“Phone call.” Robyn’s eyes twinkled. “Ms Campbell.”

Holding back the small tingle of happiness to remain professional, Bernie nodded and tied off the last stitch. “Just…one minute.” She smiled down at her patient, a young woman with a black eye. “Almost done, Tammy. Just need to give it a clean.”

David, who apparently had heard the exchange between her and Robyn, moved towards them, his hands out and already gloved up. “I can do that.”

“You sure?”

David flicked his eyes towards the front desk, where the phone sat upended and ready for Bernie to lift.

“Thank you. You’re a star.”

“Star of David,” he joked, taking the saline and swab from her and stepping into the spot she had just vacated.

Bernie stripped her gloves and threw them into the nearest clinical waste bin. The phone was to her ear before she’d even stopped walking. “Hi. Ms Campbell.”

“Ms Wolfe.” A blatant smile made Serena’s voice sing. “I have news.”

“Do you?” Bernie leant one hip against the nurse’s station and stuffed her hand into the pocket of her scrubs.

“I do. Jason has decided to ask Greta to marry him.”

Warmth flooded Bernie’s body and she could help the small breathless gasp that passed her lips. “Oh, wow. That’s great news.”

“Isn’t it? I can’t believe it, to be honest.”

“We need to…to do something.” Bernie searched the department, as if one of the cubicles would give her inspiration.

“Drinks at Albie’s?”

Bernie laughed. “Well. We seem to be hanging out there a lot.”

“Why break with tradition? We could take them out for a nice meal too, couldn’t we? First evening we’re all off together.”

“Get a babysitter for Gwennie? Or maybe bring her with us. Why not?” Bernie wrapped her arm around her own waist as a shiver of delight went through her. _Jason married. How delightful._ “So, how did he do it?”

“Oh he hasn’t, not yet. He’s just decided to.”

“Oh. Well keep me updated.” She hummed as she mulled it all over. “It’s fantastic news, darling.”

“I’ll call you as soon as I know more. Oh wait, here’s Xavier.” A pause. “He looks worried. I’d better go.”

“Come pick you up at the end of my shift?”

“That’d be lovely.”

“See you then.”

Bernie hung up the phone and couldn’t keep the smile from her face for the rest of her shift.

 

***

 

 As it turned out, Bernie had immaculate timing. As she entered AAU, she caught sight of Serena, Donna and Xavier, crowded around the consultant’s office door, excitement and anxiety surrounding them like a fog. She crept up behind Serena and slid a hand around her waist.

Serena’s body relaxed backwards into hers, just slightly. They were at work, and intimate public displays of affection weren’t exactly appropriate. Bernie kept her hand where it was and resisted the urge to press her nose and mouth against Serena’s soft and inviting neck.

“It’s ringing.” Jason, who was on the phone in the office and had otherwise been invisible to Bernie due to the sweetness of Serena’s perfume as it wafted from her neck, turned to them and grinned. “Greta hi, it’s me. I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“He isn’t?” Bernie and Xavier said simultaneously.

“He is,” Serena and Donna answered.

“There are probably tens of thousands of people in the world with whom I would be equally compatible….”

“Where’s he going with it?” Xavier’s words were cut short by Serena’s lifted forefinger.

“…but out of all those people I’d be perfectly happy with, you were the one who came into my life and made it better in every way. You’re the one I want to marry.”

Something surged within Bernie and she threw their displays of affection rule out of the window by wrapping both arms around Serena’s waist and squeezing her. The small chuckle from Serena meant she didn’t mind.

“As soon as possible.”

Bernie snorted, half amused and half head over heels in love with Jason and his plain way of saying things.

“Smooth,” Xavier intoned, and Bernie flapped him to shut him up.

“When Harry said to Sally at the end of the film ‘ _When Harry Met Sally’_ , ‘When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.’”

“In your face, _Love, Actually._ ”

Bernie wasn’t sure what Donna meant, but the other two seemed to, so she shrugged it off and buried herself further into Serena’s neck. Serena’s hands smoothed tenderly against the back of hers around her middle.

“Also, the tax and pension benefits are not inconsiderable.”

Donna hid her grin behind her hand and Serena looked at the floor, her shoulders twitching with held-back laughter. Then she lifted her head and snuggled her cheek against Bernie’s. Bernie rested her chin on Serena’s shoulder and tried not to be too affected by the curvy body all against her front. Especially not the smooth behind pressing into her pelvis.

“That’s not from the film, that’s Mr Griffin. Okay. Yep, I will.” He nodded. “Bye.”

As he turned around, the phone hit the cradle with an audible clunk.

The body in Bernie’s arms tensed with renewed anticipation. Jason just looked at them all as if it was another day in the office.

“Oh, hello Auntie Bernie.” He grinned toothily at her.

“Hello Jason.” Bernie felt a little stunned. Nothing about Jason’s expression told her whether Greta had accepted his proposal, but then Jason didn’t express himself like most people.

Serena knew this too. “Well?”

“She wants me to pick up some nappies on the way home.”

“What did she say?” Donna looked like she was on the edge of a cliff, ready to topple over it.

“Oh, yes. Without hesitation.”

Donna squealed. Xavier leant backwards and clasped his hands together.

“Well this calls for a celebration!” Donna’s voice remained squeaky.

“Definitely,” Xavier said.

Serena turned in Bernie’s arms and grinned up at her for a beat, one hand smoothing against her cheek, then turned back to the little group.

“Drinks at Albie’s; first round’s on me.”

“I’ll get the second.” Xavier seemed pleased as punch.

“And I’ll get the third,” Bernie added. “Maybe some sparkling wine?”

“I don’t like wine. And I’d better get home with those nappies, but feel free to celebrate without me.” Jason was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, but Bernie wasn’t sure whether his mirth had been caused by Greta saying yes, or the excitement on everyone else’s faces. He left the office and everyone patted him. Bernie squeezed his shoulder on the way.

“Congrats and all that,” she said, winking.

His grin widened, if it was possible, and he strode away, probably already planning his journey home via a nappy-selling shop.

“Looks like someone’s got a wedding to plan,” Xavier said, cockiness colouring his voice.

Donna touched Serena’s shoulder in something akin to sympathy as she walked past and Xavier left them too.

A huge sigh made Serena’s shoulders drop, but her smile remained fixed. She leant her forehead against the door frame briefly but then cuddled Bernie’s arms around her own waist once more.

“You’re planning it?” Bernie murmured into her hair.

Serena hummed something between annoyance and affection. “Probably. Although Donna did give me the number of an, apparently, fabulous wedding planner.”

“Someone to plan your wedding for you?” Bernie guided Serena into the office and they sat together on the new sofa. The door made a satisfying click as it closed. Bernie patted the cushions and pressed her knees together. “This is nice.”

“A new addition. Ric wanted to make our office look more homey.” The glint in Serena’s eye told Bernie she was thinking less than innocent thoughts. “I just reckon he’s hoping some lovely female board executive arrives for a very private meeting with him.”

Shaking her head, Bernie laughed. “That old dog.”

“Anyway, yes. Apparently this woman plans the whole thing for you, for an astronomical fee, of course.” Serena slid her fingers between Bernie’s. “I suppose I’d better see what Jason wants to do. What they both want.” She twisted her lips in a deeply affectionate smile. “I expect Greta will have some ideas.”

“And if you do end up having to organise it, I’ll be on hand to help.”

 Bernie squeezed Serena’s fingers.

Big brown eyes smiled up at her, shining wetly. “Thank you.”

“Hey, come on, we’re a team.” Bernie leant forwards and, after pausing momentarily to check they were out of the eye-line of anyone nosy enough to care, pressed her lips to Serena’s.

The low hum that emanated from Serena’s throat made Bernie chuckle. When the kiss broke, she stayed close, her free hand sliding against Serena’s neck in a caress. “So this is really what the sofa’s for, hmm? Brief moments of passion with significant others?”

“Something like that,” Serena whispered, moving in again for another kiss.

It was soft and slow and reasonably chaste. Bernie tried not to let herself get carried away. What with the excitement of the wedding and Serena’s scrumptious perfume, and the way she was stroking Bernie’s hair around one ear, it was fairly difficult. Bernie squirmed and drew back. “Okay.” She took a deep breath and her cheeks burned.

Serena’s cheeks reddened too. “Sorry. I suppose I was just a little overwhelmed.”

“It’s a happy thing. A wonderful thing.”

Their hands remained joined, but Bernie sat back, turned to face the desks they had occupied together for many months. The space allowed her to breath in air that wasn’t sweetened by Serena’s perfume. Her hormones receded and she was able to relax.

“Have you thought about it?” Serena asked quietly.

“What? Jason and Greta getting married?” Bernie narrowed her eyes in thought. “Not…really.”

“No I mean…” Serena gazed at the two desks in front of them, as if she too was remembering their times in the office, back when they shared it. “Us?”

“Us? Married?”

Serena’s gaze dropped to their joined hands. Her eyebrows fell and small lines appeared between them.

“Um…” Bernie chewed on her lip and decided to be honest. “Apart from a passing…fleeting thought; no.”

The smile that spread across Serena’s face as warm. “I’ve had those too.”

“What? Fleeting thoughts?”

“Oh you know. Just, what would it be like? Would I wear a dress? Would _you_ wear a dress? Would I be able to convince you into your army uniform…” The naughty sparkle in Serena’s eye was obvious.

“Oh, so you just want to get me to dress up.” Bernie nodded knowingly and lifted her eyebrows. “I see your game, Ms Campbell.”

Serena shoved her on the shoulder. “Oh be quiet, you. I just have little daydreams. Very fleeting. All the flowers and people smiling and lovely music. It’s a nice thought.”

“But not something we want to do.” Bernie had finished speaking before she realised she’d almost made it into a question.

Serena tilted her head and gave her a soft smile. “I think we can pretty much say that we’ve been there, and done that.”

“I even have the T-shirt,” Bernie quipped.

The cheek that Serena dropped to Bernie’s shoulder was warm. “Mmm. A lot of fuss over something we don’t need to proclaim to the world?”

“Absolutely.”

“I think after the passionate kiss we gave everyone an eyeful of, in the foyer in June, there probably isn’t much doubt about how we feel about one another throughout the hospital.”

“I’d second that.”

“Seems a shame to not seal it with a kiss though.”

Bernie reached up to catch Serena’s chin, before turning her to face her. “Will you marry me, Serena Wendy Campbell?”

“No, I won’t.”

“Good.” Bernie shrugged. “I suppose I’d better kiss my non-bride then.”

And she did, with gusto and as much passion as she could get away with, in the office they used to share, with the knowledge that someone—Donna probably—would walk in at any moment to interrupt them.

 

***

 

Various texts from Serena during a day, in the second week of November, suggested that something dangerous was afoot. Bernie was dealing with several trauma cases, all critical, all needing her full attention. She hoped Serena was getting the support she needed from her team. Her thoughts kept flickering to the surgical wards, to Jac Naylor’s surgery, and to this mystery patient, the infamous Lana.

Bernie forced herself to focus on her work. Once everyone was stable, and Bernie was well due a coffee break, she jogged up the stairs to the conference room Serena had last texted her from.

Raised voices could be heard right down the corridor. Swinging round the door, her trainers squeaked on the tiles as she came to a halt.

“He convinced us all,” Ric was saying.

“Yes, exactly, one way or another we have all been deceived.” Serena gestured into the air, a grave look on her face. Her gaze lifted and the lines in her face briefly disappeared when she caught sight of Bernie.

“Deceived by whom?” Bernie strode into the room and marvelled at the shininess of the large table in the centre. Ric, Serena, Sacha and Fletch were sitting around it. Not one of them looked happy.

Sacha’s mobile trilled. He stood to take the call.

“Mr Gaskell,” Serena said as Bernie took the seat next to her.

“The…the trial?”

Fletch nodded. “He’s been experimenting on his patients. On Jac. On Josh. This Lana he’s apparently brought over from Europe…we don’t even know her last name.”

Bernie stared between them. “Oh God. So what, he’s some sort of…lunatic?”

“People have died,” Ric said, his fingers tapping his lips. “And because we enabled him, we now have blood on our hands.”

“Let’s phone the police and start treating the hospital the way it should be.” Fletch seemed angry, and Bernie got the impression his feelings about the situation were probably heightened due to his affection for Jac.

She and Serena exchanged a look. Serena wasn’t naive to the fact either. She clasped her hands on the table, her fingers sliding in and out of each other, in a way Bernie knew meant she was very worried.

“We’ll be lucky to have a hospital if what this man’s done…gets out.” Ric sounded as crestfallen as the rest of them.

Fletch bowed his head, his hands clasped like Serena’s.

Sacha, having finished his phone call, turned back to them. “That was Dr Chowdhury. She’s with Essie.” With his hand on his hip, Sacha looked as if he wasn’t sure what to do, or say. “He’s lost his mind.”

They all jumped when the door opened. “Sorry just to barge in.” Xavier appeared around the door. “It’s Lana. She’s gone.”

“What d’you mean, gone?” Fletch asked.

“Gone. From ITU.”

They all looked at one another. Serena sat back in her chair, her hand dropping from the table top. Bernie gripped one of her hands under the table.

“I think he’s taken her.”

Ric was the first to stand. “We need to collect all the evidence we can.”

Fletch stood too and the two men left the conference room, Sacha hot on their heels. Xavier gave them both a desperate shrug that screamed ‘I’ve no idea what to do’ and left also.

Bernie pulled Serena’s hand onto the table before leaning down to kiss her knuckles. “Anything you want me to do?”

Serena’s mouth opened and she just shook her head slowly. “Take me away to the Caribbean, a nice sunny holiday?” She touched her temple with her fingertips. “God Bernie, this is such a mess.”

“Well, at least you know now. Sounds like Gaskell’s hid it for some time.”

All Serena could do, apparently, was nod.

Bernie rubbed her back through her blouse. “It’ll be okay.”

“More people might die. Jac, this Lana woman. God knows when it will end.” Then she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and seemed to gather herself. “No. It’ll be fine. We’ll sort it.”

“Course you will. You and Ric and Sacha and Fletch.”

“Yep.” Serena turned to Bernie and gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pull you out of whatever you were doing.”

“I’m always just around the corner,” Bernie replied. She traced the bump of Serena’s bra clasp idly through the cotton, then poked at it. “Suppose I’d better get back.”

Something in Serena’s raised eyebrow suggested she knew where Bernie’s mind had gone. “Honestly, we’re at the brink of complete disaster and all you can think about is copping a feel?”

Bernie tried to look aghast. “I was not.” She removed her hand from Serena’s back.

Serena continued to give her a cheeky but amused look. “Right.” She relinquished her hand and placed both of them flat on the table. “Suppose I’d better make sure the boys don’t make a complete pig’s ear of it.”

“Yeah, better had.” Bernie stood with her. “Like I said, anything I can do.”

“If a sunny holiday is out of the question, I think a long soak in the bath and a glass of wine will just have to do. The minute I walk through our front door.” She stroked Bernie’s cheek with the back of her fingers. “I love you. I’ll be home late.”

“I figured.” Bernie’s pager bleeped and she closed her eyes for a second against Serena’s caress, before pulling the pager out and checking it. She sighed. “Back to it.”

“Keep the bed warm for me.”

“Always.” Bernie watched Serena walk out the door. “I love you.”

Serena glanced back and shot her a glittering smile, before disappearing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie goes out for a poker night with the ED lads...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your support with this. And can you believe, yet another chapter with no sex. What is happening to me?  
> There will be some in the next one, I promise.

Calm seemed to have descended, after the chaos that had been the previous few weeks. Serena leant against Bernie’s shoulder and closed her eyes for the brief few seconds the lift took to arrive at the ground floor. The consultant’s training afternoon had been, luckily, succinct, and had focussed on boring things like infection control and safeguarding. Things they didn’t need to learn but things that needing box ticking to prove they were up to date. Whatever that meant.

Not having Leah constantly in her shadow had been freeing. Some sort of weeklong break with friends in Falmouth. Serena supposed even F1s were allowed the occasional holiday, not that she remembered ever having one. She hadn’t had much money in those days. The lack of the blue-eyed puppy made Serena’s chest lighter and her step springier. Without the incessant wide-eyed pleading for her support and occasional flirtatious winks, her job had felt so much easier. Even the issues with Xavier today had paled in comparison.

Bernie was using a new shampoo. She changed what she used every so often, as if sticking with one brand or flavour bored her. Serena didn’t mind. She herself had used a singular brand since the age of forty, and wasn’t planning to swap for another twenty years at least. She enjoyed the consistency of the same shampoo, whereas Bernie liked change, she thrived on difference. It was what made her such an excellent surgeon in the field.

With a big gulp of the new shampoo—apples perhaps?—Serena felt the lift come to a stop. She resolutely opened her eyes and leant away from Bernie, but kept their hands linked. These days no one cared whether they held hands at the hospital.

The minute they stepped out, Serena caught sight of a very familiar person talking to Fletch. Her heart leapt practically out of her throat as she dropped Bernie’s hand and rushed forward. “Mo!”

“Serena!” Mo’s big arms enveloped Serena and made her feel small—in a good way. Mo was larger than life in spirit as well in body and it was nice to have someone she could be engulfed by every so often.

Fletch threw his arms around them both, effectively creating a group-hug that neither Serena nor, apparently, Mo, had any interest in taking part. “Get off,” Serena murmured affectionately.

“Mo,” Bernie chuckled, surprise and pleasure ringing through her tone.

Serena opened one arm and allowed her into the hug as well. She felt more than heard Fletch’s indignant snort.

“Aww.” Mo squeezed them both and then pulled back, that crooked grin directed at first Serena, then Bernie. “Nice to see you both. Together.”

Heat crept across Serena’s cheeks but she was pleased to see Bernie’s face absolutely light up in both pride and love. Serena caught her hand and returned the smile.

“Nice to see you too,” Bernie replied, her voice low and sincere.

“Heard you were down in the ED. Nice one.”

“Trauma Facility. Why they couldn’t just keep our unit on AAU, I don’t know, but hey. At least I’m being useful somewhere.”

“Nairobi not your cup of tea?” Mo asked.

Bernie hesitated, then shrugged. Her gaze fell to Serena as she spoke. “Not these days. Holby is home now.”

“Glad to hear it,” Mo said, brightly.

“I just heard the news about Jac,” Serena said, pulling the subject neatly away from their time apart. “I honestly thought…well anyway. It’s wonderful news. We are on our way to Albie’s to put some money behind the bar.”

“Oh, well nice.”

“See you there?” Bernie asked.

“Don’t see why not. Just one though. Tiny human waiting for me at home.”

“You must meet our new grand-niece.”  Bernie’s expression shone with eager happiness. It made Serena want to hug her.

“The famous Guinevere? Next time they visit AAU let me know.”

Serena held a hand up in a goodbye as they left Mo and Fletch outside the lifts.

It was chilly as they stepped out into the car park and then made their way over to the pub. Serena walked close to Bernie’s side, allowing the warmth of her body to shelter her from the slight breeze.

They bought everyone they knew a drink, and sat, as usual, on armchairs whilst they shared a bottle of Serena’s usual. Serena reckoned Bernie’s day had been gentle as well. Her face was unlined and her shoulders relaxed. She kept smoothing the pad of her thumb over Serena’s knuckle in a gentle tickle. The touch made Serena’s insides tingle and her face flush, as did the gleaming look Bernie gave her every time their eyes met.

“The boys want me to take part in this card game night they have,” Bernie said, her voice low over the music.

“Which boys?” Serena smiled amusedly and sipped from her glass.

“Jacob, David and Noel. I’ve a feeling they’re trying to convince Ethan too, but I’m not sure how far they will get.”

“Hmm. Sounds nice.”

“You should see if Fleur is free for the theatre, or something.”

“Trying to pair me off?” Serena chuckled at Bernie’s worried look, and grinned when the look changed to that of relief.

“I think it’s good for us to do things separately sometimes. Means we have something other than work to discuss when we get home.”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Serena replied, lifting Bernie’s hand to kiss her knuckles. “As much as I love spending time with you, I do feel like we’re becoming joined at the hip somewhat.”

Bernie nodded, but leant close to kiss Serena’s cheek. She stayed right by her, her warm breath tickling Serena’s ear. “I prefer to be between yours.”

“I know you do,” Serena whispered, squeezing her fingers and turning so that their lips met. Something about the kiss sung a promise for intimacy later. It made Serena shiver and press her thighs together in delight.

“So when will this games night be happening?”

“Thursday evening. At Noel’s. He’s got a proper table or something. Apparently, he’s quite into his games.”

“Lovely. Well, I’m working until nine and then off on Friday. Don’t lose too much money.”

Bernie’s mouth opened in clear indignation. “You’re obviously forgetting my card-handling prowess.”

“Is that what it is?” Serena smirked and gave her a fake-surprised look.

Bernie pressed her lips together against a smile and let it go. Serena pushed her shoulders up, thanking whoever or whatever was in control of the world that they still had the ability to tease one another after so much had happened.

***

Thursday rolled around soon enough. The wards remained reasonably quiet, the pre-Christmas rush not quite having hit them yet. Bernie arrived at Noel’s flat with a six pack of lager, feeling awfully butch in her boots, jeans and new leather jacket. _Wouldn’t have needed this in Nairobi._ That thought made her smile. She was looking forward to a cold winter. She hadn’t expected to experience one this year.

_So many things I’m going to enjoy. Christmas with Serena and Jason and Greta and the baby. My kids. The ED Christmas Party._

She sighed happily as she wrapped her knuckles on the door. Noel opened it with a flourish. “Ms Wolfe. How lovely.”

“Pleasure is all mine,” Bernie replied, stepping inside as he moved back for her to do so. She held out the beer. “I come bearing gifts.”

Noel’s eyes lit up. “Oh that’s great.”

“And please, call me Bernie?” She bit her lip, hoping for acceptance into the fold.

The grin he gave her suggested she’d already been welcomed into it. “Of course. Sorry.” He nodded briefly. “Bernie.”

It sounded funny from his northern lips. She followed him inside and found she was the last to arrive. After checking her watch, she bit her lip again and accepted a glass in which to pour her beer. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jacob said, patting her on the shoulder. “Pretend it’s a fashion statement.”

Bernie chuckled and nodded. “Yeah okay.”

She and Ethan smiled at one another; a comradery already formed between them, as equals—consultants together. Bernie felt more affinity with Ethan than with Jacob or Noel. The other men had very different backgrounds, whereas Bernie felt Ethan had experienced something similar to her own upbringing and training. He was also fairly softly spoken, a contrast to the brash Noel and Street-wise Jacob. Bernie thought there was a lot more going on underneath the surface, more than Ethan would let on.

The game began as one would expect: jokes and appropriate jibes from the boys. Bernie threw herself into the festivities, kept her hand close to her heart and offered only smug and knowing smiles when they questioned her cards. Beer flowed and Bernie’s honking laughter echoed from the walls of Noel’s living room as the jokes verged on silly.

After a while the cards were forgotten, and the brotherly—if one could call it that, Bernie was most definitely a sister, wasn’t she?—teasing took over. Jacob’s long-over relationship with Connie Beauchamp was top of the list.

“So, what happened with her?” Noel asked, draining his beer glass and reaching for another can.

“She wouldn’t drop the thing with Elle,” Jacob said with a shrug. “She became obsessed with getting Elle fired. And I’ve known Elle since I was a kid. I had to make a choice, and ultimately, so did Connie.”

Bernie stared at him. “How long were you two together?”

“Too long.”

“She’s barely on shift these days,” David said. “Spends most of her time in her office.”

“Makes it easier to avoid her,” Jacob said.

“She’s not so bad,” Ethan said, his eyes narrowed in sympathy.

Noel rubbed the back of his neck. David looked to one side and started whistling.

Jacob cleared his throat and shrugged again. “Anyway. Relationships. More trouble than they’re worth, don’t you think?” He rubbed his beard with his thumb and forefinger. “Especially when there’s a whole host of beautiful ladies out there just waiting to get in line for their turn on the Jacob-love-machine.”

Everyone laughed, even Ethan. His gaze flicked towards Bernie’s and they shared a grin. “I’m good with the one I’ve got,” he said, still laughing.

“Me too,” Bernie agreed, swirling the remains of her beer. “There’s something to be said about a committed relationship.” She sighed happily. “Someone to go home to.”

“Doesn’t the passion fizzle out?” Noel looked genuinely intrigued.

Bernie looked at the table in front of her and felt her cheeks reddening. “Not at all.”

“So, Ms Campbell’s eager to please?” Jacob asked, a touch of hesitation in his voice.

She pouted in thought. “We both are. Believe me, I was more surprised than anyone.” She eyed them all, a little worriedly, then threw caution to the wind. _We’re friends now. They’ve stuck their necks out and invited me to this gathering._ “After being with my husband for twenty-five years, and then another soldier when I was in the RAMC, it was a complete shock to fall for Serena. And a complete shock when I realised, actually, having a relationship doesn’t mean boring nights in with the telly, or lying there like a lemon, wondering whether you’d left the oven on.”

Another bout of laughter and Bernie’s heart soared with relief. This was acceptance, something she hadn’t properly had, at least not with a group of men, since her army days. Even David’s eyes twinkled across at her, a hint of approval contained within them.

“It’s nice to hear than someone past the age of thirty is still enjoying themselves.” Noel winked at her.

“We have a lot of fun,” Bernie agreed, meeting the group with her chin high. “Every day is different with Serena.”

“Like the ED,” Jacob remarked.

Bernie smiled and nodded. “It’s the most fun I’ve had in a relationship. Truly.”

“Any secrets to divulge?” Noel asked.

Bernie laughed. “Um…I suppose being open to things. Not writing things off before you’ve tried them.”

“What kind of things?” David asked.

Bernie’s eyes widened. “Um…you know what, I’m not sure it’s wise for me to go into details.”

“Scared of Serena’s wrath if she even finds out you discussed her sex life with a load of reprobates from the ED?” Jacob asked.

“A bit, yeah,” Bernie replied.

“Perhaps it’s unfair that you’re telling us all of your secrets and we’re keeping our mouths closed.” Noel pushed another can of beer towards her.

“It is actually.” Bernie opened the can and refilled her glass, looking pointedly towards Noel. “Come on, Mr Garcia. Spill.”

He placed his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers. Bernie thought he looked not dissimilar to Hansen when he was deep in thought. “Okay. An exciting story from the red diaries of Noel.” He pursed his lips. “I know.” He pointed at Bernie with a long finger. “I once chatted up a woman in a pub by the name of Deirdre.”

Ethan spat out a mouthful of beer. Jacob raised his eyebrows and then handed Ethan a napkin.

“Hang on, the story continues.” Noel looked smug. “I ended up chatting with her for quite a while, but in the end, I went home and spent a lovely night of…you know…with…”

Everyone was on the edge of their seat.

“…her daughter.” Noel clapped his hands together in a final sort of way and sat back in his chair.

“Her daughter?” Jacob asked, his eyes bulging. “Well, I must admit, I’m impressed.”

Noel waggled his head, pleased.

“Was there much of an age difference?” David asked.

“A decade or so.” Noel shrugged. “She was as tall as me with heels but her hips…” He seemed unable to form the words to describe her, so wound the air with his hands in an idea of curves.

An immediate image of Serena’s curvaceous figure sprang into Bernie’s mind. Her mouth watered. She swallowed a gulp of beer to hide it.

“I do enjoy a curvy woman,” Jacob said contemplatively. “Stick thin never did it for me.” His gaze settled on Bernie. “Oh. No offense.”

“None taken,” Bernie replied with a smile. “I know what you mean though. I certainly feel the same. But…”

They all looked at her, obviously eager for her to continue.

She laughed. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t really…there haven’t been many…” She took another gulp. The cool beer snapped a sense of language back into her. “I think most women are beautiful. Thin, fat, curvy, skinny, tall, short…” She shrugged. “I’ve not exactly been with many but…” Choosing another shrug seemed sensible.

“No one’s perfect,” Ethan said, turning his glass around in his hands and staring into the depths of his beer. “And everyone’s beautiful in their own way.”

The conversation moved on to celebrities and their assets. It remained mostly respectful, for which Bernie was grateful. She wasn’t sure she could handle a misogynistic bunch of men. Not when she felt so at home with them.

“Any more great stories, Noel?” Jacob lifted his eyebrows pointedly.

“Why don’t we play, _I Have Never_ , and find out?”

Bernie held back the desire to roll her eyes, but decided to join in. She figured she’d probably end up sobering up more quickly than the rest of them. _I haven’t really done anything unusual._

“Great idea.” Jacob used a fresh can to fill everyone’s glasses, then pointed at Noel. “I have never…slept with a woman more than ten years younger than me.”

Bernie drank. So did Noel and David.

Everyone stared at David.

He grinned. “What? There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

Jacob gave him a respectful nod. “You’re turn then.”

“I have never…had sex in a public place.”

Bernie hesitated, before sipping as delicately as she could. Noel and Jacob drank.

David pointed to Bernie.

“Um, alright then. I have never had a one night stand.”

Apart from Bernie, everyone drank to that, even Ethan. He lowered his head and Bernie could tell his cheeks were red. She nodded to him.

Ethan nodded. “I have never…had sex with someone of the same sex.”

“Oh, unfair,” Bernie said, taking a huge gulp, just to show she wasn’t embarrassed.

The men laughed.

“How many?” David asked, mischief in his eyes.

“Two.” Bernie stuck her tongue out at him. He reciprocated in kind. “I’m amazed no one else has.”

“Not sex.” Ethan wasn’t looking at any of them.

“You’ve kissed a guy?” Noel’s tone wasn’t judging.

“Once.” Ethan looked back at them all. “What? It was in university and I was really drunk.”

“Was he cute?” Bernie asked, trying not to smile.

“He wasn’t ugly.” Ethan sighed and shook his head. “I’m now only interested in women.”

“Me too,” Bernie said, raising her glass to his. They clinked and then everyone laughed again.

“I have never…” Ethan narrowed his eyes in thought. Bernie could tell he was trying to think of something that would make someone else embarrassed. “…had a three-some.”

Noel, Jacob and David all drank.

“Really?” Bernie blurted out before she could stop herself.

“Yep.” Jacob seemed overly proud.

David was shrugging. “I was on a high. These two women were up for it. They were nice enough.”

“Noel?” Bernie said, gaping.

“One very drunk night of passion.”

“Well, I’m both surprised and impressed, guys,” Bernie said, shaking her head slowly. “And Jacob?”

“Sober. Very pleasant, and I still get emails from them.”

“A couple?” Bernie asked.

“Yep. One of them was curious about being with a guy. They approached me. I wasn’t going to say no, was I?” He puffed out his chest. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Look at what they had on offer.”

“Did you change her mind about men?”

“Not at all.” He sipped his beer. “They were very much in love. But we had a lovely time. I think because we all discussed how it would go first…the girlfriend didn’t want to be with me, just the curious lady. And we stuck to the rules, what they wanted. I was happy to step in.”

“Every man’s dream, I guess.” Bernie chuckled.

“Not your thing then?” Ethan asked.

Bernie blinked. “I’ve never really thought about it.” She looked down at the table, pushing herself to be honest. “I went through such a long time in the closet, hiding that I even liked women…I suppose doing anything like that hasn’t even occurred to me.”

“Would you ever?” David asked.

“I…I don’t know.” She looked up at him and fiddled with the rim of her glass. “I…I’m with Serena now and…she’s…I don’t need anyone else.”

Thoughts swirled in her mind, but she pushed them away, chuckling internally. _Why would I ever want anyone else? Serena is all I need. We have such a wonderful time. Every day is different, every time we’re together it’s so fulfilling._ She sighed deeply, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards as the image of Serena’s deep brown eyes flashed before her. _She’s so beautiful. And I love her so much._ Her heart swelled and she had to close her eyes for a moment.

When she opened them, Ethan was smiling at her affectionately, but the other three were chatting away. Apparently the topic had moved on. The game was over.

They chatted and joked for another hour or so. When Bernie’s eyes began to droop, and the occasional yawn made her stretch, she placed her hands on the table top and sat up straight. “Right. I reckon I’m going to fall asleep at this table if I don’t go home now.”

“I’m getting there myself,” Noel agreed, rubbing his hands together. “I’m chucking you all out.”

David pointed towards the door. “Mind if I kip here?”

“No problem.” Noel stood and began gathering up the empty cans and glasses.

Bernie gave him a hand, bringing as many through to the kitchen as she could. “Thanks so much for inviting me, Noel.”

He opened a cupboard and indicated the cans could go into the bag inside. “It was a pleasure.”

“I don’t really go to many social events, unless they’re with Serena or Jason or…” She smiled, a feeling of satisfaction settling her stomach. “It was a fun evening.”

“We have them once in a while.” Noel put the glasses in the dishwasher and closed it. “I’ll let you know when the next one is.”

“Brilliant. I look forward to it.”

Noel’s flat wasn’t far from Bernie and Serena’s leafy detached, and the walk was refreshing. A feeling of coming home made Bernie’s whole body warm and tingly as she stepped through the front door and hung her key on the hook next to Serena’s. A deep sigh expanded her ribs. The house was still and dark. It was past midnight. Serena was most definitely asleep.

Bernie crept into their bedroom, closing the door as quietly as she could. After undressing quickly, she slipped underneath the duvet and moulded herself to Serena’s back.

Serena’s back rose and fell in a happy murmur.

Short hair tickled Bernie’s nose as she pressed close to Serena’s back and slid an arm around her waist. She bent her knees behind Serena’s and snuggled against her. “I love you,” she whispered.

Serena made a small noise of agreement, before her breathing became steady again, and she drifted back to sleep.

 _This is it. This is where I want to be. Safe and warm with Serena._ It was desperately comfortable and wonderfully soft. Bernie couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during series 20, episode 48 (yes, where it all went wrong. However, I’ve put it right!).

The car came to a stop. Bernie waited.

Serena let out a huge sigh and rested her head against the headrest. Her eyes fluttered closed.

“You all right?” Bernie murmured

Another sigh, quickly followed by a groan. “Yes. CQC.”

“I know.” Bernie smiled reassuringly and squeezed Serena’s arm. “It’ll be okay.”

“Will it?” Serena opened her eyes and turned to look at Bernie.

“Of course. Well oiled machine.”

Warmth flickered across Serena’s features and some of the worry lines smoothed. She placed her hand atop Bernie’s and passed her thumb over her knuckles. “Thank you.”

Bernie shrugged, figuring it was time to actually leave the car, and unclipped her seatbelt.

They walked together towards the entrance, their fingers linking tightly between them. Before they reached the door, Bernie tugged on Serena’s hand, bringing her close and to a stop. She tilted her head, lifted her chin and pressed her lips gently to Serena’s.

The smile that spread over Serena’s face was affectionate. “That’s made everything a lot better.”

“And I know you’re worrying about Jason’s wedding as well.” Bernie pointed at her mock-sternly. “Don’t. I’m here.”

After a nod of submission, Serena started them walking towards the door again. “You _are_ here.”

They separated at the lift, with a lingering look passing between them and a promise to attempt lunch together. Bernie made her way to the ED, her bag patting against her hip with each step.

“Ms Wolfe.” Connie approached her with the determination and fire of a charging bull.

Bernie felt her body shrinking back. The only difference between Connie and Serena was that Connie’s ferocious temperament didn’t turn her on.

“You still haven’t completed any of your elearning.”

Bernie tried not to groan. “Yeah. I _was_ getting to that.” She made her way towards the locker room to change.

Connie was at her heels. “You’re doing it today. Find a PC and sit your backside in it.”

“But…”

“No. Elearning. If the CQC discovers one of my senior staff members hasn’t even completed their mandatory training, the entire department will be even more scrutinised than usual during its inspection.”

Bernie hung her head.

“So, hop to it. The trauma bay will have to cope without you.”

She left with the sweep of a floaty blouse and the clicking of frighteningly tall heels.

The groan Bernie had held back made its way into the quiet room as the door closed behind Connie. She put her fingertips to her forehead and sagged. Gathering herself, she changed quickly into her scrubs— _no need to not be ready if they need me_ —and jogged out of the locker room to find a computer.

Ten minutes later, and after discovering no free stations on the entire ED, Bernie phoned AAU. “Is the consultant’s office occupied?” she asked Donna, who had picked up after the third ring.

“Hi Bernie. Ummm let me see…” The line scuffled for a moment, whilst presumably Donna moved as close she could to the office door to take a look. “Yep. Serena’s logged on, but the other one is free.”

“Brilliant. I’m being badgered about my elearning. Been a bit lax, I’ll admit.”

“You’re coming down for a visit? How lush.”

Bernie chuckled. “Reckon Serena will mind?”

“She’s pretty busy with the CQC woman and with Dr Faulkner.”

_Oh, so Leah’s back._

“I think you’d be a welcome distraction.”

“I’ll see you in a few ticks then.”

The smile was evident in Donna’s voice. “Okay. I’ll make you a cuppa if you like?”

“You’re an angel.” Bernie’s mouth watered at the thought of caffeine. _Something wet and hot._ Her face flushed, but she pushed the thought away and checked she had everything she needed, before making her way to her old haunt.

The entire AAU staff were gathered around the nurse’s station. Serena was in mid-speech, her fingers fiddling in and out of each other, but her was face relaxed. Bernie tried to move stealthily; tried not to break Serena’s focus as she spoke with her team. She could see Donna and Xavier whispering and wondered what was going on between them.

“…and we have absolutely nothing to hide.”

Bernie managed to scoot quickly behind the group with her head lowered, without drawing attention to herself. She settled into the chair she used to occupy and pushed until she was in place under the desk.

“Ah, right, so that’s all, thank you ev-everyone. Back to it!” Serena’s gaze fell on the office and her expression went from confusion to cheer as she apparently realised Bernie’s presence.

A loud clapping sliced the atmosphere. Bernie looked up from getting her things out of her bag and saw Leah looking rather embarrassed, her hands still poised to clap. Bernie hid a smile and watched as Serena flushed, her hand behind her neck.

“Great speech boss, just what we needed to hear I think.” Leah had moved close to Serena and the cheek in her tone was evident.

Serena looked over at Bernie, stuttered over herself and sent Leah off to deal with a patient.

Leah gave her a knowing smile and left her side.

 

***

 

It was fun watching Serena show around the lady from the CQC. With her pompous and professional hat severely attached to her head, Serena’s back was straight, her hands constantly clasped. Bernie’s heart swelled with pride as she watched. Something gathered between her legs, but she grinned to herself before pushing the feeling away. _Get a grip, you horny thing._ She had training to do, and as monotonous as Mental Health Act training was, she needed to complete it before Connie would let her do any more clinical work.

Serena popped her head in briefly around lunchtime and gave Bernie a smile.

“I’m just doing some training,” Bernie explained.

“Lovely to see you.” Serena’s voice was practically a purr.

It made Bernie all hot and bothered again. “And you.”

“She’s cut me fingers off!”

Serena didn’t turn immediately, she simply closed her eyes and growled.

Bernie chuckled. “Need a hand?”

One dark eyebrow lifted in Bernie’s direction.

“You know what I mean.”

“Come on then,” Serena said, sighing and stepping towards the shouting man on the trolley.

Bernie locked her computer, hoping against hope that the training program would remember where she had got to, and followed Serena onto the ward.

The man’s story was almost comical. Serena held out a hand to Bernie when Leah inserted an IV into the man’s arm and flushed it through. A sense of curiosity came over Bernie as she stepped around the bed to inspect Leah’s work. Nodding, she gave Leah a smile.

Leah’s cheeks visibly reddened and she dropped her gaze to the sheets around the man’s legs. After flicking her eyes up once, she smiled back, before connecting the giving set to the IV.

_Interesting._

Serena was studying the patient’s X-ray.

“Vanessa’s got them. My wife.”

“Your fingers?” Bernie asked, moving behind Serena to look at the X-ray over her shoulder.

“Hello darling.” A woman with hair bleached even more than Bernie’s arrived, lifting a zip bag with something that resembled carrots inside it. “Looking for these?”

Serena and Bernie exchanged wide-eyed looks. Bernie could tell they were thinking the same thing.

The next few minutes consisted of all three of them attempting to convince Vanessa to return her husband’s fingers to him. Even Leah’s calm and collected reasoning failed. The woman obviously had a vendetta and planned on seeing it through. Especially when the husband’s phone rang and Leah inadvertently revealed who the caller was. The bag had been within Serena’s grasp. Literally. Bernie could taste the annoyance coming off her.

“Well, we can’t do anything for you until those fingers are returned.” Serena made a movement with her head that indicated Leah should follow Vanessa.

Leah nodded eagerly and scampered off.

Bernie attempted a look of sympathy towards the husband, but she reckoned it was marred by the irritation swirling in her gut. She and Serena retreated to the office and Bernie reopened the program she had been working through. She grinned when she realised she could continue where she had left off.

“Mental Health Act?” Serena was fanning herself and sweat glistened on her brow.

“Yeah. Click click click.” Bernie tilted her head to the side. “Hot flush?”

“Bloody menopause.” Serena grumbled and reached for the bottle of water she’d brought with her. She pressed it to her cheek, then her forehead, and let out a noise usually confined to the intimacy of their bedroom.

Bernie ran her tongue over her lips and tried not to imagine Serena naked. _Oh for goodness sakes, Wolfe. Get a grip._

They were interrupted by Dr Chowdhury, who apparently, despite her F2 status, was not able to take basic measures to keep her patient from vomiting.

Bernie was left alone in the office and forced herself to focus on the screen and legislation in front of her.

Finally, Leah appeared with Vanessa, both of them looking downcast. The fingers had been thrown away. Bernie stayed where she was and watched from the office, noting the way Leah scuttled off to find the fingers the minute Serena gave her the chance.

 

***

 

Two cups of tea and a lot of clicking later, Bernie had finished all of her elearning. She checked the clock and was surprised to discover it was practically dinnertime. A sandwich was ceremoniously placed in front of her, and when she looked up, she found Serena smiling down at her with glinting eyes. “Eat. I’m going to go help Dr Faulkner look for these fingers.”

“Bit beneath your job role, isn’t it?”

Lines appeared between Serena’s brows. “I feel bad.”

Bernie touched the back of her hand. “Don’t. You’re kind to want to help her.”

“Can’t be the most delightful job.”

“Glove up,” Bernie said needlessly.

“See you in a while.”

Bernie ate her sandwich, watching Serena’s hips swinging out of the ward with miserable determination.

She wondered about the younger doctor. She wondered where her lack of confidence stemmed from. She wondered what had happened in her life that she constantly sought approval from those above her. And then Bernie wondered whether it was just Serena that Leah sought approval from. _Maybe it’s this crush she has. She certainly seems quite enamoured with her. I wonder if I need to mark my territory._

Tension bubbled within her, but she, yet again, pushed away the emotion. It wasn’t the time or the place to be getting all possessive. Even if it was a fun game to play in the bedroom, it certainly wasn’t appropriate for Bernie to throw her weight around at work. And Serena didn’t need her being all sullen and defending her. She could do that all by herself.

She sipped the third cup of tea Donna had brought and sat back in her desk chair. She swivelled the chair side to side for a moment, her brain mulling over things. She imagined Serena and Leah down by the clinical waste bins, knee and elbow deep in bloody bandages and sputum-smeared tissue. Such things didn’t bother her these days but she took a small thrill in imagining Leah gagging at the sight. She may be a little older than their usual F1s but she was still fairly green. _Perhaps she’s even literally green._ She wondered whether she’d throw up.

Leah and Serena returned, their faces sorrowful. The wife seemed desperate to make amends. Donna, luckily, came to the rescue, the fingers having appeared almost miraculously. Amid further threats from Vanessa, Serena gathered her team and prepped the man for theatre.

Due to the elearning having taken the entirety of her shift, Bernie took a trip down to the ED to collect her things and got changed ready for home. She figured Serena would be a while in theatre, so decided to wait in her office on AAU until she came out. It was dark, with the lamp on rather than the overhead lights. Her eyes drooped, but she busied herself with a few research papers on the web, determined to wait patiently and to use her time wisely. She already felt like she’d lost a day.

A groan of exhausted irritability alerted her to Serena’s return. Bernie looked out of the office window and saw Serena leaning against the hallway wall, her face flushed and her cap still in her hand. _Poor love._ She was about to stand, to go out to her and give her a cuddle, or whatever Serena might need, but she stopped when she saw Leah skipping up to Serena.

“Hey. How’s it going?” Leah was standing awfully close, but Serena didn’t seem affected.

“Painstakingly slowly. Mr Williams is man-splaining his way through the entire realignment.”

Anger gritted Bernie’s teeth. She briefly imagined going into theatre and giving Mr Williams a piece of her mind. Or maybe a punch in the face.

“Well, I dug this out of my locker.” It appeared as though Leah had produced a hand-held fan. “Thought it might help.”

Serena’s cheeks pinked and she exhaled on a nervous laugh. They were still standing very close together. Serena wasn’t moving away.

“Maybe I could get a runner to hold it over me in theatre,” Serena said, her voice soft, affectionate even.

Bernie furrowed her eyebrows and continued to watch.

“Sorry. Silly.”

“No, no. It’s sweet of you. Thank you.” Serena seemed coy, shy. She gave Leah a smile and a small nod.

“Also, I feel like I need to apologise.”

 _Yeah. Apologise for giving my girlfriend gifts and making her uncomfortable?_ Bernie twisted her mouth in interest and stood so that she could watch them more easily through the gap in the blinds.

“Whatever for?” Serena’s tone had dropped. Maybe she was tired. _She looks tired._

“You really wanted things to run smoothly, in front of the CQC, and I messed that right up.”

“Oh, don’t be daft.”

“Well, if I can help with anything, let me know.”

Was it possible that they were standing even more closely together? Bernie strode on instinct out of the office and towards them both.

Leah stepped back and flushed. Serena’s eyes widened. “Bernie. I thought you’d gone home.”

“Thought I’d wait for you.” Bernie shrugged and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Um…d’you need anything?” She tried to pull sincerity and deep care onto her face.

The relief on Serena’s suggested she’d managed it. “A cold shower. A nice glass of wine. A cuddle on the sofa.” She was pouting slightly in jest at Bernie. It appeared as though Leah had been forgotten.

Bernie smirked and indicated the fan still clutched between Serena’s hands. “Shall I go dig a big one out for your office? I’m sure I can use my unending charms to get on the good side of Estates.”

“Oh, you should have a big one, definitely.” Leah gestured towards the small fan, her embarrassment at its insignificance very clear. “I’ll get rid of that one for you.” She took it from Serena and waved it around. “I’ll just stuff it into the back of my locker.” She fled to the locker room.

A sense of achievement flooded Bernie’s entire being. “You back in yet? Or have you got time for a cold glass of water?”

“Twenty minutes,” Serena sighed. “And water of any temperature sounds like heaven.”

“Sit down; I’ll get it out of the cooler.”

Serena nodded and headed into the office. Bernie got her as big a glass as she could and set it down in front of her on the desk. Then she sat on the new sofa, her elbows on her knees. “You’re really struggling today, aren’t you?”

“Oh I’m all right,” Serena said bravely, her throat working as she swallowed big gulps of the fresh water. “It’s just a lot of things all at once. That bloody wife buggering off with his fingers. And the CQC. And me feeling like I’m melting constantly.”

“I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.” Bernie chest ached.

Serena took another sip and smiled down at her. “Sourcing me a desk fan would be excellent. I know they are few and far between around here.”

“Not in November.” Bernie folded her arms in a satisfied kind of way.

Serena sent her a wink. “Clever girl.”

Bernie stood. “I’ll go find one now. Then when you’re out of theatre, you’ll be able to languish under it for as long as you like.”

“You’re amazing, d’you know that? My darling Bernie.”

“I love you. What can I say?”

Bernie spent the next hour or so traipsing around the hospital, trying to find a fan. She absolutely was not going to give up before she had found one, in full working order, and not covered in any type of bodily fluid or even a hint of dust.

Eventually, she located the perfect specimen, hidden at the back of a physiotherapy cupboard, as things often were, and jammed between an old hoist and a broken wheelchair. She carried it triumphantly down to AAU and set it up on Serena’s desk just as Serena was finishing speaking with her patient, who now had four re-attached fingers and had reconciled with his wife.

Serena entered the office with a haggard look on her face. Her expression smoothed somewhat when she took in the present Bernie had brought. “Oh, you found one.”

“Told you I would.” Bernie pulled Serena’s chair back for her. “Sit. Luxuriate.”

“Oh, my darling Bernie,” Serena sighed, dropping into her chair and leaning backwards.

Bernie turned the fan on and smiled as the moving air made Serena’s hair flutter.

Serena pushed her shoulders back and a look of ecstasy shimmied over her face. “My darling, _darling_ Bernie.”

“Today has been one of those days, hmm?”

“Yes.” She rolled her head on the backrest and smiled at Bernie through lowered lashes. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

“Just like old times.”

A knock rang out. They both sat up. Leah entered, looking decrepit. “Hey. Have you got a minute?”

Bernie moved to stand, but Leah waved her back down.

“Oh, it’s fine Ms Wolfe I…”

“Would you settle for a second?”

“You’re busy, I’ll come back.” Leah started to turn away.

“No, it’s…it’s fine. Please.” Serena stood and went to sit on the sofa.

Bernie stayed in her office chair, the chair she used to occupy every day. The lamp was still on, casting a dim orange glow over both Leah and Serena’s faces. They looked very tired. A wave of sympathy washed over her, for the both of them. _Today has been trying._

“Take a seat,” Serena suggested.

Leah closed the office door and sighed deeply as she sat next to Serena. “I just wanted to say sorry about today. Firstly losing the fingers, and then the bleed out.”

Bernie frowned at them both in confusion.

Serena noticed her expression. “Dr Chowdhury had an actively bleeding ulcer that we had to perform a gastroscopy on. She managed to clip it. We ended up sending Mr Y up to ICU.”

“I miss out on all the fun.”

Serena’s gaze flicked towards the fan. “It was worth it for the spoils of your labour though.” She was giving Bernie an affectionate smile. Bernie couldn’t help smiling back.

Leah stared at her hands, her thumb running back and forth in a nervous movement. “I’m sorry, there was just so much blood and I…froze.”

Serena turned her attention back to Leah. With a shrug, she said, “It happens.”

“I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”

“Now then, that’s _quite_ enough of that.” A spark had ignited in Serena. “Good doctors are in short supply and I need you to help me keep this ship from sinking.” Serena looked back and forth between them. “Both of you.”

Bernie felt her chest tighten with pleasure.

“Now, more than ever.” Serena nudged Leah with her shoulder, obviously trying to prompt a laugh. They exchanged a soft smile. “Besides, with Bernie downstairs more often than not, who else is going to help me mop my fevered brow?”

Bernie chuckled. _She really does have a crush on Serena._ The way Leah was smiling shyly and allowing herself to be gently teased was endearing.

“Thought I was made of sterner stuff.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Bernie said. “Everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes, especially when they’re an F1. It’s normal.”

“Did you?” Leah asked, her gaze hopeful.

“Course. Well, maybe for a minute and a half.”

Serena laughed and Leah joined in. “So, enough of this, Dr Faulkner. Okay?” Serena nudged her again. “This wavering confidence, it’s unbecoming.”

Leah and Serena looked at one another. Something passed between them, something deep and meaningful and surprising. A heartbeat later, Serena had looked away, and then up at Bernie. Her cheeks were bright red.

Leah stood hastily and clutched her bag to her shoulder. “Anyway, I should be getting home. Thanks for the pep talk, both.” She turned her attention to Bernie. “Um…it was nice to see you for more than a second. You should come visit more often.”

“Shouldn’t she?” Serena agreed, a wide smile tugging her face and brightening her eyes.

Bernie spent a moment looking between the two of them before smiling as well. “I’d like that. I’ll ask the boss.”

Leah grinned and pointed towards Serena. “This woman here is most definitely the boss.” She dropped her voice a little. “Of both of us.” And she was gone, her silk scarf fluttering behind her.

 

***

 

“Want me to drive home?” Bernie leant over the roof of the car before getting in, trying to make eye contact with Serena, who appeared to be staring into space.

“Hmm?” Serena blinked and looked up. “Oh.” The suggestion of a smile brightened her face. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Been a longer day for you than it has for me,” Bernie said as they switched sides and Bernie took the keys from Serena.

“Yeah.” Bernie watched her get into the passenger side and do up her seatbelt. Serena stretched a little and then sighed deeply, relaxing into the seat.

“Let’s get you home.”

No answer. Serena’s eyes seemed glazed over, but she didn’t appear upset or worried, so Bernie let her have some space. _It’s been a very long, busy day._

As she drove, she pondered over—not the trauma cases or elearning drivel that would have stressed out a normal person, Bernie reckoned—but the interactions between Serena and her F1. Bernie was starting to wonder whether this ‘irritation’ surrounding Leah was something else—perhaps something Serena didn’t particularly want to deal with. A discomfort, maybe, with the intense way Leah looked at her. Although, Bernie had to admit, the looks Serena had been giving Leah weren’t exactly clinical. She wondered.

Once they were home, and she was content with the fact that Serena wasn’t going to be talking anytime soon, Bernie set about boiling the kettle and putting teabags into cups. She heard Serena shuffle into the living room and made sure there was an extra sugar in her tea, before carrying them both through.

She wordlessly held out the mug. It took her a second or two, but then Serena looked up and smiled. “Thank you, darling.”

Bernie smiled back. “You’re calling me that a lot today.”

“Am I?” Serena seemed in a dream world.

“Are…” Bernie sat beside her, but then shifted to the end of the sofa so there was a little space between them. “Are you okay?”

“I…” Serena stared into her mug and Bernie imagined she could see her brown eyes misting up with the rising steam. “I’m fine.”

A bark of a laugh sprang forth before Bernie could stop it. “You’re lying.”

Serena’s head snapped up and for a moment, Bernie thought she was going shout at her. Then Serena’s face fell and she blew out a breath between pursed lips.

Bernie pulled her most sympathetic and affectionate expression on, and tilted her head one-way. “D’you want me to guess?”

Serena took a sip of her tea, perhaps to give herself time, and then shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what the matter is, or you don’t know if you want me to guess?”

“The…” When Serena looked up again and saw Bernie’s smirk, she grinned back. “Oh, you.” She batted at Bernie’s thigh.

Satisfied that Serena was relaxing—and knowing that the more she teased, the more comfortable Serena would feel—Bernie held up her free hand. “Okay, okay. Don’t cut off any digits.”

Serena laughed. “Rather morbid, but funny.”

Bernie nodded her agreement.

“Right. Well. Okay.” Serena took another sip of tea and placed her cup on the coffee table. She clasped her hands. “It’s Leah.”

“What’s Leah?” Bernie said quietly. When Serena glanced at her, Bernie gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

“She’s…” Serena huffed and closed her mouth. Then she opened it again. “She’s…” She shook her head.

“She still fancies you.”

“Is it that obvious?” Serena’s cheeks had turned red. She put her hand to one of them. “What am I saying? Of course it’s obvious.”

Bernie hummed affectionately. “I can tell there’s more, though.”

“What d’you mean?” Serena asked, eyeing her.

“I can tell you…you feel the same.”

“Excuse me?” Serena’s voice had dropped, a note of danger rumbling from her chest.

Suddenly, it was Bernie that felt nervous. “You…you fancy her too.”

“I do not.”

“Yes you do.”

“Do not.”

“Okay, less of the school girl talk, Serena.” Bernie tried to smile, but the looks being thrown at her were cutting deep. “Admit it.”

“No.” Serena stood and started to pace, her hands rubbing in and out of each other. “It’s an absolutely ludicrous suggestion.”

“Serena, I can tell. I’m not blind.” Bernie stood also and went to her. She reached out, but Serena moved away, as if Bernie’s touch would burn her. “And it’s okay.”

“How the bloody hell is it okay?” Serena nearly shrieked, then clamped a hand over her mouth.

“At least you’re not denying it now,” Bernie said, relieved.

Serena scuffed the carpet with her slippered toe.

“Honestly. It’s okay.”

“I love you,” Serena mumbled.

“I know. And I love you too. Very much.”

“But…I shouldn’t be looking at other people.” With her gaze trained by her feet, Serena seemed like she was talking to the thick carpet. “Should I? I’m in a relationship with you.”

“And that means you should only ever be attracted to me?”

Serena stared at her. “Doesn’t it?”

Bernie laughed. “God no. You’re bound to have your head turned now and then. I sometimes do.”

“You…you fancy other women?”

Bernie nodded slowly. “Sometimes.”

“Oh.” Serena folded her arms, but finally looked at Bernie with shy curiosity. “I don’t… I don’t like that I think other people…other women…are attractive.”

“Why not?”

“It reminds me of Edward’s wandering eye.”

Bernie went towards her and this time Serena didn’t avoid her. “I’m sorry it does that.”

“But I wouldn’t ever do anything. And I do trust _you_ not to act on any feelings you have. I mean, you wouldn’t would you?” Serena didn’t seem unsure, but Bernie answered her anyway.

“I wouldn’t.” She stroked Serena’s cheek. “And feeling attracted to someone isn’t the same as sleeping with them. I suppose we’re all allowed to appreciate the way other people look.”

“Well, of course. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that women are far too critical about one another. What we need more of is women telling other women they’re pretty.”

“That would be a very nice world to live in.”

“Yes.” Serena looked up and took Bernie’s hand from her face, holding it carefully between the two of her own. “So…are you sure you don’t mind?”

Bernie shrugged and shyness overcame her for a moment. “I’m not saying I’m not jealous. She’s been making it quite plain how she feels about you. But I don’t mind that you think she’s pretty. I mean…she _is_ pretty.”

“You…you reckon?”

“She’s very pretty.”

They smiled softly at one another and Bernie made the first move to hold Serena gently, running her palms up and down her sides. The deep inhale that caused made Bernie hum.

“So, who else do you fancy?” Serena asked tentatively.

Bernie made out she was thinking hard. “Well, there is this one woman.”

“Hmm?” Serena wound a curl of Bernie’s hair around her finger. “Who is she?”

“She’s about five-seven, short hair, going grey but beautifully so. Curvaceous, strong-willed. Big brown eyes I could get lost in.”

“I feel quite jealous,” Serena breathed, but the glint in her eye told Bernie she knew exactly who Bernie was describing.

“Think she likes me too,” Bernie said, leaning down the inch between their heights to capture Serena’s lips with her own.

Serena murmured her appreciation against Bernie’s lips and sunk her fingers into Bernie’s hair.

As short nails scratched against her scalp, the arousal that Bernie had kept at bay all day flushed right through her body. She gasped and pulled Serena closer. They kissed more and more, and Bernie started to get breathless. She pulled away, but only to bury her nose in the short hair by Serena’s ear. “I fancy you the most.”

“That’s nice to hear.” Serena’s voice was a lot stronger than Bernie’s, but Bernie knew she wasn’t any less affected as a shiver passed through her.

“E-everything about you t-turns me on.” Anxiety clenched her stomach, but Bernie lifted her head courageously and looked Serena in the eye.

“You too.”

They quietened, simply smiling at one another. Bernie pressed her hips against Serena’s a few times, causing them to begin a rocking sort of dance. That made them laugh aloud and clutch at each other. “So, that explains why you’re so uncomfortable in young Leah’s presence?” Bernie asked, tickling the skin at the collar of Serena’s blouse.

“I suppose.” Serena sighed. “I didn’t want to like her. I didn’t want to feel like that about someone that wasn’t you.”

“I’m so glad we talked about this,” Bernie said. “And thank you for being honest.”

“Thank you for not hating me.”

Bernie kissed her, cupping her jaw and turning her head to the side. “You’re very welcome,” she said when they parted.

After turning to look at the clock, Serena sighed. “Let’s finish our tea.”

Bernie nodded and went back to the sofa. She pulled her feet up and stuffed them down the side of Serena’s hip when she sat next to her. Then she lifted her mug to her lips and wiggled her eyebrows over the rim.

That earned her a chuckle. Despite her relaxed demeanour, there was still a sheen of perspiration over Serena’s forehead.

Trailing a fingertip against Serena’s ankle, which Serena had lifted onto the sofa as well, Bernie drunk her tea and smiled.

“I must admit,” Serena began slowly, small lines appearing between her eyebrows, “it throws up quite a few…difficulties.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Well…” Serena paused and chewed her lip for a second. “She’s my subordinate. I’m her line manager. I’m responsible for her, as well as signing her off on her placement.”

“You’re worried your feelings will get in the way of you being unbiased?”

“Hmm. Not exactly.” Serena raised an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure I can detach myself from those gorgeous blue eyes.” She looked a little nervous at the admission, so Bernie nodded and brightened her smile, indicating it was okay for Serena to talk about it in detail.

“So, what worries you?”

“My feelings are reciprocated. I don’t want to…lead her on.”

Bernie stroked just above Serena’s sock. Her soft skin was peppered with short hairs that Bernie liked to tickle sometimes. “I suppose…you could be honest with her?”

“Tell her that I’ve got the _hots_ for her?” Serena snorted. “I think that blurs the line between inappropriate and downright insanity.”

Bernie chuckled. “Okay. The alternative is to make sure she doesn’t find out.”

A sigh swirled out of Serena. “Shame there isn’t an easy option.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t want her thinking we have anything special. She’s very sweet, but…I mean she knows I’m with you. I am _absolutely_ yours.”

“I think it was quite clear from watching you two today that she would like to be more, but won’t push it.”

Serena’s worried gaze met Bernie’s. “Poor thing. Bringing me that tiny fan and then having you turn up with a huge thing that completely trumps hers.”

Bernie shrugged. “I hope it wasn’t too obvious that I was staking my claim.”

Serena laughed. “You couldn’t have been more obvious if you’d urinated in the corner of the office.”

Bernie put a hand to her eyes. “And we always hope we are separate from our animal sides.”

“We do.” Serena sent her an affectionate smile. “Maybe I like that about you, though.”

“I hate the thought that I’m possessive.”

“You’re not possessive. Just loyal. And passionate. And that’s good.”

Bernie’s cheeks burned. “Okay enough. I believe you.”

Calm seemed to drift between them. Bernie couldn’t help smiling and tracing patterns across Serena’s ankle. Her tea was warm and comforting as she took a last sip.

Serena fanned herself, her expression twisting into something akin to discomfort.

A pang of empathy tugged Bernie’s insides. “Still suffering?”

“Mmm.” Serena wriggled on the sofa and drained her tea. “I feel like I’m being attacked by a furnace.”

“Once we get upstairs, you’re having a nice cool shower, and an early night.”

“It’s ten o’clock already, Bernie.”

Bernie shrugged. “We’ve both had an arduous day. Although yours, I admit, was far more exciting.”

“Give me reattaching fingers over elearning any day.”

“Tell me about it.” Bernie rubbed Serena’s foot and went back to her cup of tea.

 

***

 

Bernie allowed Serena the use of the bathroom first. Shower noises and the occasional hum of relief drifted through, settling Bernie’s anguish. _I hate that she’s uncomfortable. I wish I could make her feel better._ She busied herself with making the bed more menopause-friendly; she folded up the duvet, then gathered a brushed cotton sheet and a fleece blanket, so that Serena would have layers to throw off if she wished, and made sure they both had clean pyjamas. She turned on the small fan on the bedside table, angling it towards the bed, to get the air moving. The window squeaked as she pushed it open a crack.

Serena came out, her hair wet and a towel wrapped around her. She kissed Bernie’s cheek as Bernie slid past.

Bernie showered quickly and came out a minute or two later, her towel abandoned on the hook in the en suite. She found Serena standing in front of the full-length mirror, a contemplative expression on her face. Her skin seemed dry, but that appeared to be as far as she had got; she had thrown it over the back of the chair and was looking at her own reflection with furrowed eyebrows.

After sliding up behind her, Bernie tickled Serena’s shoulder with her nose. “Mmm. You smell nice.”

Serena chuckled and wrapped her arms around Bernie’s which wound around her waist from behind. “Tea tree and lavender.”

“Delicious.” Bernie began to kiss her neck, soft and slow brushes of her lips, and was pleased to see goosebumps rising on Serena’s skin.

“Bernie d’you think…” Tension pulled Serena’s shoulders.

“What?” Bernie stopped her assault and caught Serena’s gaze in the mirror.

“My body. D’you think I look old?”

Bernie blinked. Then, not one for giving Serena unthinking or automatic compliments, she trailed her gaze down Serena’s reflection.

She took in her shoulders, the way her arms curved supplely as they rested on Bernie’s. She took in Serena’s breasts, still full if creased underneath from age and, Bernie supposed, having a child. Her nipples were dark pink, puckered in the cool air of the bedroom. Stretch marks across her soft tummy, when Bernie lifted her hands to cup Serena’s shoulders and get a better look. Hips, wider than her own, shapely legs, the delectable dip of her waist.

“When I look at you,” Bernie began quietly, “I don’t see age. I see beauty.”

“Rose tinted glasses, hmm?”

“I just don’t see an old woman when I look at you.” Bernie turned her head so she could look at Serena directly, rather than her reflection. “I don’t even see someone weathered by the menopause, although logically, I acknowledge that it’s a pain in the rear for you right now.”

“Hmm.” Serena stroked a fingertip against the back of Bernie’s hand on her shoulder.

“We’ve both got wrinkles, haven’t we? We’ve both got marks and scars and lines where we didn’t have them twenty years ago. But…” Bernie shrugged. “Every line on your body is beautiful. So, to answer your question, although I think I already have been honest with you: no, I don’t think you look old.”

Serena went back to looking at the mirror, although her eyes seemed to trail not only over her own body, but also Bernie’s.

Moving to one side, Bernie kept one hand on Serena’s neck, but considered her own reflection, now revealed. “I don’t like comparing us. We’re very different in how our bodies are proportioned.”

“I know.” Serena sighed, but then seemed to brighten, her lips tugging upwards. “I like that.”

“I like it too.”

“I just…Leah’s attracted to me. To this.”

“Don’t objectify yourself,” Bernie murmured, stepped back behind her and slipping both arms around her, holding her close and pressing her naked front to Serena’s smooth back. “There’s a lot more about you that’s also attractive. You’re voice, your courage, your sense of humour, your intelligence.”

“You’re waxing lyrically, Wolfe.” Serena grinned, but the appreciation was evident in her eyes.

“Sorry. I get poetic when you’re naked.”

They stood together in front of the mirror. Bernie carefully started kissing Serena’s neck again and this time, the tension did not return to Serena’s shoulders. Quite the opposite. Bernie hummed in delight as Serena melted in her arms, snuggling her backside against Bernie’s hips.

“Look at you. You’re so beautiful.” Bernie was whispering into her hair. “You’re skin is so smooth. Your curves are sexy as hell. Just looking at you makes me…” The word caught in her throat.

“What does it make you?” Serena blinked owlishly at Bernie in the mirror.

“Tingly,” Bernie breathed, her hands sliding downwards to trail over Serena’s breasts. “Wet.”

“I make you wet?”

“Have you not noticed?”

Serena chuckled and arched her back a little, as Bernie cupped her breasts. “I think we should get into bed.”

“I think we should stay right here.”

Serena’s eyebrows rose. “Do you?”

“D’you think you’d be comfortable watching?”

“Um.” Anxiety flashed over Serena’s features briefly, but she lifted her chin and grinned. “I’ll give it a try.”

“Told you you were brave,” Bernie murmured, her hands cupping and squeezing and her thumbs making little circles around Serena’s nipples. When she made contact with the hard nubs, Serena moaned and stretched her head back.

“Oh darling,” she whispered.

Bernie pushed a knee between Serena’s legs and continued her assault of Serena’s left nipple whilst tickling the fingertips of the other downwards. A flush crept up Serena’s chest and Bernie loosened her grip. “Tell me if you get too hot.”

“I’m okay.” Serena stretched backwards again and her hips made a little circle. Bernie could see the muscles of her thighs tensing. “That open window and fan are helping enormously.”

“Good.” Bernie trailed a line down from Serena’s sternum, right to her navel, and circled a few times, kissing her neck gently.

It was as if Serena wasn’t sure what to do with her hands. She rested one over Bernie’s on her breast and lifted the other to touch her own shoulder. Then she cupped Bernie’s jaw and turned her so that they could kiss.

Serena’s lips were soft and pliant. Bernie sunk into them, surrounded by Serena, her smell, her skin and the way she tasted. Minty fresh and clean. She slid her tongue across Serena’s bottom lip and relished the gasp that caused.

The pelvis against hers twitched and Serena stretched again, pushing her hips forwards, as if she was seeking out Bernie’s hand, which remained by her navel.

Confidence surged inside Bernie. “Do I make you wet?”

Serena nodded and they both laughed breathily at the words. Pride and love and a hundred other warm feelings rose up in Bernie. She rubbed at Serena’s nipple with her left, whilst her right started to stray downwards.

Wiry hairs tickled her fingertips. She drew tender little patterns with them, tangling a little, enjoying how it felt to touch Serena there. She made little brushing motions with her thumb, as if she were neatening them down and over Serena’s mons. Serena’s breathing had deepened and the look in her eyes was hot, glowing, as if she was a fire ready to be stoked.

Bernie allowed her hand to move further, her fingers curling around and pressing between. Serena was slick, very warm, and groaned with obvious relief as Bernie’s fingers found her clit.

Their lips found one another again, the kiss a little sloppy due to their position, but fuelled by desire none the less. Bernie painted Serena’s wetness all around, straining hard to touch all of her: outer lips, inner, the bump of her entrance, the engorged flesh of her clit. She felt the space widening as Serena parted her legs as best she could whilst still standing up.

Knowing how turned on Serena was—I mean how could she not know?—Bernie focussed on Serena’s clit, stroking large and gentle circles at first, building her up. Serena held her breath a few times, circling her hips and releasing the breath with a rush.

“Shh,” Bernie whispered affectionately. “Relax.”

“Feel so good,” Serena managed. “Different.”

“Mmm.” Bernie nipped at her neck, then took her nipple between forefinger and thumb and rolled it.

Serena gasped and reached down to Bernie’s hand where it was nestled between her legs.

“Patience,” Bernie chuckled as Serena pressed her more firmly against her clit. “Watch.” With a small nod of her head, she indicated the mirror.

Serena’s eyes opened wide and locked onto the image of them both, the mirror hiding nothing.

Bernie could see the glistening wetness against Serena’s dark curls, her own fingers beginning to circle faster now, Serena’s hand loosely atop, holding her in place rather than guiding her. _God this is so sexy._ Bernie’s own sex ached. She pressed her hips against Serena’s backside to try to ease it, of only a little.

Serena’s lips parted in a smile. Her teeth glinted in the bedside lamp light. “Bernie?”

“Mmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Bernie sped up her ministrations, the circles getting faster and tighter.

Serena’s moans were coming frequently, her head lolling against Bernie’s shoulder, but her eyes remained open, her gaze locked firmly on their reflection.

Bernie looked too. She took in each small movement Serena made, each roll of her hips, each arch of her back. The way her ribs expanded and fell with each gasp and each breath. The way various muscles tightened and released, at her stomach and in her arms.

When Serena started to tremble, Bernie removed her hand from Serena’s breast and wrapped her arm around her waist, giving her a little extra support. She circled and pressed and slid against Serena’s clit, so hard now, as if it was reaching for her fingers. Bernie buried her face in Serena’s neck.

“God Serena,” she hissed, feeling the body in her arms start to jolt.

“Oh…oh darling.” Serena moaned and clutched at Bernie’s arms, her hips snapping forwards, forwards, then going still. With her breath held, she shook from head to toe, her eyes sliding closed.

Bernie watched. Serena reflection stretched backwards as she came, her hands closing and opening, her hips beginning to twitch and roll with the waves of pleasure evident from her expression.

A low and guttural moan broke from within Serena as her body relaxed, her knees going loose for a moment before she regained control of them. She rested in Bernie’s arms, her back still against Bernie’s front. Her fingertips began to trail over Bernie’s skin, up and down her arms, a soothing motion as her body softened.

Flushed and flustered, Serena smiled, her cheeks pink with more than post-orgasm heat. She looked like she wasn’t sure what to say as she lowered her lashes and turned in Bernie’s arms so they were facing one another.

Bernie’s hand slipped from between Serena’s legs and she held her hips as they kissed. Her skin tingled where Serena’s fingers swept up her sides, then either side of her neck, and sunk into her hair.

A lazy, sated expression had taken hold across Serena’s features. Bernie hummed, pressing kisses across her cheeks and onto the tip of her nose, just to make Serena smile.

“That was…” Serena laughed breathily and captured Bernie’s lips in a quick kiss.

“It was.”

“Gosh.” Serena glanced over her shoulder at the mirror and when she turned back she was blushing even more.

Bernie chuckled and they just stood together, their bodies warm and a little sweaty but terribly comfortable.

Serena combed her fingers through Bernie’s hair, tucked it behind both her ears and make little tickling patterns against her neck. She swallowed a couple of times, before a look of strength and confidence built in her eyes. “We need to use the bed now.”

“Yeah. It’s late.”

“No, I wasn’t suggesting sleep. Not just yet.” Serena winked and pushed Bernie backwards, towards the bed.

Bernie’s knees hit the mattress and she dropped onto it, sitting on the edge and pulling Serena to stand between her legs. She wrapped her arms around Serena’s ample hips and pressed her nose and mouth to her abdomen. She could still see the dampness of Serena’s pubic hair. She could smell the evidence of her orgasm.

Serena allowed Bernie to nuzzle her belly, drawing her fingers through Bernie’s hair as if the strands were as soft as silk. She turned Bernie’s face up so she could look at her. “Reach back and grab me a pillow, won’t you?”

Tossing Serena a look of confusion, Bernie leaned back and did as she was told.

Serena placed the pillow at Bernie’s feet, and then lowered herself onto it on her knees. Her hands smoothed up and down Bernie’s parted thighs, her fingers curling around her hipbones.

Smiling down at her, but still none the wiser, Bernie caressed Serena’s neck and pulled her in for another kiss.

Serena obliged happily, her fingertips tickling up and down Bernie’s sides.

“What have you got planned?” Bernie asked, cocking an eyebrow, when they parted.

“Hmm.” Serena gave her a mischievous smile and dropped kisses under Bernie’s jaw. Then she moved lower, kissed Bernie’s neck.

Intrigued, Bernie stretched her neck backwards, then to one side, as Serena honed in on a particularly sensitive spot behind her ear.

A tug to her hips made Bernie shuffle forward just a touch. Then Serena’s fingers were smoothing against her breasts, touching her nipples in an aggravatingly slow way, with not nearly enough pressure. Bernie arched her back and hissed.

Gently kisses continued down Bernie’s neck and shoulders. Then Serena lowered her head and took one of Bernie’s nipples into her mouth.

Bernie groaned, one hand finding its way into Serena’s hair, the other moving to the mattress behind her own hips so she could hold herself up.

That talented tongue flicked and circled, causing tingles of arousal to travel like lightning bolts straight between Bernie’s legs. When Serena moved to the other nipple, Bernie curled her fingers into Serena’s hair.

Serena pulled away, a spark of concern in her eyes. “All right?”

“Yeah.” Bernie caressed Serena’s ear with a single finger. “Don’t you want to get more comfortable?”

“What d’you think the pillow’s for?” She was smiling, perhaps a little shyly.

Bernie gazed at her for a moment, and then a jolt of realisation took her. “Oh.”

“Hmm.” Serena smirked and thumbed Bernie’s hipbones. “I think you’d better lie back.”

Arousal flooded Bernie almost enough to disconnect her brain from the rest of her body. She rushed to lie back, allowing Serena to part her legs even further and closed her eyes tightly as Serena’s grinning face lowered. Her feet remained on the floor.

The first touch of Serena’s tongue to her clit made Bernie squeak. She had expected a build up, something gentle to test the waters. But apparently Serena wasn’t hanging around. Bernie’s clit throbbed and sung as Serena circled and lapped, small noises of enjoyment reverberating from her throat.

All Bernie could do was hang on. The hand that wasn’t in Serena’s hair clutched at the blanket she’d spread over the bed. Pleasure swept across her body, her nipples tight and sensitive in the cool breeze from the fan and the open window.

She groaned loudly when Serena’s lips encircled her clit and her tongue began a quick and eager flicking. Her body, which appeared not to be her own suddenly, squirmed against the mattress, and she was vaguely aware of Serena’s hands holding her hips in place. Bernie’s toes curled into the pillow beneath her feet. She could feel Serena’s shoulders against the insides of her knees, and her short hair high up on the insides of her thighs.

Breaking contact with her sex for barely a second, Serena’s head lifted and she grinned at Bernie, who had opened her eyes at the loss of pleasure. The look on Serena’s face was nothing close to rapturous, her lips parted and her breathing almost as deep as Bernie’s.

Then she lowered her head again and Bernie managed to last another three seconds before she was shaking and crying out and coming so hard she thought her body would break.

It was a long moment before Bernie stopped twitching. She gulped in a great lungful of air and let it out slowly. Serena was still kneeling between her legs, but resting back on her heels, her hands caressing up and down Bernie’s thighs.

Her head was slanted to one side and her smile was soft. Her eyes glinted with what Bernie hoped were happy tears.

Bernie reached for her, flapping her hands to coax her up and into her arms.

They both managed to manoeuvre themselves up the bed, Serena bringing the pillow with her. Naked and with chilly skin, Bernie pulled Serena on top of her, their legs tangling, hips aligned. Serena weight on her was delicious; the way their hips moved slightly back and forth was so sensuous.

The creature of arousal was growling again. Bernie wrapped one thigh around Serena’s hips and tugged to indicate Serena should do the same. Serena murmured her approval, and slid her thigh between Bernie’s, resting above her on her elbows.

Lazy kisses and just the right amount of friction meant that Bernie was soon undulating her hips upwards, pressing her thigh up against Serena’s sex as Serena was doing the same for her. The friction was blissful and just right and although it was lazy, it didn’t take long.

Serena broke the kiss and gazed down at Bernie, her eyes dark and sparkling, like stars in the night’s sky. Bernie grinned back, filtering her fingers through Serena’s hair.

Bernie quivered. With her clit pressed hard against Serena’s thigh, and their hips rolling in a now haphazard rhythm, Bernie gasped, feeling her orgasm cresting. It was gentler, more tingly and warm than the mind-blowing one she’d had just moments before. But it felt deeper, as if it wasn’t just happening between her legs but across her entire body.

Aftershocks were still rolling through her when Serena came too, muffling her moans in Bernie’s neck. As she came down, Bernie swept her hands up and down Serena’s back. Once Serena had begun breathing regularly, and had rolled to the side, her head on the pillow next to Bernie’s, Bernie sighed.

“We’re going to ache in the morning.”

Serena hummed happily. “I expect so.”

“Worth it though?”

“Definitely.”

They grinned stupidly at one another, and then shifted into a more comfortable position. Serena threw the blanket from her top half, allowing it to pool around her hips. She made sure to tuck the blanket around Bernie’s shoulders.

“Okay?” She murmured against Bernie’s hair.

Bernie snuggled against Serena’s shoulder and bent a knee up over her hip. “Okay.”

“Back on the ward tomorrow, hmm?”

Bernie nodded. “No more bloody elearning.” She trailed a finger down Serena’s jawline. “And back to the grindstone for you too.” She grinned sleepily before smothering a yawn with her hand. “And back to the pretty Dr Faulkner.”

“Back to being an absolute fool around her.”

“Maybe now that you’ve acknowledged it, it won’t be so bad.”

“Maybe.” Serena sighed. “Maybe I’ll send her to you for some trauma injury training.”

“I could take her under my wing,” Bernie murmured.

“Love you.” Serena yawned and flicked off the lamp. The room rested in darkness. Bernie and Serena rested in one another’s arms. They slept well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone reckon they know where this is headed? :oD


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during s20 e49.
> 
> And so this is where we sway away from canon. It was far too difficult for me to deal with Bernie's return in this version/universe. So, after this chapter, it shall be all me.
> 
> Thanks for your continued support.
> 
> If you haven't already seen, my book Hooked On You, inspired by the berena storyline, is now available for purchase.
> 
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-You-Jenn-Matthews/dp/3963241330/

Serena couldn’t work out whether Leah’s gaze, which felt as if it was constantly and consistently on her, was annoying on thrilling. She wasn’t sure which she preferred.

_So she fancies me. Does she have to stare at me all day?_

The section of bowel repaired, Serena nodded to her team and tried to ignore Leah’s attention, clear through the glass of the observation window.

A few minutes later, she was washing away the sweat that had gathered under her gloves. Leah was beside her. Serena focussed on business, on the care they needed to give to their patient. When the air between them became charged with the thing that Serena had begun to recognise as Leah’s self-deprecation, she sighed in as supportive way as she could and gave Leah reassurance. “Don’t worry. I won’t leave you until they’ve…transferred him.”

The relief on Leah’s face was evident, and it blossomed quickly into affection. “Thank you.”

Serena tensed as Leah ran her fingertips across her arm. Her skin tingled. The gesture seemed tender, a lot tenderer than it should have been; a touch between colleagues. Serena reeled in her attraction and set her jaw. The mask of professionalism dropped over her face. She turned off the tap.

Before she could reach for a hand towel, Leah was there with one already proffered. Serena had very little choice but to take it from her. Heat spread over her face but she reckoned it wasn’t her hormones. Or at least, it wasn’t those specific to the menopause.

 _Right, time for a conversation. This is becoming too difficult._ “Look.” Serena wiped her hands on the scrap of paper as if it would release her from her embarrassment. “We need to talk about the way you’re behaving.”

Leah’s eyebrows lowered just a notch. A small line appeared between them.

“Just so we’re clear…I know that you…well it’s pretty obvious that you…that you like me. And…I suppose I ought to be honest with you.” She stepped backwards and her backside hit the sink, making her loose her train of thought for a second. “Um…”

To her credit, Leah stayed where she was, although her feet shifted as if she wanted to move closer.

“I’m attracted to you,” Serena managed, her voice gravelly. “But nothing can happen I’m…I’m sorry if I led you on.”

“Serena.” The way Leah said her name made Serena shiver. The way she looked at her below her lashes made Serena want to punch her in frustration. “It’s fine. I understand.”

A deep sigh dropped Serena’s shoulders.

Leah seemed cocky. “It’s no big deal.” She turned away and, apparently, the subject was closed. “Right. I’ll go rustle up a nurse.” She gave her a knowing and secretive smile.

Unable to draw her gaze from Leah as she walked away, Serena felt confusion squeezing her chest. _Well, that could have gone better._ She rolled her eyes. Had Leah even taken on board what she had said to her? _She wasn’t even surprised by my admission. Maybe she’s just overly confident._ Serena thought back to her time as a junior doctor, the way she had battled for positions and procedures and sexual partners. Had she been cocky at that age too? _I’d just had Elinor at thirty-one. I was stuck in a marriage I hated and under the impression I was exclusively attracted to men._

She wondered how her life would have been if she had met Bernie and discovered her interest in the female form earlier. Would she have had Leah’s damningly annoying confidence, or her ability to turn another woman’s knees to jelly? Would she have lived a better life without all the stress of all the men she had dated? Would Bernie had been ready for her twenty years ago? Probably not.

A part of her was jealous of Leah, of her youth and the amount of time she had in front of her, professionally and romantically. She could have anyone she wanted. She could go out with a thousand women or men and have a great time, and then continue to progress as a surgeon, if she liked.

But Serena had Bernie. She wouldn’t have met her any other way and wouldn’t have been in a place to be with her had they met in their thirties. A shame, but the truth.

She sighed and smiled. _Maybe I should just admire Leah for her tenacious enthusiasm._ Then she rolled her eyes again and groaned. _If only she would stop hanging around me like a lost puppy._

* * *

“I’m just grabbing a sandwich,” Bernie called to Ethan, who was busy suturing a patient’s head.

He nodded and returned to his task.

The padded chair was a relief when she lowered herself into it. The staff room was quiet, the perfect place for some peace. Bernie opened the premade sandwich she’d purchased from the Kiosk and nibbled the corner, before her phone buzzed in her pocket. She smiled when she saw who the caller was. “Sweetheart.”

“Hello.” Serena sounded tired but cheerful. A low hum could be heard in the background.

“Got your fan on?”

“Mmm. Serious hot flush moment.”

“Sending sympathy via the hospital Wi-Fi.”

“Mmm.” Bernie could imagine Serena sitting in her office, her face shining with perspiration and her eyes closed in pleasure at the breeze from the fan. “Thank you.”

“Shift going okay?” Bernie started eating her sandwich with gusto, freshly energised by Serena’s voice.

“Yeah. Got a critical patient. Currently using one of the theatres as ITU until they have a bed free.”

“Fun and games.” Bernie swallowed a mouthful and crossed her legs, wiggling her backside until she felt more comfortable. “And you’re okay? Apart from the flushes?”

“Not bad. I um…” Creaking as Bernie assumed Serena moved about in her chair. “I had to…divulge…to Leah my…attraction.”

Bernie’s eyebrows lifted. “I thought you were going to be all cold and distant with her?”

“That was the plan.” A groan. “She did this…she does this thing where she looks at me with her head lowered. She has this smile on her, like she knows what I’m thinking.”

“Oh dear,” Bernie murmured, trying not to laugh.

“It’s very disconcerting.”

“I bet. Must be hell.”

A pause. “Are you taking the Michael, Ms Wolfe?”

Bernie smirked. “You have a gorgeous woman flirting with you and reading your mind.” Bernie flicked her eyebrows up, even though Serena couldn’t see her. “It’s…it’s…reasonably amusing.”

“Oh shush, you.” Serena sounded flustered, but Bernie could tell she was smiling and therefore taking it in good humour. “I thought maybe I was leading her on. Or maybe she thought I was. So I apologised and explained…nothing’s going to happen. So…” She sighed. “I’m hoping she listened.”

“I’m sure she did,” Bernie soothed, dropping her jesting act and actually feeling bad that Serena felt bad.

There was a silence, so Bernie ate her sandwich and then sucked her fingers clean. She thought briefly about making sexy little sucking noises down the phone, but allowed Serena to have the time to think.

“Oh!”

Bernie jumped, the previous quiet making Serena’s exclamation a jolt to her senses. “Oh?”

“Sorry. I just remembered. Jason wants you to do a reading at his wedding.”

Warmth and something overwhelmingly fluttery soared through Bernie. She was breathless for a heartbeat or two, before regaining her composure. “Oh.”

“That’s what I said.”

Bernie let out a bark of laughter. “Well…me and public speaking.” She bit her lip and put her hand on her knee when it bounced up and down. Her palms became damp. “I’m not sure.”

“No pressure from me,” Serena said, with warmth in her voice.

Something settled and relaxed inside Bernie’s chest.

“I think Jason would really like you to do the reading, though.”

“I’ll…I’ll think about it.”

A noise between a hum and a sigh. It settled Bernie further into her chair. She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it. _Mmm, juicy._

“He’s got it printed out for you. If you need to practise.”

“We’ll see.” Bernie had already decided—of course she would do it, how could she refuse?—but she didn’t feel ready to admit it, not even to Serena. She figured she’d gather her courage and when she finally spoke with Jason, she’d feel better about it.

“Ooops, sorry. Fletch is here.”

Bernie grinned. “Hi Fletch.”

“She says hi,” Serena relayed.

Bernie just about heard his greeting. It was like old times for a moment, and Bernie half-expected Raf to start laughing at Fletch’s antics. Her heart surged as she remembered the fun they used to have, and then at the thought that she wouldn’t ever have that again. None of them would. She swallowed. “I’ll let you go.”

“You’ve eaten dinner?”

“Had a sandwich.” She took another bite of the sweet apple, her happiness returning. “And pudding.”

“Good girl.” Serena’s voice had lowered and Bernie’s whole body screamed at her to stomp up to AAU if only to satisfy her need for Serena’s body against her own.

“That’s me,” she countered to deflect her reaction, “good as gold.”

“See you later. Come pick me up?”

“Course. Love you.”

“Love you.”

Bernie hung up and stuffed her phone back into the pocket of her scrubs. She leant her head against the chair back and closed her eyes, a sense of peace draping itself over her. She let out a long sigh and smiled. _Bloody Leah Faulkner. If I ever see her flirting with Serena again, I’ll be utilising my right as a jealous girlfriend._

* * *

“It’s fine.” Serena patted the poster against the desk.

“Great. Thank you. Well, with that ringing endorsement I’ll get these printed—”

“Sorry.” Serena sighed and send Fletch an apologetic smile. “I’m just a bit…” Her gaze drifted out towards Leah, who had her back to her at the nurse’s station.

Fletch turned around. When he turned back, he looked perplexed. “Something going on?”

“No,” Serena said firmly. But she couldn’t hold his gaze.

Fletch eyed her for a moment, and then appeared to give up. “Okay, well, let me know if you want to talk.”

She gave him a smile as he went to leave, but her cheer was short-lived. Leah brushed past him as he exited.

“So sorry to interrupt.” Leah had one hand on the door before Serena could groan aloud. “I really need you.”

 _Chances are, she probably does._ “Okay,” Serena said, standing and making her way out of the office. She resigned herself to the fact that she had a job to do, to show this junior doctor what professionalism looked like. _Do as I do, and as I say._ She gritted her teeth and thanked her lucky stars that Leah seemed to be focussed on the job at hand, rather than gazing languidly into her eyes.

The look on Leah’s face when she invited her to scrub in and assist, and the way she clasped her hands together, was nothing short of impish excitement. Serena hoped she would be able to keep her cool.

The procedure went well, and Leah seemed enthralled with each suture and each movement of the scalpel. Serena thrived on surgery—she always had—the delicate repairing and investigating of the smallest organs and tissues. She was pleased to be able to share that with Leah, without the weight of attraction pulling them down and making the air murky.

Once the guy was ready to be closed up, Serena decided that some one-to-one tutoring would benefit them both. Maybe they would grow more comfortable in one another’s company if the situation was less stressful medically. She invited Leah to take the lead in suturing and stood by her in the quiet so that she could observe.

“Relax,” she breathed and touched Leah’s shoulders to encourage her to drop them. They were almost up by her ears.

Leah gave a little chuckle and nodded, obligingly softening and lowering her shoulders.

 _I bet she can sew well._ Serena helped by snipping the stitch neatly and gave her gentle praise. “Excellent. You’re a natural.”

“Thank you.”

The tension had gone and, not wanting to stop when they had a good thing going, she suggested they continue. _Might as well give her the chance for more practise._

As Leah turned back to the wound, Serena caught sight of the side of her neck. Her skin looked soft, and a couple of moles dotted it, like little specks in the night’s sky. Serena wanted to remove her mask, to inhale the way Leah smelled, whilst she was engrossed in stitching up their patient. She wondered what she smelled of, realised she had stood close to her a couple of times, but had been so worried that Leah would make a move, she hadn’t allowed herself the pleasure.

_Bernie said it was okay. I’m allowed to feel like this._

She had no intention of behaving inappropriately with Leah, but she supposed looking a little and enjoying it a little wasn’t the end of the world. She did it with Bernie enough.

Later, once they had scrubbed out yet again, this time without Leah insisting on Serena using whatever hand towel she’d chosen for her, Serena checked the clock. She murmured to one of the nurses her intention of lying down for a couple of hours and retreated into the on-call room to rest her eyes. _Bernie will be up in an hour or so. I can’t really leave Leah on her own with this patient until he’s up in ITU._

She sent Bernie a text, an apology. She’d sleep in the on-call room for the night.

One hand behind her head, she set some relaxing music to play on her phone and stared at the ceiling for a while, willing for slumber to arrive. She yawned a couple of times, her jaw aching at the stretch, and then turned under the duvet to lie on her side. The pillow was warm under her cheek, the mattress just shy of comfortable, but not lumpy enough to keep her awake.

Images of the soft-looking skin of Leah’s neck kept swimming in front of her mind’s eye, like lily pads on a pond. She growled momentarily, then threw caution to the wind and accepted them, drifting in the imagined feel of Leah’s skin under her lips. Her skin tingled and the place between her legs twitched. She rolled her eyes behind her lids and tried to imagine something else, a beach, a mountain, somewhere in a beautiful forest.

_Well, this simply isn’t working._

A knock at the door. Serena sighed and sat up. “Yep?”

The door opened and a blond mop of hair slid around the frame. “Hi.”

Pleasure and guilt tugged her heart briefly but Serena pushed the latter away. “Bernie,” she whispered.

Bernie stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. “Just wanted to say goodnight before I went home.”

“That’s nice.”

The bed bounced as Bernie sat beside her and snuck an arm around her back.

Serena turned her head to bury her nose in Bernie’s hair. She inhaled and wondered why on earth she’d been thinking about Leah’s scent. “Mmm. That’s nice too.”

“D’you want me to stay?”

“No,” Serena said, flapping a hand at her. “You should go home and keep our bed warm.” She kissed Bernie’s cheek, and then caught her chin in her fingers, pulling her in. Bernie’s lips were lazy and pliable, as if she was as worn out as Serena.

Bernie’s eyes remained closed, before she sighed and she opened them, looking a little like she’d been in a trance. “I could cuddle up with you in here.” She regarded the single bed with narrowed eyes. “Not a lot of room.”

“No. But then we don’t need that much, do we?” Serena followed her gaze and smiled at her.

“Have to make sure no-one catches us.”

Serena blinked. “Are you…are you serious?”

“Um…” Bernie looked unsure. “Only if…”

“Oh please. Everyone knows we’re together. It’s not like we’re going to get naked and have rampant sex in the on-call room.”

“Aren’t we?”

Serena laughed, her hand tight over her mouth to muffle the sound. “No, dear. We are not.”

The look on Bernie’s face was mock-forlorn and it made Serena giggle harder.

She scooted back on the bed and held the covers open. “Come on. Take off your trainers.”

With an eager glint in her eye, Bernie stood and slipped off her shoes. The next moment she was snuggled up to Serena, her arm nestled under Serena’s head, her fingers tracing idle patterns into the dip of her waist.

Serena flushed and arousal burned through her again. “Enough of that.” She swatted at Bernie’s hand.

“Someone’s feeling amorous.”

Serena slid her fingers between Bernie’s in an attempt to still them.

Bernie seemed content with this. “Been spending time with Leah?”

“Maybe.” Serena glared at her. “She’s been behaving this evening.”

“Good.” Bernie squeezed her fingers.

“And her suturing skills are top notch.”

“Good.” Bernie nuzzled her ear gently with her nose, causing a shiver to pass through Serena’s body. “Glad to hear it.”

“I keep wondering if she’s been a seamstress, in a past life.”

A gentle laugh rumbled through the ribs below and Serena squeezed Bernie’s fingers back, before settling more comfortably against her shoulder and bending her knees against Bernie’s hip.

“Now then,” Bernie whispered. “You sleep.” Her voice became a hiss. “I’ll keep watch for attractive F1s.”

Serena snorted, but did as she was told, closing her eyes and taking in a lungful of cleansing, Bernie-scented air. She allowed it to rush out of her, through pursed lips. Her body softened and she felt like she was sinking into the bed, and into Bernie.

Her sleep was restful and the body beside her was warm. Another knock on the door a few hours later made her startle awake, and she felt Bernie murmuring and shifting before she realised someone was at the door.

Serena climbed from the bed and trudged to the place the knocking noise had emanated, smoothing down her hair, hoping she didn’t look like she’d been fast asleep.

All was dark and quiet when she opened the door and she was surprised to see Leah leaning against the frame, her cheek pressed against the wood.

“ITU just called. They’ve cleared a bed, so he’s on his way up.”

With her cheeks burning, and the hope that Leah wouldn’t see Bernie in the bed behind her, Serena nodded. “Good, thank you.”

“Everything else is under control if you want to get off.” Leah’s eyes flicked behind Serena and then widened as apparently she noticed Serena’s bedmate. “Oh…I didn’t realise…”

When Serena turned to look, Bernie was sitting on the bed, her hair tousled and her eyes squinting. She’d obviously been deeply asleep too. _So much for staying awake whilst I get some shut-eye._ Serena wanted to laugh and the confused look on Bernie’s face just made the desire stronger.

“Get some proper sleep before the morning.” Leah’s tone had dropped, softened. Her words were tentative and slow, as if she was treading through water, trying not to step on fish. Or gathering delicate seashells.

 _What is my brain doing? I really do need more sleep._ Serena glanced at her watch. “There’s not much point now.” She threw caution to the wind and stepped back, effectively including Bernie into the conversation. “Besides, this one is keeping me warm and comfortable.” She sucked her bottom lip anxiously and side-eyed Leah. “I… We don’t make a habit of sharing the on-call room but sometimes, need’s must.”

“Don’t worry,” Leah said, her gaze lingering on Bernie, who had pulled her fingers through her hair to tame it. “I’ll keep it to myself. It’s not every day I get to see such a lovely sight. I feel privileged to be granted permission.” Her gaze lowered and she had that slight smile on her face. Then she looked back up at Serena.

The old nervousness returned and Serena had to refrain from stamping her foot in frustration. _We were doing so well, being so professional._ Leah was standing close again. On Serena’s next inhalation, she took in the smell of her hair and her perfume. Heat flashed through her.

“Serena,” Bernie breathed. When Serena turned, Bernie had one hand outstretched.

Taking a step back and ignoring the fact that Leah was intent on gazing at her lips, Serena threw Bernie a wobbly smile. “Okay,” she said, affection tugging her mouth upwards. “I’m coming.”

“Dr Faulkner, you’re outstaying your welcome.” Bernie seemed more awake. She was looking interestedly at the woman intruding into their space. However, the tone of her voice was gentle, teasing perhaps, as if she didn’t want to offend.

Serena looked between the two and noted their locked gazes with surprise.

Leah backed down first but her voice was tinged with affection. “Sorry. Can’t help myself.”

“Couple of hours left.” Bernie’s words were directed at Serena. “Let’s take Leah’s advice.”

With a nod, and her characteristic lowered gaze, Leah stepped away and allowed the door to close.

Serena stared at the door as Leah’s muffled footfalls faded away. She frowned at Bernie, who had settled down in bed again, her arm out for Serena to nestle against. “It’s almost as if…” She pursed her lips and continued to stand and stare.

“What?” There was a glint in Bernie’s eyes that suggested she knew very well what Serena meant.

“Leah. She…she was looking at you as if…”

“She doesn’t just fancy _you_?”

With a hand pressed to her sternum, Serena shuffled over to the bed and sat on the edge. “Well…yes.”

“I’ve had my suspicions for a while,” Bernie said, her cheek pressed to the pillow and her eyes half-closing. “She’s looked at me a few times and I’ve thought, oh hello.” She shrugged, before pulling the duvet up under her arm. “I’m cold.” She patted the mattress with her hand.

Serena blinked a few times, her mind reeling, and then lay down in front of Bernie, her back pressed to Bernie’s front. She pulled Bernie’s arm around her middle and turned her face into the pillow to kiss the inside of Bernie’s elbow.

They both sighed. She could feel Bernie’s lips against the back of her neck. “So you…that’s okay?”

“Well, I don’t have to work with her.” Bernie fidgeted a little, then snuggled her nose against Serena’s shoulder. “It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers you, because I haven’t got to mentor her.”

“Hmm.”

“I do admit,” Bernie said slowly, “she did look like she wanted to join us.” A pause. Serena’s heart thumped. “Didn’t she?”

“I…I doubt she’d even think about that. Anyhow, there wouldn’t be room.”

Bernie simply breathed out a snort of soft laughter and cuddled closer.

The music that still tinkled out of Serena’s phone lulled them both to sleep.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long guys. I've half way through my new romance novel, which will be published next summer, so gotta get that done. Hoping everyone is signed up to my newsletter! If not, check out jennmatthews.com and add your email to the list!
> 
> And yes I'm sorry about the formatting. I finished this on my phone and it didn't carry the format across when I pasted it. I shall rectify when I get home (currently in Greece). X

 

Bernie leaned against the bar, taking in the family and friends and colleagues dancing around her. Her elbow rested next to her glass of bubbly, the taste of which still rolled around her mouth and made her hum. Serena and the rest were doing the conga, something Bernie had graciously bowed out from. She didn’t mind a little slow-dancing but her comfort stopped there. She’d never been good at that, even after her military upbringing and the classes her parents had forced her to attend. _Never liked someone else leading me, anyway._

Jason looked like he was having a ball, his hands planted firmly on his aunt’s shoulders and his characteristic grin shining brightly. Greta was there too, which was surprising but nice to see, her face also aglow. It radiated out of the both of them; fun making everything look so colourful and glittery. Bernie allowed the feelings to wash over her, warm her whole body and pull her face into a matching smile.

Her smile widened when Serena broke away and rested her elbow on the bar too, facing Bernie. Her face was flushed and her eyes were shining.

Bernie couldn’t help reaching out to slide a finger along her jaw. “Having fun?”

“Yes.” Serena’s gaze locked with Bernie’s.

As Bernie slipped her fingertip down Serena’s neck, she moved in and captured her lips. Serena tasted of champagne and Bernie sighed deeply against the kiss. They broke apart and Bernie’s lashes stayed lowered.

A giggle bubbled out of Serena and she flushed even more. “Goodness. What’s got you all romantic?”

Bernie laughed, her shoulders lifting. She waved a hand around. “I don’t know. The music, the lighting, the fact that Dominic is slow dancing with his new husband?”

After tucking herself into Bernie’s side, Serena looked out into the pub at the throng of people. The music had settled and was now much easier to sway to. Bernie’s hand settled around Serena’s waist, Serena’s warmth all against her side.

“You did well,” Serena said, her voice dripping with affection. “Your reading. I can’t imagine anyone doing a better job.”

“You’re just saying that because you love me.”

“Rose tinted glasses?” Serena cocked that famous eyebrow. “Not a chance.” Serena kissed Bernie’s cheek to prove her point, although Bernie wondered what it was exactly.

“I just said the words they gave me. It was nothing.”

“I know you were worried about it and you needn’t have been.” Serena’s hand trailed up and down Bernie’s back a few times before she reached for her glass. “It was very sweet.”

“Came from the heart,” Bernie murmured, her chest swelling as she took in their family and how wonderful it all was. A lump formed in her throat but it was a happy lump, so she waited for it to pass rather than pushing it away or brushing it off. “They look so happy.”

“They do.” Serena sipped her drink and then lay her cheek against Bernie’s shoulder. “I think it’s making me all sentimental, though.”

“Nothing wrong with sentimentality.” Bernie pressed a kiss to Serena’s crown. “Especially when you’re in love.”

Serena let out a content noise and smiled up at her. Bernie simply smiled back, relishing the closeness, relishing the music and the setting and the words their friends and family had said. Relishing in Serena.

 

* * *

 

The next day was a day off for both of them. Guinevere was taking a nap from playing with Bernie, her afternoon babysitter, in her travel cot in the spare room. Bernie had the television on low, her reading glasses perched on her nose and a copy of _The Lancet_ propped up against her knees. A cup of tea steamed on the coffee table.

 _Well this is domestic._ Bernie snorted and pushed her glasses up her nose. Her gaze lingered on the hallway door, towards the sleeping toddler, and then returned to the article she was reading. The television played canned laughter in the background and Bernie found it comforting. Like having the radio on, but less distracting.

The door opened quietly and Bernie strained to see Serena stepping inside, her scarf fluttering around her shoulder and two big bags of shopping in her hands. Bernie stood quickly, deposited the journal next to her tea and shuffled out to help. “Was it busy?” She twirled her glasses around her finger before sliding them into her pocket, both hands now free to grab bags.

“Not too bad. The joys of going mid-week.”

“Something to be said about not working Monday to Friday.”

“Mmhm.” Serena handed her one of the bags and got the door closed, then pushed her shoes off, her coat following next and ending up on the hook. “Got you a lovely four-pack of Carling.”

“You didn’t have to,” Bernie said as she followed Serena into the kitchen. She had one ear open for Guinevere, who had been asleep for an hour.

“I know. But we’ve worked hard this week and we both needed a treat.”

“You got your favourite red, I assume?”

Serena grinned and produced a wine bottle with a gold label. “Only the best.”

Bernie winked at her. They unpacked the shopping, working in tandem and efficiently, swerving and stooping around one another until the bags were empty and the cupboards were full. “Curry for dinner?”

“Yup.” Serena pointed at her. “You’re cooking.”

Bernie stepped up close and grabbed Serena’s hip. She kissed her ear, which elicited a chuckle from Serena. “I know I am.”

Serena’s hands smoothed around Bernie’s neck and her fingertips filtered through Bernie’s hair.

Tingles shot down Bernie’s body, congregating between her legs. She pushed Serena gently up against the counter, then slipped her thumbs into the belt-loops on Serena’s trousers to hold her steady. The look of delighted surprise on Serena’s face only spurred her on. She pressed her pelvis against Serena’s and dipped her head. When their lips were millimetres apart, she stopped.

Serena had parted her lips and tilted her chin upwards. Bernie paused, making Serena wait. She got what she desired when Serena whined gently and gripped Bernie’s hair.

The kiss, when it finally happened, was full of passion and need. Serena’s lips were soft and her cheeks were still cold from being outside. Bernie made serious work of warming them with her fingertips and then her lips.

A shiver passed through Serena and Bernie pulled back. Serena’s eyes were dark and her lashes lowered.

“All right?” Bernie whispered.

“I’m starting to think you’re some sort of witch, Berenice Wolfe,” Serena managed, flapping a hand at her face. “You only have to kiss me once and I get all…”

“Menopause, be damned, hmm?” Bernie said, a tender smile on her face. She gave Serena some breathing room but kept their bodies touching, her palms rubbing gently around Serena’s waist.

“Absolutely.” Serena smiled up at her. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Want to know something?”

“Always.”

Bernie made sure to press a kiss to Serena’s lips, before pulling back again, grinning when Serena tried to follow her to prolong it. “You’ve been a lot more amorous since Leah arrived on the scene.”

The blush increasing and spreading down her chest, Serena looked to one side, an uneasy look in her eyes.

“It’s alright,” Bernie murmured, her thumbs rubbing slow circles into Serena’s waist. “It’s not like I mind.”

“But…” Serena chewed her lip, then brought her gaze back to Bernie’s. She flipped one hand in the air. “It’s weird.”

“Do you think of her when you’re with me?” Bernie swallowed and wanted to take the query back. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

Serena seemed to mull over her response. “I don’t. Not…not whilst we’re…”

The baby squealed, then began to giggle, her voice tinny in the baby monitor.

Both of them breathed out and Bernie shot Serena a smile, half apologetic, half relieved. Then she nodded, understanding tugging at her chest. “When we aren’t together?”

Serena nodded too. “Sometimes. But I don’t wish…I mean…”

Guinevere shrieked again and Bernie regretfully pushed away from the counter and Serena, then turned to head upstairs to collect the maker of the noise.

 

***

 

Serena wiped the baked beans from her sleeve with a damp cloth and pressed the material into a tea towel to dry it as best she could. She looked fondly at the wet patch, making a mental note to simply remove anything with long sleeves when she was feeding the baby. _Not worth the washing._ Guinevere was fun when paired with food, but the end result was baked bean adorned clothes.

The blonde mop of hair against the sofa back caught the streetlamp light in a very attractive way. Serena busied herself loading and turning on the dishwasher, before leaning against the counter with her glass of wine and smiling over. Nerves pulled her stomach as she remembered the conversation from earlier. Since Guinevere had woken, they’d been mostly concerned with keeping her happy and fed, rather than mulling over the things they had talked about.

 _We never managed to finish the conversation._ Serena gazed out the kitchen window, her thoughts straying. The subject of Leah still worried her. Bernie seemed eager to find out how Serena felt about the young woman at every opportunity. Serena wished Leah had never appeared, never sparked her interest. It would have been so much easier. There wouldn’t be this gut-swirling feeling every time Serena was near the young woman. No worry that she would say the wrong thing, get too close, be too distant. Serena didn’t want to offend Leah but—and this was the main thing, of course—she really didn’t want to suggest to Bernie that she was anything less than completely faithful. _I don’t cheat. I think I’ve made that plainly obvious._

But she _was_ attracted to Leah. That much was entirely clear and very much out in the world. Bernie knew and said she was okay with it. Invigorated by it, even. Leah knew also, although she’d kept it quiet at work. And Bernie seemed to mirror her affections for Leah, if only due to physical attraction. Serena wondered if she, herself, had more than a simple ‘I think she’s pretty’ feeling for Leah.

Then there was the fact that Leah was her subordinate. Never mind that Serena was in a very committed relationship with someone she very much loved. Even if she had been single, Serena would never have done anything with Leah. Even if Leah had been more their own age.

A sip of wine seemed appropriate. Perhaps a gulp.

The baby was in bed, her gentle musing having quietened to a low and occasional murmur. Then deep breathing. The kind of sound that filled the house with stillness and relaxation. Serena was pulled back to when Elinor was small, those precious moments when she had fallen asleep and Edward had still been at work—or wherever the bastard had gone to—and Serena had been alone with the comfy sofa and some soft music. She tried to let the memory relax her, despite the dread that made her shudder a bit. She wished the sublime mood would continue but knew she should bring up the subject again.

She moved back into the lounge and rounded the sofa.

Bernie had slumped with her eyes closed and a muslin cloth still draped over one shoulder.

Serena bent to retrieve it and folded it neatly over the arm of the sofa.

Stirring at the disturbance, Bernie stretched. The smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes continued when she focussed on Serena.

“She went down okay?” Serena asked quietly. She could stave off the conversation for a few more moments.

Bernie sighed in an affirming way, then flopped one hand up towards Serena, a gesture that clearly said ‘come here’.

Serena nestled next to her, placing her glass on the coffee table. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Bernie slung an arm around her shoulders and coaxed Serena to lean into her side. “Nice evening.” Her fingertips tickled Serena’s neck, causing goose bumps to rise.

“Yes.” Serena snuggled her cheek against Bernie’s shoulder, then took a deep breath. “I suppose we should… I mean…” Suddenly words had evaporated. There was that tugging nervous feeling again. Not nice.

“You want to continue our interesting discussion about Dr Falkner?”

After letting out an almighty sigh, Serena pushed up so that she could catch Bernie’s gaze. “We should.”

“Okay.” Bernie had closed her eyes in an understanding squint. “Okay.”

“So…” Serena rubbed the back of her neck, then took Bernie’s hand in her own. “You said you were okay with…with me being attracted to her.”

Bernie nodded. “And I stand by that.”

“I don’t…I don’t wish that she was with me instead of you.”

She nodded again. “I figured that.”

“Okay.” Serena sucked on her lip, contemplating. She wanted to be truthful and as open as she was able. “I suppose…when I’m alone. If you’re on a nightshift or…out.” She shrugged and chuckled a bit, despite herself. “With the boys or…” Bernie had been out a few times with David and Ethan and Noel. And that Jacob, who always turned on the charm when he spoke with Serena.

“When I’m out.” Bernie was encouraging her, but also letting Serena know that she was listening.

“If I’m…feeling…” Her cheeks burned. “You know?”

“When you feel amorous?”

Serena nodded. “I suppose my mind wanders. Sometimes I’m with you, sometimes it’s with…whoever. From the television or films. That Chloe Sevigny, she’s fairly attractive…”

“Certainly on that motorcycle.”

Serena snorted. “Well yes. Something about her looking all butch and…” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway.” She huffed and drew in a large breath. “Sometimes, I do think about…about Leah.”

Perhaps to soothe her, Bernie skimmed both palms along Serena’s thighs, up and down. Then she lifted her fingertips to Serena’s chin and stroked her there. “Darling.”

“Yes?” Serena’s voice shook. Was Bernie going to say she shouldn’t think about anyone else? Would Bernie plead with her to think only about Bernie for the rest of her days? Serena reckoned she could do that, if only to keep Bernie happy.

“Your time is for you. You can think about…you absolutely _should_ think about whomever you wish. It would be unfair of me to ask anything else of you.” She traced Serena’s jawline, affection coming off her in waves. “Darling, it’s healthy to have fantasies. It’s healthy to think about whatever makes you feel good. If that’s me: great. If that’s other people too, that’s okay as well.”

“You um…you don’t think…” Serena looked at her own hands and fidgeted. “You don’t think that’s a little greedy of me?”

“All the research points towards being honest and accepting of what we can fantasise about.” Bernie stroked down Serena’s neck. “I know better than most what happens when you deny yourself the things you really want.”

Serena’s gaze snapped up to Bernie’s and tears stung her eyes. “Oh.”

“Hmm.” Bernie’s were a little wet as well, but she blinked and smiled. “I lived for a long time assuming that life just wasn’t that great for anyone. Or it was, and that there was something wrong with me. Something that didn’t quite work.”

Serena caught Bernie’s shoulders and gripped hard. “I’m sorry you felt like that.”

“Whatever happened in my life, it all led to you.” Bernie shrugged. “It took a long time, but I am glad I ended up where I did.”

They came together almost as two attracting magnets. The kiss was slow and soft and full of meaning. _I didn’t realise. I mean, I knew, of course. But I didn’t know the extent of her misery._ Serena pulled back and wiped a single tear from her own eye.

Bernie hummed a chuckle and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Here, now. It’s all good.” She thumbed Serena’s cheek. “And I want you to feel as comfortable and as free as possible.” A thoughtful look crossed her face; a glint sparkled in her eye. “I want your life to be fulfilling and fun. Goodness knows, you’ve had enough heartache in your life and…honestly, Serena…I want you to enjoy whatever time we have together.”

“I do, of course I do Bernie. But I’ll never…I mean…” Serena sighed at the compassion in Bernie’s expression. “I will always be yours. For you.”

“And I will always be for you.”

Another kiss, just as gentle as the last. It lingered and softened even more, if it were possible. Serena guided Bernie sideways against the sofa back, snuggled into the cushions and brought her knees up so that she could curl up within Bernie’s arms. The back cushion of the sofa was soft against her cheek. Bernie’s fingers started to tickle her neck again. She sighed and hummed against the gentle kisses they shared, giggled when Bernie nibbled on her bottom lip. When they broke apart, it was as if they had both been asleep. The tension that had consumed her had dissipated.

The smile on Bernie’s face was lazy and content, like a cat in front of a fire. “I do sometimes think…I mean…” She laughed nervously. “It’s a shame you’ve only ever slept with me.”

Serena cocked an eyebrow. “I have not, Ms Wolfe.” The indignity in her own voice make her snort.

Bernie blinked, then realised her mistake. “Oh, no. You know what I mean. I’m the only woman…” She frowned, pursed her lips. “Aren’t I?”

“Oh, you are.” Serena nodded, her fingers tangling in Bernie’s hair and beginning to make little combing motions. Bernie’s eyes slipped closed for a heartbeat, then opened again, as she waited for Serena to continue. “You definitely are. I told you that.”

“It’s a shame.” Bernie’s fingertips trailed little patterns into the fabric of Serena’s trousers, by her hip. “It’s a shame you haven’t experienced making love with another woman.”

“You’re more than enough for me.” Serena smoothed Bernie’s hair behind her ear, a rhythmic and easing motion. “The last few weeks have been wonderful. Trying new things…”

“I know. It’s just a shame.”

Serena narrowed her eyes in jest. “Are you trying to palm me off on someone else?”

Luckily getting the joke, Bernie grinned. “That’s an idea. Maybe we could find someone who would like a night with a sexy, beautiful, fantastically funny woman.”

“I’m sure we could, but I wouldn’t want that.”

“Maybe Leah would oblige.”

A loud guffaw threw itself out of Serena, making the whole sofa vibrate. “Again, I’m sure she wouldn’t have a problem with that. But I sure as hell would.”

“Would you?” Bernie seemed truly interested.

It made Serena quieten and tilt her head to the side. “Of course.” She set her jaw, something fluttering and uncomfortable in her belly. “I’d _never_ cheat on you.”

Sitting back a little and straightening her spine, Bernie looked at her steadily. “What if I gave you permission?”

“I wouldn’t take it.” Serena frowned. “What’s this about?”

“I just…” Bernie gripped Serena’s hips with intent. “If we asked Leah…it would be nice for you to experience someone else…I’m sure you’d learn things…”

Their gazes locked. Serena twisted her lips. “Do I need to learn things?”

“Not at all.” Bernie’s jaw flexed and she wrinkled her nose. “I’m not making myself clear.”

Serena studied her. Did Bernie want her to cheat on her? Did Bernie think she wasn’t good enough for Serena? “I wouldn’t want to.” She bit her lip and nodded. “I love you. And the risk of sleeping with someone else… I wouldn’t want anything to come between us. Ever.” She took both of Bernie’s hands, the caresses in Bernie’s hair forgotten for the moment. “Yes, I fancy Leah. Yes, sleeping with her, I’m sure, would be a wholly fulfilling and wonderfully sexy experience—unless she was crap in bed, although I’d be surprised, she’s awfully confident—but I love _you_. I wouldn’t want to be with _anyone_ that wasn’t you.”

A slow smile spread across Bernie’s face. “I love you too.”

“In any case, she’s my junior doctor. It would be completely inappropriate.”

Bernie chuckled. “Unless you waited until she finished her placement, of course.”

“Oh, of course. Then it wouldn’t be wrong at all.” Serena allowed the flirtatious sarcasm to drip from her words.

“Imagine though,” Bernie said, her tone drawling and low, “taking her out. I expect she’s into discos or whatever.”

“I think it’s called ‘clubbing’ these days, Bernie.”

Bernie shrugged. “Music, dancefloor, alcohol. Pressed up against her.”

“Oh stop it,” Serena laughed, her fingers back in Bernie’s hair. She made sure to drag her nails lightly against Bernie’s scalp.

A noise akin to a groan rumbled through Bernie. “Moving to the music. Arms around that slim body.”

“Is this turning you on more than it’s turning me on?” Serena grinned.

A flush scorched across Bernie’s cheeks. “I’m…I’m not sure.”

“You like the thought of me with her?” How the tables had turned. Now it was Serena teasing Bernie for the direction and focus of her imagination.

“Maybe.”

Serena’s gaze flicked to the baby monitor and, satisfied that all that could be heard were sleeping noises, she shuffled about and rose onto her knees. After flinging one over Bernie’s lap, she rested her hands on Bernie’s shoulders. “Does it turn you on? Would you like to watch?”

Something passed over Bernie’s face and it was shortly followed by a deep blush.

“Oh darling, it’s okay.” Serena leant down to kiss her cheek, then her lips. “Like you said, it’s okay to have whatever fantasies you like.”

“If…if we were to…if I was to be…there as well…” Bernie chewed her lip, her hands coming to rest on Serena’s hips, holding her steady. “I think I’d like that.”

Serena chuckled, but then realisation dawned, as if cold water had been thrown into her face. She studied the woman underneath her with concern, then with curiosity. “Just as a fantasy, right?”

Bernie averted her gaze.

“Because I’m not sure that’d…” Trailing off, Serena sat back a little. She made sure she continued to touch Bernie, however, wanting to maintain contact despite her stormy thoughts.

“D’you remember when I went to Noel’s house for poker?”

Serena blinked and frowned, hoping to understand the more Bernie explained. “Yes.”

“We…we got to talking. We ended up playing that… _I Have Never_ …or whatever it’s called.”

Serena smirked. “Oh God I’ve played that. Sian insisted at her fortieth birthday party. I don’t think I’ve ever been so humiliated in my life.”

“Had you not done much then?”

“Surprised?”

Bernie relaxed a little beneath her. “A bit. I always imagined you as this sexy…beautiful and confident woman who…asked for and got whatever she wanted.”

“Hasn’t always worked out that way.” She squeezed Bernie’s hips gently with her thighs and dipped her fingertips below the back of her shirt. “Anyway, go on.”

“Well it turned out the boys had all done way more things than I had. Except Ethan—he really is very innocent.”

“I got that impression.”

Bernie’s eyes shone and they exchanged a smile. “We drank to this and that, same sex kisses…” She chuckled. “I won hands down on that round.”

“I would hope so. Mature lesbian like you.” Serena squeaked when Bernie pinched her side.

“Cheeky.”

Serena grinned, pleased that Bernie was seemingly over her earlier anxiety.

“We got to the inevitable moment in these things where someone came up with threesomes.” Bernie twisted her lips, clearly trying not to grin back. “It was a real eye opener.”

“I bet.”

“Turns out everyone except Ethan and me had been involved. David twice, as I recall.”

“Really?”

Bernie nodded. “And we…we actually talked about it a bit. It was interesting.”

“What did you deduct from that fascinating conversation?”

“Noel was drunk, David was on a high and Jacob fulfilled the curiosity of a gay woman and her girlfriend. Apparently, they all had a lovely time.”

Serena blinked for a few moments, then took a deep, disbelieving breath. “That’s…wow.”

“Yeah I was surprised too. Three out of the five of us.”

“Did you…” Serena caressed Bernie’s cheek with the back of her fingers. “Did you ever consider it with Marcus?”

“Allowing a woman into the bedroom with us?” Bernie’s face fell just a touch and she sighed. “No. But I can’t say I didn’t think about it.”

“Do you wish you had?”

Bernie simply shrugged. “I’m not sure if it would have changed anything.”

Serena shook her head to clear it. “So, what, Jacob just stumbled across a couple that wanted to try being with a man?”

“Sort of.”

“And they just went to bed?”

“He said they talked about it first. Figured out who wanted what.”

Serena nodded and sucked her bottom lip. “I guess if it’s only going to be a onetime thing it’s good to discuss what’s going to happen.”

“Not like you can try again and make it better next time.” Bernie grinned again. “Like I did with you.”

“Oh shush.” Serena shoved Bernie’s shoulder.

Bernie huffed and lowered herself sideways until her head hit the cushion that rested against the arm. She blinked up at Serena, her eyebrows raised.

“Our first time was just lovely,” Serena said, pouting.

“It was not. It was fumbled and frantic and completely hilarious.”

“You’d been across the world for weeks. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you.”

“Clearly.”

Serena chuckled and shook her head. She rolled her hips against Bernie’s belly and tingles shot down her whole body. “We had plenty of time to perfect it. And I for one wasn’t going to let you go until we’d achieved something close to pure ecstasy together.”

“I guess if it was just a onetime thing, you’d talk more beforehand. If you knew it would be.” Bernie looked thoughtful, her hair spread out on the cushion and her hands on Serena’s waist.

“Hmm.” Serena pushed Bernie’s hair back and leant down to capture her lips. She pressed her hips downwards again, aware of the way Bernie’s hips came up to meet her own. She rested on one forearm and broke the kiss, enjoying the way Bernie’s breathing had quickened. “And now?”

“Now what?” Bernie’s brain had obviously short-circuited. Just the way Serena liked it.

“Would a threesome be something you would consider?”

Lying back on the sofa, her mouth agape, Bernie stared up at Serena.

Serena took pity on her. “I don’t mean tonight, Bernie.”

Bernie closed her mouth. She swallowed. “Um…would _you_?”

Serena considered it carefully. _Is that something I want? Would I enjoy being watched by Bernie, and watching Bernie making love…or having sex…or whatever…with another woman?_ It was an unusual concept for her, something she had never thought about where Bernie was concerned.

After a slow inhale, Serena brought her mind back to the woman reclined underneath her. “I’m not sure. Maybe.”

“With Leah?”

“No.” She was very sure of that and was pleased that her tone of voice expressed it. “It would be inappropriate.”

“It would at the moment. But when she finishes her placement?”

Serena sought the right words, frustration crumpling her face. “I just…I don’t know.”

“You fancy her.”

“I know. So do you.”

Bernie eyed her, but the corners of her lips tugged upwards. “I know.” Her voice had dropped to a slow murmur. Her hands slid from Serena’s hips to the front of her trousers.

Tilting her hips forwards, Serena pressed her sex against Bernie’s hands. She gasped as Bernie’s knuckles hit her in just the right place. “How would we even ask her?”

“We’d need a plan.” Bernie’s voice was breathy. Her fingers fluttered, making Serena press against them again.

Pleasure blossomed between Serena’s legs, and she let out a quiet moan, before reeling her arousal back in. “There’s no way I’d be able to ask her whilst she’s on AAU. Maybe we could…exchange numbers…”

Bernie was pressing her, right over her clit. It was a rhythmic motion, one that made her hips roll and her thighs tense. “I do love watching you,” Bernie said, smiling up at her with affection in her eyes. “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

“You wouldn’t be jealous?” Serena trailed her fingers all over Bernie’s face, along her jaw and down her neck. She stopped when she reached Bernie’s collar, tickling her skin for a moment, before dipping beneath the fabric.

“I don’t know.” Bernie seemed unable to think properly. Her eyes slipped out of focus when Serena’s fingers found her nipples through her top.

In control again, Serena rocked her hips in a slow rhythm, her hand busy on Bernie’s tightening nipples. She brushed her nails over them, pinched and rolled them, until Bernie was writhing beneath her.

Bernie reached up and in a flash Serena was pressed down against her, lips bruising her own. “I need you out of these clothes,” she gasped into Serena’s mouth. Contrary to her verbalised wishes, Bernie didn’t seem able to release Serena from the tight embrace.

Gasps and moans filled the air as they kissed, bodies pressed close together, no air between them. Serena had a hand in Bernie’s hair and the other gripping the sofa arm, her centre burning and unfulfilled with four layers of clothing between them. Her own nipples screamed to be touched, but the padding of her bra was—yet again—a barrier to her pleasure.

Somewhere in the depths of her brain she knew they ought to take it upstairs. Undress together and lie skin-to-skin. But the way Bernie held her and the way Bernie was moving under her and between her legs was intoxicating. Serena couldn’t stop.

Bernie was grunting, panting, urging Serena’s hips against her.

The image of Leah lying on the sofa, pulling Serena’s pelvis against her own, her short hair spiked against the arm rest, filled Serena’s mind unexpectedly. Pleasure surged through her and she allowed it, forced her mind to accept it. She did pull back, however, to look down at Bernie with heaving ribs, her hips still moving.

Dark eyes looked back at her; a flush had spread down Bernie’s neck. A spark of worry crossed Bernie’s face. “All right?”

“You’d have to be there,” Serena whispered. She smoothed a palm against Bernie’s cheek. “With Leah.”

“Of course.” The concern had been replaced by sincerity. Bernie held Serena’s hand to her cheek, then turned to kiss her fingers, one by one. “And I’ll hold your hand.”

“I might be nervous.” Serena pursed her lips around a smile. “I have, after all, only ever been with you.”

The body between her legs softened. Bernie chuckled. “Well I’ve only ever been with you and one other woman.”

“True.” Serena leant down to capture Bernie’s lips. She held her jaw steadily whilst they kissed. Serena shuddered and then chuckled when Bernie rocked her hips upwards. “This is a very dangerous situation to be in.”

“What, talking about another woman whilst we’re getting jiggy on the sofa?”

Serena giggled at the turn of phrase, but shook her head. “You and I fooling about like teenagers whilst fully clothed. On a sofa far too small for your long legs.”

Bernie lifted up so that she could whisper in Serena’s ear. “Worried you’ll come in your pants?” She dragged her lips across Serena’s neck.

“Worried we’ll end up in a heap on the floor. With broken hips and carpet burns.”

Bernie had to press her hand to her mouth to smother the goose-like laughter that sprang forth.

Guinevere chose that moment to scream so loudly they didn’t need the baby monitor to hear it.

Feeling terribly sensible and more than a little shaky, Serena slid from Bernie’s lap and pulled her up to sitting by her hands. “Perhaps we should pack up down here and go to bed.”

“I’ll go see to little monkey.” Bernie got to her feet, wobbled only once, and shuffled out of the living room.

After making quick work of the wine glasses and picking up their mobile phones, Serena hopped upstairs to find Bernie bent over the cot, one hand stroking Guinevere’s thin hair against her brow. A low and simple tune drifted out of the baby’s room, something wordless and calming. The baby’s eyes were closed and her breathing slow. Elinor’s old bedroom had made such a perfect nursery.

Serena smiled at the image before her and her heart warmed. _She is everything. My wonderful family, with Bernie at the helm. She will steer us both through anything, good or bad._

Once she had stripped to her briefs and socks, Serena slid under the duvet and waited. Her mind lazed across various images: Bernie with her back arched, chest bare; Leah behind Bernie, hands coming around to stroke her nipples, then lower; Bernie reaching up and back for Leah’s cheek, to bring her close, to kiss her.

Heat flooded through Serena as she allowed her imagination to take her to these previously forbidden places. She realised, with a rush of wetness between her legs, that it wouldn’t only be about Bernie watching her and Leah. It would be her watching Leah with Bernie. And perhaps Leah watching the both of them. Perhaps she could touch Leah and Bernie could touch her. Or they could all touch one another. She supposed the possibilities were endless.

 _Not something to talk about tonight._ Serena wanted to explore these fantasies by herself before talking about them with Bernie. She hoped Bernie would do the same—imagine them together, work out what she would find sexy. _Would Leah be different from Bernie? Would she want different things? Would she do different things?_

Bernie loped in, a very drunk look on her face. She smiled tenderly at Serena, lifted her eyebrows a fraction when she caught sight of Serena’s bare shoulders. “Where were we?” she breathed, then began to disrobe.

“Want to carry on where we left off?” Serena arched her back and wiggled her hips; her mundane jobs hadn’t quelled her arousal.

“Exactly where we left off?” Bernie smirked and got into bed beside Serena.

“Hmm.” Serena rolled atop Bernie, her elbows in the pillows. She deliberately and slowly rolled her hips against Bernie’s.

Bernie hissed and bucked, her fingers pulling at Serena’s hips. She frowned. “You’re not naked.”

“Nope.”

Her fingertips sliding inside Serena’s knickers, Bernie pushed at them.

After a few more breaths during which Serena teased Bernie by pressing her centre against Bernie’s belly, Serena relented and knelt up so that Bernie could slide her underwear down and off.

“Better.”

Bare breasts brushed bare breasts and Serena leant over Bernie, moaning as their lips met. Both Bernie’s hands slipped between her legs and Serena gasped as her knuckles fluttered in the same way they had on the sofa.

The sigh that rushed from between Bernie’s lips was full of wonder. “You feel so good, Darling.”

“Would you…would you…” Unsure how to express herself without it sounding silly, Serena lifted her hips and thrust forwards, so that Bernie’s knuckle pressed against her entrance.

“Inside you?” Bernie’s voice was barely a whisper.

Serena’s cheeks burned, but she maintained eye contact and nodded.

“Not your usual tipple.” Bernie took what felt like two fingers and touched Serena’s entrance, causing Serena to moan and reach for her wrist.

“I know.” She shrugged, gazed deep into Bernie’s eyes and flicked one eyebrow upwards. “Please.”

“Anything.”

Serena had to hold back the moan as Bernie thrust into her. She’d been right, they didn’t do this so often. But the way Bernie’s fingers stretched her, curled just right, felt so good. She rocked, sat astride Bernie, her legs spread wider than she was used to. The palm of Bernie’s hand bumped her clit each time she slid her fingers inside her, causing a little jolt of pleasure.

She ground down, pressing Bernie hard into the mattress, hungry for the feeling, the building of her arousal. She had the power, she could control her own pleasure. If she wanted to draw it out, she could. But it was too good. The warmth in her belly was blossoming, the pleasure between her legs intensifying.

“More,” she gasped. She couldn’t help groaning when Bernie added another finger, angled her wrist so that she could move more deeply within her. “Yes.”

“Anything,” Bernie promised, the nails from her free hand digging into the flesh of Serena’s thigh.

Another moan. Serena arched her back, her own hand coming up, her fingers pulling at her nipple, rolling it. Her hips sped up, her breathing was shallow. Bernie was so far inside her, it was as if she caress her very heart. Impossible, of course, but amazing none the less.

Bernie swore, pushed up on an elbow so that she could take Serena’s unattended nipple between her lips.

Serena keened, her hips jumping. She thrust and thrust, wanting Bernie deeper, better, closer. Her entire sex was on fire, burning, sparkling, fizzing.

A change of angle and the heel of Bernie’s hand made direct contact with Serena’s throbbing clit. It made her moan, lift her hips from Bernie so that she held herself up on her knees.

In response, Bernie thrust and thrust, using the space that had appeared between them to work her hard.

Holding as still as she could, Serena gasped, the pleasure building. She looped her arms around Bernie’s shoulders, holding her head close so she wouldn’t stop tonguing her nipple. Then Bernie hit that beautiful place inside her, the place that made her gush and contract. She buried her face in Bernie’s shoulder. She held her breath as it consumed her, her orgasm white hot like molten steel. It slipped through her, forcing her to press into Bernie’s hand, drawing her deep and holding her fingers inside as the waves shuddered through her.

A warm nose pressed against her shoulder. A warm hand trailed lazily up and down her sweat-chilled spine.

Serena caught her breath, before mustering enough energy to sit upright.

The smile on Bernie’s face was nothing if not blissful. Wonder filled her eyes and the way she exhaled through parted lips suggested she couldn’t find any words.

Serena smiled right back, caressing Bernie’s ears before threading her fingers into those blonde curls. She opened her mouth to speak but found herself unable to as well, as if the connection between her brain and language had been severed.

Deciding that Bernie was probably rather uncomfortable, Serena lifted herself onto her knees and patted Bernie’s forearm, indicating she could withdraw.

Bernie pouted for a second or two before obliging. The movement cause Serena to wince. “Sorry,” Bernie breathed.

“Worth it.” Serena settled back onto Bernie’s lap and continued to stroke her hair. “That was…”

“Wasn’t it?”

Chuckles took them both over, lightening the mood and brightening the atmosphere. Sure, she’d be sore for a couple of days, being fucked so thoroughly like that, but Serena didn’t care. It had been so intense, so brilliant.

“So good,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss Bernie’s forehead.

“Turns me on so much: touching you like that.” Bernie’s voice was gravelly.

“Does it?”

Bernie nodded. “Watching you above me.” She swallowed and seemed to take a deep breath. “Fucking you.”

“I think I’d like to watch you,” Serena whispered, her lips a millimetre from Bernie’s.

Bernie pressed her lips to Serena’s, her tongue flicking out to tickle Serena’s bottom lip. “Watch me?”

“With someone…” Serena smiled. “With Leah.”

“So it’s a possibility?” Bernie tilted her head. Her fingers caressed up and down Serena’s sides. “You’d like to explore that avenue?”

“I think I would.” Serena gave a single nod, to emphasise her point.

After watching her for a few heartbeats, Bernie smiled. “We’ll figure it out, then.”

“Okay.” Serena settled more comfortably in Bernie’s lap, her wet and sated centre pressed gently against Bernie’s lower belly.

Bernie inhaled sharply when Serena rocked her hips a little.

“This feels nice.”

“Does it?”

“Mmhm.” Serena rocked again, then knelt up and swung a thigh to recline at Bernie’s side. “You should try it.”

“Should I?” Bernie put a hand behind her head and grinned at Serena, her head nestled in the pillows.

Serena rolled on to her back and patted her own soft belly. “Come on.”

A moment of hesitation and Bernie was up and astride Serena, her thinner thighs either side of Serena’s waist.

Serena caught her hand and rested the other on Bernie’s hip. “Do what feels good.”

“Touching you feels good.”

“You did that already.” Serena patted Bernie’s hip. “Do what feels good for you.”

Bernie just sat there, sucking hr bottom lip and obviously having a think.

Taking it upon herself to get the ball rolling, Serena reached up to rub one of Bernie’s nipples with her thumb. The low moan was satisfying. “Move against me,” Serena whispered.

Bernie’s eyebrows furrowed. “You mean…against your abdomen?”

“Try it.” Serena tried a few things to coax her, rubbing Bernie’s hips, pushing her own hips upwards, and giving her encouraging little smiles.

Eventually, Bernie’s hips moved as if of their own accord, back and forth just slightly. Bernie’s belly tensed.

“Good?” Serena tickled the patch of skin where Bernie’s backside met her thigh. She could see Bernie’s labia, which was in direct contact with the area below her own navel. _Perfect._

“Is this…” Bernie didn’t seem sure what she meant to ask.

“Does it feel good?” Serena opted for the ‘is this okay’ interpretation.

A nod. Bernie rolled her hips again and pleasure flooded her features.

Wetness spread itself over Serena’s belly as Bernie rubbed her sex against Serena’s skin, back and forth. With every movement, Bernie tensed some more, her teeth working her lip and her legs shaking.

“If it feels good then you should enjoy it.” _I wonder whether she’s embarrassed about doing this. It’s clear she’s enjoying it, but she doesn’t know if she should._ “I want you to be free to enjoy whatever feels good, Darling.”

Bernie caught her gaze, then all the tension seemed to drop from her shoulders. “I bet there’s a name for this.” She indicated the place where they touched.

“Probably. It’ll be something terribly hip and _with it_.”

“Prit Stick, or something.”

Serena laughed. “Prit Stick?”

“Well you know, like…” Bernie balled a fist and made a motion as if she were rubbing off a smudge on a window. She had to grab onto Serena’s hands when her laughter nearly bucked her off.

“Well, whatever it’s called,” Serena murmured, lifting her hips to make a circling thrusting movement, “it’s very pleasant.”

“Very.” Bernie smiled down at her, affection and love shining out of her eyes. She began to rock again, her head thrust back and her breathing deepening.

Serena took in the view, marvelling at the way Bernie’s breasts bounced a little, and the way the wet patch between them became wetter as she continued to move.

Soon, Bernie was speeding up her movements, pressing more firmly downwards with her hips. She reached between her own legs and spread her outer lips, bringing her clit and inner lips into direct contact with Serena’s skin. The groan that vibrated through her at the increased contact made Serena smile.

Every so often, Bernie would gasp and thrust her hips erratically. Serena could see the pleasure flood her features each time it happened. After a while, these pleasure-filled moments were coming more frequently, and appeared more intense. Bernie knelt up, her clit barely brushing Serena’s belly. “Is…is it okay?”

“Is what okay?” Serena threaded her fingers between Bernie’s and held tight.

“That I…I’m going to…” Bernie moaned. “I’m going to come on you.”

Serena chuckled. “Please, be my guest.”

Bernie stilled briefly, then began to thrust. Her eyes slipped closed. Her fingers gripped between Serena’s.

Pushing herself half up on one hand, Serena took an idea out of Bernie’s book and captured one of Bernie’s nipples between her lips.

“Ah, yes,” Bernie hissed, her hips jumping.

Serena moved her head back and forth, following the rhythm Bernie was setting with her pelvis. Each time she moved she passed her tongue over the hard bud in her mouth and suckled.

The speed of Bernie’s thrusts increased. She loosened her grip on Serena’s fingers, choosing instead to hold her around her shoulders.

Serena made sure to bend forwards, to give Bernie more contact with her lower tummy. She flicked Bernie’s nipple with her tongue.

A grunt later and Bernie surged against her, gritting her teeth against a moan. A sudden wetness hit Serena’s skin. Bernie gasped.

The whole of Bernie’s body, right from her shoulders to her calves, went taught. Another influx of moisture, as Bernie’s hips rolled. “God,” she managed, her body going limp.

Warm happy feelings swam through Serena as she held the limp but heaving body close. She waited until Bernie had finished panting, then started to trail her fingertips lightly up and down her side. She made a low and drawn out noise of pleasure content.

The caresses along Bernie’s sides moved up, into her hair. Silky as always, Serena relished in the soft curls between her fingers. Fingers that usually brought Bernie direct pleasure. This time, a different part of her body had been the reason: not her fingers or mouth. And Bernie had clearly enjoyed it.

Bernie rested in Serena’s arms for so long that when she climbed from her their skin stuck briefly. Bernie’s furrowed eyebrows made Serena giggle.

“That was an experience,” she sighed, turning to face Bernie on the bed.

After plumping a pillow and settling into it with a groan, Bernie blinked at her. “It was.” A happy and blissful expression crossed her otherwise exhausted face.

Tickling a finger along Bernie’s collarbone, Serena shifted closer. “And _that_ has never happened before.”

“Hmm?” Bernie combed a hand through her hair, then looked around them both. “What hasn’t?”

 _Does she really not know?_ Amusement and affection swirled within Serena. She trailed a hand down her own body, her fingertips finding the wetness produced just moments ago. “You um...” she couldn’t decide which words to use.

Bernie’s gaze followed Serena’s fingers. “What?”

“Just...” Throwing caution to the wind, Serena took Bernie’s hand and introduced it to the same patch of her belly. She watched Bernie’s expression.

Clear confusion, followed by terrible shock. Then a flush spread across Bernie’s cheeks. “Oh. God Serena I...” She took her hand away and moved her gaze from Serena.

“Yeah.” Serena smiled, a little sparkle of pride igniting as she realised it had been basically a team effort.

“I... I’m so sorry.” Bernie scrabbled for a tissue from her bedside table, then dabbed shakily at Serena’s belly.

“I appreciate the clean up,”  Serena said trying to catch Bernie’s eye, “but the apology isn’t necessary.”

“I-it’s never happened b-before.” Taking a clean tissue, Bernie nervously wiped around the area, apparently desperate to make Serena clean.

“Darling.” Serena took her hand gently but with strength. “You... You do know that’s a good think right?”

“What, embarrassing myself like that?”

“Embarrassing your-... No darling. Its not embarrassing.”

“No?” Bernie audibly swallowed.

“It’s something amazing. Female... E-ejaculation is something I’ve only heard about in theory.”

Bernie seemed to be searching the far wall for reassurance. “Is that what happened?”

With a nod, Serena rolled to snuggle against Bernie’s shoulder.

“A-and you don’t mind it?”

“Do I mind that you get to experience so much pleasure when we make love that you drop your load on me? Are you kidding?”

Bernie blushed further, but a slow grin slid onto her features.

“You’ve no idea how sexy you are.” Serena dropped her voice so that her words whispered across them both. “Or how beautiful. I’d spend the rest of my life making you feel like that if either of us didn’t work on a busy hospital ward.”

Snorting and finally turning her gaze back to Serena, Bernie nodded. “I suppose I should set about returning the favour.”

“Feel free.” Serena stretched a little, her shoulders and spine making satisfying popping noises.

“Pyjamas?”

Serena sighed. “No. There’s an amazing breeze from the window I’m currently enjoying.”

“Feel free to fling yourself over me. Bloody December hot flushes.” Bernie fidgeted until she was under the duvet. Her hand came to rest on Serena’s thigh as she bent it over Bernie.

They were quiet for a while, the silence drifting around them and making Serena feel heavy. She settled the cool pillow under her cheek and closed her eyes.

“It...” Bernie was chewing her lip when Serena looked up. “It wasn’t a... A heat of the moment thing?”

“What?”

“The threesome idea.”

Serena made sure she truly considered her answer before she opened her mouth. “No. I would like to... Explore that with you. And with Leah.” She smiled softly, relishing how Bernie’s dark eyelashes framed her brown eyes.

Bernie nodded. “Okay.”

“Perhaps I could ask for her number. Her personal one. Then we could give her a ring once she’s signed off. And suggest our...proposal.”

“Sounds like you’re going to give her a job.”

“Gosh it’s a bit like that, isn’t it?” Serena laughed, before smothering the sound with her hand. “which makes it even more ridiculous.”

“Even if she says no—and I can’t imagine that, seriously, Serena, you’re absolutely gorgeous—I’m sure she’ll do it kindly.”

Nodding, before settling down again, Serena slung an arm across Bernie’s chest. Her fingers tickled gentle patterns into the skin exposed above the duvet, by Bernie’s chin. “I love you.”

“Mmm. Me too.” Bernie turned her head and kissed Serena’s forehead.

“Christmas soon.”

The arm under Serena’s head squeezed. “A good one this year.”

“Yes please.”

Serena felt Bernie drop to sleep a few minutes later. She herself spent her last waking moments musing the possibility of having her body pressed against someone else. Perhaps they’d all fall asleep together. There was something incredibly comfortable and sleepy about that thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I believe this might be the penultimate chapter....things get a little steamy with WHATSAPP.

Serena was just signing the last of her charts before the office door opened and Bernie strode in. She was wheeling her small suitcase and had her jacket already on. They smiled at one another and Bernie waved her passport in Serena’s face. “See,” she said, “knew I’d find it.”

“A miracle.” Serena shook her head in disbelief. “That box of three million important documents wouldn’t even close.”

“I know where everything I own is.” Bernie’s tone was a touch defensive.

Serena rounded her desk. “I know. I just think it’s rather amusing that you spent so long in the army, yet have such a cavalier way of organising your life.”

Bernie responded by smacking her on the top of the head with her passport.

Perching on the edge of her desk, Serena watched as Bernie fidgeted with her case, pushing the handle down and making sure her address tag was round the right way. Bernie’s eyebrows were furrowed and when she turned back to Serena, she sighed.

“I know,” Serena breathed. “At least we had Christmas off together, hm?” She caught Bernie’s sleeve and tugged.

“Five days in Scotland though.” Bernie’s jaw worked. “Stupid trauma centre conference. Why do they need to know how we’re running the unit? Bloody Scottish NHS.”

Serena knew it wasn’t about Scotland, or even the fact that Bernie was going to talk about the unit she and Connie had made into something spectacular. Bernie loved lauding it about, boasting of her own achievements. And they definitely had something to boast about. No. She was upset because Serena couldn’t go with her. They’d be spending four nights apart.

Therefore, she touched Bernie’s chin, bringing her eyes up to meet her own. They seemed especially dark this afternoon, as if the colour had deepened to a raw cacao with the lowering of Bernie’s mood. Affection flooded Bernie’s features when their gazes locked. “I’m going to miss you.”

Bernie’s cheek was chilled, so Serena slid her palm across her skin and down her neck. She parted her legs a little and tugged on Bernie’s hand.

After moving into the space, Bernie shoved her passport into her jacket pocket and slid her hands around Serena’s shoulders.

Serena gripped on, both her arms wrapping around Bernie’s back. She pressed her face into Bernie’s sternum, inhaled her perfect scent. The urge to bury in and stay there for at least a week made her groan in irritation. “You can’t postpone it until after New Year’s?”

“I asked. Twice.” Bernie pulled back but stayed very close, her fingers cupping the back of Serena’s head. Gentle fingers slipped into her hair.

Serena tilted her head back and let out a different type of moan.

A glance to the door. Bernie seemed to notice the closed blinds. “I know you’re at work and all…”

No excuses needed. Serena pulled her down and crushed her lips with Bernie’s. Bernie squeaked against her lips, which only made Serena bolder. Forgoing chaste for something bordering on indecent, she deepened the kiss. Tongues battled and Bernie’s hips pressed between her legs with insistence.

Serena couldn’t help sliding her hands up and down Bernie’s waist, before parting the unbuttoned jacket and touching the sides of her ribs through her thin jumper. She traced the elastic of her sports bra and brought her hands forward to cup Bernie’s breasts.

Bernie hissed against her mouth before she pulled back, her breath coming sharply against Serena’s cheek.

“If you do that I’ll just have to have you here.”

Serena knew she wasn’t serious but the spark in Bernie’s eyes said otherwise. “I wish we were the types of people that could just nip into a store cupboard somewhere.” Serena’s voice was airy. She removed her hands, but tilted her chin up again, wanting another kiss.

Bernie obliged. The office door opened with a squeak.

“Oh.” Leah stood with round eyes and a stack of files in her arms. “Sorry. I didn’t…” She turned her gaze away from the both of them.

 _She would have drunk us in a few weeks ago._ Something about Leah’s change in interest settled Serena’s nerves. She had finally accepted nothing would happen. _Little does she know…_

“Usually, my office is open to all, Dr Faulkner,” Serena said, keeping her voice light, “but a certain someone is going away for nearly a week, so I’ve got to give her a proper send off.”

Pink tinged Leah’s cheeks. She didn’t leave, but didn’t move farther into the office either. “Of…of course.”

“I was just leaving.” Bernie looked deeply into Serena’s eyes, as if committing her features to memory, before giving her one last gentle kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you. Safe journey.”

Bernie stepped back. She grabbed her suitcase and pulled her jacket back around her. Keeping her gaze locked with Serena’s, she nodded towards Leah, lifted an eyebrow in a meaningful way, before swinging out through the door.

Dropping back onto the floor, Serena straightened her blouse, before holding a hand out to the computer opposite her own. “Need a space to work?”

“All the other stations are occupied. You don’t mind, do you?” Leah’s gaze was trained out of the office door, at Bernie’s coattails.

“Not at all.”

Leah nodded once, before giving her a small smile. Then she sunk into the offered chair and began sorting through her paperwork.

Some time passed. Serena tried to work steadily, tried to force her brain away from the absence of Bernie, the fact that her bed would be cold for the next four nights. She needed to take some calming breaths, to stop the frustration from boiling over into anger.

“You’re um… you’re okay, are you?”

Serena looked up to find Leah peering at her over a file. She sighed. “Just trying not to think about being on my own until Thursday.”

Leah winced and nodded, understanding clouding her eyes. “I suppose you don’t spend much time apart.”

“We don’t.” Serena rubbed her chin and sat back in her seat, content to chat for a few minutes. “It’s odd. I was on my own for a good few years before I met Bernie. Since she moved in—actually since before that—a night alone has just felt wrong.”

“Must have been awful when she was in…was it Nairobi?”

Serena nodded. She wiggled her pen in Leah’s direction. “Since she’s been back we’ve not spent a night apart, except for night shifts.”

Leah’s smile crinkled her eyes. “And even some of those you’ve been together.”

“Ah, yes.” Memories of snuggling so closely on the on-call bed, of Leah finding them and leaning against the doorframe with such admiration in her expression, made Serena smile back.

“Must be nice. To have such a good thing going.” Bravado made Leah throw back her head. “Can’t say I’m not jealous.”

 _Wouldn’t_ that _be the perfect opportunity to bring up our anticipated arrangement._ Serena rolled her eyes at her own thoughts and made a nondescript noise. “Now, now, Dr Faulkner. I’m sure you’ll find something similar when it’s ready to find you.”

Laughter rang from the other side of the room. It echoed with self-deprecation. “Doubt it. The life of an F1 isn’t exactly jam-packed with free time to meet potential bed-fellows.”

“You won’t be an F1 for long, will you? This is your last placement.”

Leah sighed, then smiled, acquiescing. “That’s true. Then I’ll be an F2, with even less time.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Listen to me, whittling on.”

“No, it’s all right.” Serena sent her a fond smile. “I do remember. It wasn’t a million years ago that I was an F1.”

An impish smile suggested Leah was considering arguing the point.

Serena sent her an amused but reprimanding look.

“Anyway, I’m okay with the occasional one night stand or a bottle of something in front of the telly.”

“Sounds perfect.” Serena bit her lip. “Listen…” Her fingertip tapped on the desk. She had to physically stop her knee from bouncing. _Get a grip._ “I’d really like to take you out for a drink once you’re signed off. Just to celebrate this…” She made a gesture. “…milestone in your medical career.”

She worried that it sounded false. That Leah would guess her true intentions and tease her. Or, worse, accuse her of inappropriateness and leave the ward screaming.

Instead, Leah’s gaze lingered on her. “If that’s something you’re comfortable with, considering…” Unease flickered across her face. “…what happened last time we shared a bottle…” She shrugged. “I would be very glad to join you for a drink.”

All the tension rushed out of Serena. She tried not to let it show. “Wonderful. But not Albie’s, please dear God.” She shot Leah an overly dramatic look. “I can’t stand the endless Karaoke.”

“Me neither.” Leah chuckled. The noise was low, soft, and sent tingles down through Serena’s body.

She cleared her throat. “Okay. Tomorrow? I’ll get your paperwork done and sent, and then we can properly relax.”

Leah seemed to stop, her smile faltered. “Just so we’re clear…” Her gaze slid to the office door again. “Bernie…she’d be okay with us meeting up? Off the ward, I mean.”

Taking pity on the younger woman, Serena reached for her mobile. “She can’t expect me to stay in on my lonesome whilst she’s away. I’ll text her now and let her know.” Once Serena had sent the text, she waved her phone in the air.

Leah’s smile relaxed and her worry evaporated. She put her hands up, as if submitting. “Good. I don’t want to mess up the greatest romance since The Sound of Music.”

Serena snorted. They got back to their work.

 

* * *

 

They walked to a nearby pub, a respectful foot of space between them. Serena was glad of the icy breeze that pinged her sense and kept her fresh. Anxiety was coiling in her belly. Today was the day, or rather, the evening. Even though Serena had planned on simply getting Leah’s number and permission to text her every now and then, Bernie had convinced her—in a very breathless and sexy phone call the previous night—to just get on and ask her. She’d wanted Bernie to be there, but Bernie had taken the stance that she might as well go for it, whilst she had the chance and Leah was still in the area.

A bottle and two glasses ended up on the table between them. Leah checked her phone for a while, before locking it and shoving it into her pocket. “Okay. I’m all yours.”

Serena wasn’t sure whether Leah’s remark had been to flirt, or a simple flippant joke. She took it as the latter. _Safe ground to start with._ She poured them both a glass. The ruby liquid shone perfectly in the low light of the pub. Gentle music played and they had found a booth that was neither hidden nor completely open to onlookers.

A safe topic to begin. “How do you feel your placement has been?”

Leah gave her a flabbergasted look. “Serena, seriously. I’m all done, I’m not talking shop tonight.” She lifted her glass to her lips and took a sip. Then she murmured wordlessly and tilted her glass towards Serena. “Nice choice.”

“Aha, yes.” Serena clinked their glasses together. “My skills in the wine-selection and scalpel-wielding departments are equally matched.”

“I’d say.” Another sip. “Where did you get your amazing pallet from?”

“My mother.” Serena sat back in the upholstered chair and crossed her legs. “She taught me the ways in the depth of Paris.”

“The only thing my mother taught me was to how not to snag your tights on a night out.”

“An important skill.” Serena fingered her glass. _No need to rush things. I have all night._ “Nothing else?”

“She wasn’t really one for teaching me things. Sort of let me go my own way, if you get my meaning.” Leah leant an elbow on the table, her glass in soft fingers. “Which made coming out to her an absolute dream.”

“So you…” Serena wasn’t sure how to put it. She sorted through the seemingly endless list of sexual identities she knew of. _Really must swot up on those at some point._ “You came out to your mother at…at what age?”

“Eighteen. Fresh out of sixth form.”

“Must have been lovely to have an understanding mother.”

“Mothers have a predisposed image of what they want for you,” Leah mused. “But ultimately, she just wanted me to be happy. I think it helped that there was a chance that I’d one day get married to a man.”

“Ah so…so…” _Words, Campbell. Where have they gone?_ “I detect a notion of past tense?”

“Oh. No. I mean, men are fine. I can take them or leave them.” Leah gazed into her glass, swirling the wine around. “There’s probably still a chance that…if I find the right man…” She took in a deep breath, then gave Serena a renewed smile. “But I’m more into women, I think.”

“You think?” Serena leant forwards. “I find it curious that you’re…what? Thirty-two?”

“Kettle, black, much?” Leah smirked. “The rumours about your recent welcoming into the fold haven’t passed me by, Ms Campbell.”

“Please call me Serena whilst we are discussing my later-in-life lesbianism.”

“Impressed you managed that in one breath.” Leah’s smirk dropped and warm affection remained in its place. “Sexuality might not be fluid for everyone, but it seems to be for me. Currently, it’s all about the ladies.”

“In that case, we’re in the same boat.”

They clinked their glasses again, for no reason other than camaraderie. Serena remembered doing that at the beginning with Bernie, on their frequent drinks out together. She wondered whether it was a good sign, that she could notice the similarities.

“Here’s something I’ve been meaning to ask,” Leah said, reaching for the bottle to top up her glass. She flicked her eyebrows up once and Serena nodded. Leah poured Serena some more wine too. “D’you think you have a type?”

“A type that I’m attracted to?”

There didn’t appear to be anything flirtatious in Leah’s words, only curiosity. “Yeah you know…tall, slim, blonde…?” She grinned.

“You know, Bernie and I were discussing this recently. I’d never thought much about it before but I suppose I do sway towards blondes.”

“Me too. Weird I know.” Leah ruffled her own bleached hair, then smoothed it flat again. “I mean, I’m blonde. I’m not _this_ blonde naturally, but I am.” She squinted her eyes at Serena. “What colour was your hair before you went beautifully grey?”

Serena barked a laugh into her glass. “Dark brown. And prior to the year before last I more definitely dyed it.”

“What made you change?”

_She knows about Elinor. That must be why her words are so soft, so careful._

“I went away to France for a while. Couldn’t get the brand of dye that I wanted. And, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to bother about things like that.” Warmth blossomed over Serena as she remembered. “Bernie took one look at me with my scraggly grey hair that hadn’t been cut in months and kissed me full on the mouth. Right there in the airport.”

“She liked it?”

“More than.” Serena laughed. “I’m not saying her opinion was all that swayed me into keeping it.” She ran a hand through her hair, the blonde fringe she’d experimented with. “I needed a change when I was out there. I decided that might as well be it.” Her cheeks burned as she smiled at Leah. “And if Bernie fancied me more with it…” A shrug emphasised her point.

“I’ve not seen your hair brown, obviously,” Leah said. “But I think the salt and pepper look suits you. It’s distinguished.”

“Distinguished?” Serena scoffed. “Can’t you think of a more flattering adjective?”

“I can.” Leah had turned her attention back to her glass. “But we agreed I wouldn’t call you sexy.”

 _Come on, it’s the perfect moment._ But Serena still didn’t feel ready. They were having a truly nice time and if her suggestion went wrong it would be a shame to end it so early.

Still, she decided to be bold. “I’m no longer your boss.” She looked Leah dead in the face, waited for her to lift her gaze. “And although I admit the age difference between us is significant, it doesn’t mean we can’t complement one another on occasion.”

Leah finally looked up. One of her eyebrows was a millimetre higher than the other. “You don’t mind if I say I still think you’re as gorgeous as the first time I saw you?”

“A bit overzealous of you, perhaps.”

Leah blushed and looked away.

“However, I do appreciate the honesty.” Serena took a deep breath. “I still think you’re terribly attractive too.”

Blue eyes caught her own. Something akin to realisation filled Leah’s features. “Look, just because your lady-woman is away…”

“Oh, no, goodness.” Serena couldn’t help laughing. “Nothing will ever cause me to stray, not even a sprightly F1 like you.”

“F2. Credit where credit’s due.” This time, her laughter was reciprocated.

“Listen.” Serena put her glass onto the table and deliberately folded her hands. “That was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Leah covered her face, still giggling. “I know, I know. My subsequent placements will not involve me coming on to my superior. I’ve learned my lesson.”

“No, it’s not that.” Serena teased Leah’s hands from her face. She figured allowing her hands to linger couldn’t hurt.

Leah looked like a rabbit caught in headlights.

 _Time to come out with it._ “I have…well _we_ actually…have a proposition for you.”

The silence stretched. Leah’s eyes were still like dinner plates.

“I know this is a little unorthodox and you have absolutely no obligation to agree, but…”

She trailed off. _How does one put it so that one does not sound like a fool?_

“Do you want me to guess?” Presumably, at one with her own voice again, Leah eyed her, then stared at their touching hands.

“Now that I’m no longer your mentor, and I’ve signed you off on your placement…”

“You…want me to take over babysitting duties for Gwen whilst you and Bernie jet off to Australia?”

“No.”

“You’re planning on having kids and need a surrogate?”

 _Now there’s a thought._ “No.”

“Okay, guessing game over, Serena.” Leah turned her hands over and held Serena’s fingers, concern shining from her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. We were wondering whether…you’d like to join us…for a single night…in our bedroom.” She’d managed to keep her voice almost to a whisper; that was good. There weren’t many people around but the last thing she wanted was to be overheard asking a woman nearly half her age to a threesome.

For a few breaths, Leah just stared at her, eyebrows furrowed. Then they lifted and her mouth opened. She sat back in her chair. She picked up her glass and took a long gulp. “Well that certainly is a proposition.”

Serena’s confidence wavered. “I know. And it’s why I waited until now to ask.”

Leah chewed her lip. Then she took yet another mouthful of wine.

“You are absolutely within your right to say no.”

“I just…Serena.” Leah regarded her, head tilted to one side. “She’ll be back before you know it.”

“Who, Bernie? Oh I know she will.” Serena frowned in confusion.

“So you won’t have to wait very long. And there’s always, you know, Skype.”

“I’m well aware.” Smugness overcame Serena and she took the opportunity to wink at Leah. “That particular service has already been utilised.”

Even Leah wasn’t dim enough to misunderstand that. “But…I mean…surely you should speak to Bernie first?”

“I have. We’ve discussed it.”

Surprise lit up those blue eyes. “Are you sure?”

“I distinctly remember the conversation. Several, in fact. Over the last few weeks.” Serena held up a finger. “Six if I recall.”

“Oh.” Leah blinked rapidly, apparently still taking it in. Then she sat up straight, put her glass down. “I’m going to need some sort of proof that you’ve actually talked about it. That she agrees.” She shrugged, clearly apologetic but standing her ground. “I’m sorry if that’s mean of me. But I’m not one for drama.”

“Very sensible.” Serena gave her a courteous nod. “One moment.”

She sent Bernie a quick text. A few seconds later, she received a reply. She held out her mobile to Leah.

 

B: Hi Leah. It’s Bernie Wolfe. Serena tells me you need proof that she’s not trying to cheat on me with you. Very sensible. Here’s the proof. Would you like to take us both to bed with you, for one night of passion? x 

 

And a strong of emojis, most of random selection, perhaps to add humour to the otherwise uncomfortable situation.

 

B: PS don’t start without me! x

 

Serena rolled her eyes. “Always the wordsmith, my Bernie.” She chuckled, popping her phone back on the table. She sipped her wine, studying Leah over the rim, but gave her time to process it all.

The emotions that flickered over Leah’s expression were more entertaining than a night at the opera. First: shock, disbelief, mixed with confusion. Then embarrassment, a tightening of her lips, a rosy hue that scorched her cheeks. Then realisation, hope perhaps. Leah finally managed to catch Serena’s eye. Something sparkled in them that made Serena smile.

“Why only one night?”

“Well, you’re off again soon aren’t you? Pastures new. I’m sure you’ll want to find your own army medic to fawn over.”

“And it stops things getting complicated.” A glimmer of sadness in Leah’s eyes.

 _Has she done this before? Did it turn out badly?_ A surge of tenderness made Serena reach across the table. “We’d try everything we could to limit the complicatedness of the encounter. I promise.”

“Hm.” Leah didn’t make a move to touch her.

 _Perhaps she’s been told that before. Oh, the poor girl._ “Like I said, you’re under no obligation. If you’re not comfortable with it, it doesn’t happen.” Disappointment coiled in her belly, but Serena made sure it wasn’t visible on her face. _It doesn’t matter. We can hardly force her to do something she doesn’t want to do._

Leah leant towards her, one hand idly tracing patterns along the table. She traced closer and closer to Serena’s hand until her forefinger lifted and she poked Serena’s.

Serena remained stock-still. She held her breath.

“You know I said I didn’t like drama? Complicated?”

“Mm-hm.”

Leah’s finger curled around Serena’s. “I’ve been in a threesome before. Twice, actually.”

Serena wanted to tease her, to make light of the tense situation. But she wanted to know what had caused the darkening of those blue eyes.

“The first time was fine. We had a lovely time. Everyone got out of it what they wanted to. Then…she decided she wanted him more than she wanted me.” With her free hand, Leah held up her thumb. “That was the first time I was cheated on.”

Empathy tugged Serena’s heart. She took a leap and held Leah’s hand between both of her own.

“The second time, we were trying to make it work. She said she was happy. I thought I was happy. She suggested we have another go, with another woman this time. And guess what happened.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Serena pouted until Leah smiled. “Sounds like she was just an arse.”

“After weeks of wondering where I went wrong, my mother drummed it into me that I was not at fault.”

“And of course you wouldn’t want to do that again. Like you said—too much drama.” Serena patted the back of Leah’s hand, then sat upright again. “Forget I even asked.” She lifted her glass. “To keeping things simple. And friendship—how about we drink to that?”

“Ah, you see…” Leah brightened, leaning her head in her hand. “I’ve become a lot better at judging character. And, like you said, I’ll be gone in a couple of weeks.”

“Are…are you saying yes?” Serena looked wilding around her, her previous resignation that Leah didn’t want them in that way suddenly quashed.

Leah twisted her lips and looked at Serena with shy eyes. “I’m saying…I would feel very privileged to be invited.”

Serena followed Leah’s example of downing her wine, before she poured them what was left in the bottle. “In that case, to…fun times and complexity. But let’s still drink to friendship, hm?”

“To friendship.”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the evening was spent with much wine, laughter and gentle teasing. Serena relished in the company of the young woman, someone she was suddenly allowed to admire, without getting into trouble at work, or scuppering her relationship with Bernie. They exchanged private numbers as they were leaving.

“Look,” Leah said, tucking her hand into the crook of Serena’s elbow as they walked, “these things are always best when everyone involved is open and honest.”

“Bernie had the exact same thought.” Pleasure swam through Serena. Being on the same page made things so much easier.

“But I feel like you’re not the kind of person that would be quite as open face-to-face. I think we should lay it all on the line. Tell each other what we want from the evening.” She squeezed Serena’s arm. “Your good lady too.”

“Course, course.” _If not face-to-face, how are we to communicate what we’d like?_

“You’ve got Whatsapp, right?”

“I think so.” She took out her phone and squinted at the screen. “Isn’t that the one with the green breast?”

“Is it?” Leah tripped and giggled. “Oh no. Might have had too much wine.”

“You and me both.” Serena held up her phone. “Look. Green breast. Massive nipple.”

“Oh yeah I see. That’s the one.”

“I think I used it once to tell Bernie something and she never got it.”

“If you let me have her number, I can invite her to a group chat.”

Serena pulled her scarf around her neck, shivering against the cold. The wine made her head swoosh about in all kinds of delicious ways. She felt quite bold, using new technology, a pretty blonde on her arm, plans to have sex with her and with Bernie at the same time in their bed.

Somehow, they managed to collaboratively get Bernie’s number from Serena’s phone into Leah’s. A few taps and swipes later and Serena’s phone pinged.

“There you are. Group created.”

 

L: This is a group to chat about our plans. 

 

“Will Bernie get that too?” They stopped at the nearest bus stop. Leah sat on the little seat.

“You reckon she’ll figure out how to read it?”

Serena giggled. “I’ll have to do a training session.” She hung back, unsure what to do next. _Is it common etiquette to wait around whilst the woman you are going to have a threesome with gets a bus? Or should I leave her and hide out in the warmth of the hospital foyer until my taxi arrives?_

“Come give us a _cwtch_ then.” Leah’s hand was open and towards her.

“I’m not sure cuddling in a bus shelter is all together wise, do you?”

Leah chuckled. “I just meant goodbye. As thanks for getting in the drinks and looking after me once they were consumed.”

“Okay, well, all things remain platonic until otherwise agreed.”

“Course. C’m’ere.”

Serena stepped into her arms and felt them wrap around her back. To Leah’s credit, that was as much as they did.

The hug was brief. Once they parted, Leah waved her away. “Go on. No sense the both of us freezing our tits off.”

“Be safe.”

“Shall I text you when I’m home, so you don’t worry?”

Serena thought she could detect a little hope in Leah’s voice, through the bravado. She laughed and strode towards the hospital, in search of warmth, a place to wait for her cab.

 

* * *

 

It was Tuesday before Serena remembered the Whatsapp group. She opened it and found the message Leah had initially sent to both of them.

Chewing her lip, she wondered how she could begin. Should she dive straight in, start talking about what she liked: positions, sex toys—not that she had any—and what she expected from their encounter? She’d told Bernie about the group chat once she’d arrived home from the pub. Bernie hadn’t written anything in it yet. Perhaps a simple message—that would be a good start.

 

S: Hello Bernie and Leah. How are you both?

 

An afternoon off without babysitting duties and with a full pantry, Serena kicked her slippers off and settled with her feet up on the sofa. After several minutes of staring at her phone, willing for one of the group to reply, she picked up the TV guide and flicked through.

 

B: Hi Serena. So this is a group chat, eh? Fancy!

 

Serena grinned and shook her head. _My gorgeous technophobe._

 

S: That’s right, my darling. Leah can read all the messages you send.

 

She opened the magazine on that day’s date and ran her finger down the BBC channels. _Perhaps there’s a comedy programme I could watch whilst I wait for them to reply._

 

L: Hi Bernie. How’s Scotland?

 

B: Not bad thanks. Talk went well yesterday, they’re thinking about implementing some of the processes we use on the ED.

 

L: Fab! Sounds like you’re going down a storm.

 

Serena turned the TV on and found a documentary. Natural history. Something she could dip in and out of.

 

B: Only one more day of panels and then I’ll be flying home.

 

L: Bet Serena’s been missing you ;)

 

How to respond to that. Perhaps open and honest was truly the way forward with this thing. Serena tapped her chin for a moment, before replying.

 

S: Bernie knows very well how much I miss her. Good job phones exist! I get to talk to her and tell her how much I miss her every evening! ;)

 

 _Let’s hope that’s obvious enough._ Warthogs and giraffes drank from a watering hole, lions looked on, hunger in their golden eyes. David Attenborough narrated in his usual relaxing tone.

 

L: It’s good to talk. I think communication is the most important thing when it comes to relationships. Seems to be where I’ve gone wrong in the past!

 

S: Don’t be so hard on yourself. Anyway, I think we ought to talk about nice things. For example, the reason you set up this chat group thing was to talk about what we want and expect from our…whatever we want to call it.

 

L: Encounter? Experience? Party?

 

B: You’re throwing me a party?!

 

B: Joke.

 

Serena laughed. Bernie still managed to be a complete prat, even through the wonders of Whatsapp.

 

S: I suppose we should discuss ground rules before we discuss the finer details.

 

B: Sound sensible. Serena and I were thinking you could come over for dinner, we could have some wine, and then go upstairs?

 

L: Sounds lovely. What night were you thinking?

 

Serena checked their shared calendar.

 

S: We both have next Wednesday off and Bernie isn’t working until 3pm on Thursday. Any good?

 

L: Perfect! Shall I bring anything?

 

 _Now there’s a question._ Serena considered her options. She could be frank and open, ask whether Leah wanted to bring any adult toys with her, whether she liked that… But they hadn’t even discussed ground rules yet. _It feels far too soon. We’re just talking dates._

 

B: Anything you like.

 

Fair enough, that was that then.

 

L: So, ground rules. What am I allowed to do? Is it going to be a ‘me and Serena’ thing, or a ‘Bernie and Serena’ thing…? Am I allowed to kiss you both or just Serena or…?

 

B: I was hoping everyone would have fun. All three of us. No limitations.

 

S: I agree.

 

L: Fab. I’ve heard that sometimes couples just want one of them to shag the third. And no kissing.

 

S: Where’s the fun in that?

 

B: I’m all for kissing.

 

S: I absolutely love kissing!

 

L: Is there anything you guys really don’t like? The more extreme acts of sex? Toys?

 

S: Not into anal. Or S & M.

 

B: BLUSH.

 

S: Darling, no one can see you.

 

B: I’m sitting in the banquet hall in a suit having afternoon tea with some esteemed surgeons.

 

L: OMG you should have said! LOL.

 

S: Perhaps this would be a chat for this evening? Shall we return at 7pm? Keep the suit on.

 

L: Wouldn’t want you embarrassing yourself in your best outfit!

 

Serena didn’t even try to hold back her laughter. She’d phone Bernie before they chatted again. The documentary held her attention for a while, before it was time to make dinner for one.

 

* * *

 

At 6.30pm, Serena climbed into her pyjamas a whole three hours earlier than usual and rang Bernie’s mobile from her bed. “Hello, darling. How was your day?”

“You mean, once I’d managed to turn a normal colour and stop imagining you with a strap on?”

Serena chuckled, then hummed in affection. “I can’t believe you continued to talk about having a threesome with Leah whilst eating finger sandwiches.”

“Both activities had their merits. Once you mentioned anal sex, I figured I might be a bit out of my depth. Can’t keep a straight face however many tiny cakes I eat.”

“The rest of the afternoon went okay though?” Serena could hear the childlike pout in her own voice and didn’t particularly want to remove it.

“It was fine. Good food, made some important contacts. Mingled.”

“You mingled? Who are you and where have you put my Bernie?”

“Well, figured I ought to get used to it. Group activities on the horizon and all that.”

A comfortable silence.

“I’ve been imagining it,” Bernie finally whispered.

“Have you?”

“Mm.” Shuffling noises. Perhaps Bernie was in bed too. “Thinking about what I’d like. Specifically.”

“Are you going to tell me now or am I going to have to wait until later when you tell both of us?”

“I was thinking. I think…if Leah has a…” An audible swallow. “A strap-on. Or something. I’d like you to…I’d like her to…”

“Would it be easier for you to pop it in Whatsapp?”

Bernie huffed. “I want to say it. I just feel foolish.”

“You don’t sound foolish.” A pause. “Would you like to hear what I’d like?”

“Depends what you’re wearing.”

Serena chuckled. “My burgundy pyjamas. The ones with the big buttons.”

A gasp from the other end. “I love taking those off you.” Another pause. “I’d like to watch you and Leah. I’d like to watch her use a…a strap on. With you.”

“I’m sure that could be arranged. If she has one, of course.”

“Okay.” A sigh of blatant relief. “I didn’t know if you’d be up for it.”

“I’ll be honest, with your dexterous hands, I’ve never felt like I’ve needed anything else. But the image is quite lovely.”

A murmur, soft and low.

“I can’t wait until Thursday,” Serena sighed. “Why is it that when you’re not here I’m overwhelmingly amorous?”

“Really?” A chuckle. “I am too. I mean I have been. At night. Horrible big bed to myself. Too much space.”

“Perhaps we should Skype again.”

The memory of Bernie’s pixelated image on her phone’s screen, the clear desire in her eyes as she touched herself. Hearing her breathy moans as Serena told her where her own hand was. A shiver went through Serena’s whole body at the thought.

Serena’s phone buzzed, indicating a Whatsapp message from Leah. “That’s our gorgeous ‘third’ as she seems to like to be called.”

“Not a third wheel, I hope.”

“God no. More like…an honoured guest.”

“That, I like.”

“Speak to you later?”

“Absolutely.”

Serena waited a heartbeat longer, then ended the call. She opened Whatsapp and smiled at the message.

 

L: Still in your suit, Bernie?

 

B: Yep. Well just the shirt. No trousers.

 

L: I bet that’s a good look for you.

Giggling at the almost stoic way they flirted, Serena wiggled down into her pillows.

 

S: Back to business then. Ground rules!

 

B: Yes boss!

 

L: I’m just a welcome participant. It’s your house. You guys decide (obviously I won’t agree to anything I’m not happy with).

 

Serena chewed her lip, then began typing.

 

S: If you wish to leave at any point, just say. Even if we’re otherwise engaged, if you change your mind and want to stop, you can. If you don’t want to go home but want to stop, we have a spare room, although you’ll have to deal with Jason’s Star Wars lego.

 

L: Thanks that’s kind. Kind of like an ethical experiment.

 

B: If you need a shower or to brush your teeth beforehand or anything, feel free to use the main bathroom.

 

L: Again, very kind.

 

S: No anal. No tying anyone up. No hurting anyone.

 

B: BLUSH.

 

L: LOL Gotcha.

 

B: And I know it’s a no-strings thing, but it doesn’t mean we’re not going to look after you. I personally want it to be as enjoyable and tender an experience as is possible.

 

L: :) Very, very sweet. Thank you.

 

S: And if you wish to stay the night, you’d be most welcome.

 

L: If you guys want the bed to yourself, I’ll just go in the spare room. Lego or no lego!

 

As her heart settled, Serena let out a long sigh. Now it was just the finer details. Who liked what. Who would fuck who. A minefield of possibilities.

 

L: Are we done with the details? Shall we get to the fun stuff?

 

B: I think so. Serena?

 

S: Go for it. Would you like to tell us a bit about what you like, Leah?

 

An instant feeling of regret twisted Serena’s insides. Had that been too forward? She didn’t want to put Leah on the spot.

 

L: Okay. Just FYI, I’m feeling a little turned on tonight, and I don’t think talking about my sexual desires is gonna help matters. If I go quiet, you know what’s happening, and I apologise!

 

B: No need. Right there with you.

 

 _Now that’s surprising._ Serena would never have guessed that Bernie would admit to that. Pride rose up in her at how generous Bernie was being with her feelings. Such a difference from two years ago.

 

L: Okay! Nice to know ;) I’m not hugely fussy. If a woman is touching me, wherever they’re touching me, I tend to like it. I love having my neck kissed. I love being stroked all over my body. I like it when it’s slow.

 

B: Neck kissing – check. Skin stroking – check.

 

S: Are you making a list, my love?

 

B: :)

 

L: Would you like to know more?

 

S: If you have more to give. Sx

 

L: Okay, well I love oral sex. Giving and receiving. I think it’s one of my favourite things to do with women.

 

S: I love giving, I’m not hugely keen on receiving.

 

B: Maybe you’ll like it when Leah does it! ;)

 

That was not something Serena had considered. Would they discover things they liked with Leah that they didn’t like with each other? She made the decision there and then to allow that. It was inevitable. And it shouldn’t be a sad thing.

 

S: Maybe I will! Bernie loves having her thighs bitten, right on the insides, just FYI.

 

B:  really do. Um…is it okay to admit I’m feeling squirmy?

 

S: Bad squirmy? Or horny squirmy?

 

B: BLUSH.

 

L: It’s okay to admit it. I already have my hand down my pants.

 

A swooping jolt of arousal made Serena gasp. They were in separate rooms, in separate buildings, and they were turning one another on. She rolled her hips and relished the wave of pleasure it caused.

 

S: Oh to be young again! Instant horniness whenever the mood strikes you!

 

L: LOL. Only sometimes. Oh, that’s a point, either of you have um issues with…menopause stuff?

 

S: Hot flushes and the occasional need for additional lubrication. We have that here.

 

B: Same. Well, not the hot flushes. But the other.

 

L: I have some too. Everyone needs it from time to time. What flavour is yours?

 

B: Some kind of berry I think? Serena?

 

S: Strawberry.

 

L: I’ve got three. Strawberry, peach and a tingly one. That one is AWESOME.

 

The sudden image of Leah between her legs, coating her sex with some magical potion that would make her twitch and tingle, filled her senses. Serena moaned softly and pressed her thighs together. She was happy that Bernie was feeling horny, and that Leah felt comfortable enough to masturbate whilst they chatted about their sexual preferences, but did _she_ need to? Did she want to?

 

B: Okay enough of this. Sod the hell out of it. My hand is down my underwear too.

 

L: I bet you look really sexy. All smart with your shirt on and no trousers. Like something from Tipping The Velvet.

 

Serena could see Bernie, her shirt hanging over her thighs, crisp and white. The light from a cheap lamp shining through the cotton. The small swells of her breasts visible, pink nipples hard.

_Oh sod it._

Pushing down her pyjama bottoms, Serena trailed a gentle hand down her front. She paused at her lower belly.

 

B: What are you wearing, Leah?

 

L: Nothing. I’m just under a sheet. I’m really wet.

 

Serena hadn’t realised you could have text sex with three people involved. How naive she had been.

 

B: I’m really wet too. Serena, are you okay we’re doing this? I don’t think this was the plan!

 

S: It’s fine, darling. The thought of you both doing what you’re doing is making me feel amorous too.

 

That’d have to do for now. She wasn’t sure she wanted to properly join in. Or at least admit she was. Telling them how she felt was fine. She could do that. Her hand inched south a touch.

 

L: What else do you like, Bernie?

 

B: Having my hair stroked. Pulled a bit.

 

L: I could do that whilst you go down on me. If you like?

 

B: Would be much appreciated. I could stroke your sides whist I kiss you there.

 

L: That would drive me wild. Serena? What else do you like?

 

Serena’s clit was distended and slick when her fingers finally found it. She slipped lower and touched around her entrance for a while, not wanting to get to the stage where she could no longer text.

 

S: I love it when Bernie rides me. When she’s on top and I’m touching her. We did something the other week, didn’t we? Bernie? Where you were astride me? Do you remember?

 

B: BLUSH. You tell her.

 

S: LOL. Such a coy woman. Anyhow, Bernie was sitting on my tummy, her legs wrapped around me, and she was rubbing back and forth against my skin. It was so sexy!

 

L: Tribbing. I love to do that!

 

B: I knew there’d be a cool name for it.

 

S: Better than Print-Stick.

 

L: LOL!!!

 

B: It was rather nice.

 

L: Have you guys tried scissoring? That’s quite fun.

 

S: I don’t think we have. Not entirely sure what it is. Perhaps it’s something you could teach us when you visit?

 

L: Of course! Be happy to. I’m getting so wet right now.

 

Serena made another decision. Bernie and Leah both seemed to be enjoying themselves. She felt confident enough to carry on, to help them feel their pleasure. And, deep down, she felt thrilled that she was allowed to.

 

S: Bernie and I were discussing strap-ons earlier. Do you have one, Leah?

 

L: Yes. I love my strap!

 

S: Giving or receiving?

 

L: Both.

 

S: In that case, feel free to bring it with you. I’d love to try it out. And Bernie would love to watch.

 

B: Oh God. Okay BLUSH this feels so good. Serena, just thinking about all this stuff…I can’t believe how turned on I am.

 

S: That’s such a sexy image. Just imagine I’m there. Leah too. We’re both holding you. We’re both touching you.

 

L: If it’s any consolation, I’m rubbing my clit so hard and so quick I can barely type. I’m lying on my back with my knees up and spread so wide. I can’t wait to have your mouth on me. I’m so close.

 

S: The thought of you both touching yourselves when you think about all three of us together is so sexy. I’m starting to wish we were all together tonight. But, I suppose we must wait!

 

Serena moved away from her entrance and over her clitoris with feather light touches. She moaned, curled her toes into the mattress and imagined Leah on her own bed, spread so open, hand between her legs. What noises would she make? Would she move her hips like Bernie did, or stay still? Would she hold her breath when she came?

 

B: God. I’m going to come. I’m sorry. BLUSH.

 

L: No need to feel sorry. I’m close too. My clit feels so good. I’m imagining you right there, your tongue is flicking me so quickly.

 

Serena had to drop her phone. Her hand flew between her legs, fingertips circling and circling against her centre. She arched her back, felt it building, wanting it to last but unable to hold off. A quick glance back at her phone.

 

L: OMG that was amazing. Everyone okay?

 

B: Close. So close.

 

S: Bernie come for me darling. I’m touching myself too. I’m imagining it’s you, either side of me, both touching me. You feel so good.

 

Serena groaned, her body stretching backwards as the waves of pleasure burst from her centre and out to the whole of her body. She gripped her phone, pressed it against her heart as if the two women on the other end of the group chat could feel how hard she came. She rocked and rocked her hips against her hand, all the while imagining Bernie and Leah, one either side of her. Leah’s hand between her legs, fingers pumping in and out. Bernie’s against her clit. Team effort. So good. So sexy.

She lay in a sweaty mess and it was a while before she could focus her eyes enough to read the rest of the messages.

 

L: You okay Bernie?

 

L: You still there?

 

L: Serena, is she okay?

 

S: Bernie darling, are you alive?

 

Bernie would probably need time to process what had just happened. It was new for both of them, this foray into polygamy. And it wasn’t really that, it would be in principle for one night. Did today count, though? They’d, presumably, all three engaged in mutual masturbation with full consent and a common need for release. And they _had_ discussed the details of their impending encounter. That aim had been achieved.

Serena always refused to feel guilty about self-pleasure. She believed in freedom of sexual expression. And since their discussions surrounding finding other women attractive, she had managed a few orgasms here and there, with other women in mind, when she wanted something a little different. It wasn’t about shame. It was about pleasure.

 

B: I’m here. I’m sorry.

 

S: Don’t be. It’s okay. xxxx

 

B: Kisses back. Love you Serena.

 

S: Love you too, darling.

 

L: Shall I leave you guys to your cyber snuggles? I need to go shower anyway.

 

S: Don’t leave on our account. I think we can safely say we’ve all enjoyed this evening. And it’s only 7.30pm! What joy! x

 

 B: Can barely move my legs! That was so intense! Thank you for allowing me to join in with that. BLUSH

 

L: Stop blushing! It’s just an orgasm. I had a great time, but I’ve really GOT to go get cleaned up. PS Wednesday is SO on. Over and out. x

 

Rather than continue to chat with Bernie in the group, Serena opened a new chat for just the two of them.

 

S: That was amazing, wasn’t it?

 

B: It really was. And I didn’t think text sex was all that fun. We need to do that more! Without Leah!

 

S: Definitely. Just the thought of you in bed with only your shirt on made me so turned on, darling.

 

B: I think I need to sleep.

 

S: Lightweight! It’s not even 8pm yet. Cuddles though. Speak tomorrow?

 

B: If I can move to answer my phone, yes. Text you in the morning.

 

S: Love you. x

 

B: Love you. x

 

Serena decided to take Leah’s advice and shower as well. She never enjoyed going to sleep sticky. Sated, now that was a different issue. She’d definitely sleep well tonight, and she reckoned Bernie would too. She only had to wait two days for her to come home, and then a week until Leah would be in their bed with them.


End file.
